Jabba speaks Huttese to his kids and they answer back in Basic

trump: no one knows why it's called 8mm. the director doesn't even know. but i'm watching it and nicholas cage, he's on top of Machine and i said "don't do it," i said "don't stab Machine," but he does it. melania, our beautiful first lady was watching too weren't you? melania, off mic: he stab hem

the concept of “four strikes and you’re out” is so perfectly bluesky

good bot @goodkid-saadcity.bsky.social

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag. KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense. KOKO: jealousy professor

happy baseball season let’s all get ready to suffer

tim, join us on the pod

our time has come @goodkid-saadcity.bsky.social

hmmmm I’ll take the 78 year old who barely campaigns

many people seem to be surprised that bsky relies on venture capital funding to keep the lights on

i have it on good authority that barron is a massive family guy fan, preferring, as most do, the early seasons

starling (seth rogen): if you could take this survey that would be so awesome. i could get out of your hair before this guy's done jacking off. hannibal lecter (danny mcbride): motherfucker that's miggs. me and him are boys, so you better watch yourself. i'm behind this glass cause i ate some dudes

but Doctor… I am Football 301

Just fully asleep like this

yeah I’m sure ICE agents are on bluesky to keep close tabs on our nation’s loudest libs

you achieve opsec when you stop trying to achieve opsec

but is brad lander following opsec?? he could be a danger to himself and everyone around him

great, now they’re rubbing it in that we ripped out almost all of our streetcar lines

“justice for johns” is crazy

what’s it say then, big man

minorities willingly choose to serve white supremacy all the time. race essentialist thinking is a mistake

them both being experienced Border Patrol (11 and 7 years) is crazy but makes sense. cops will be cops

a modern day George Meade

any relation to Tom from Waystar Royco?

I think it's a transcription error by the OP himself. I watched the embedded video and the CNN anchor pronounces the word correctly

Unrivaled co-founder and WNBA MVP Breanna Stewart held up an “Abolish ICE” sign during player intros ahead of Mist’s game this afternoon. Photo via @unrivaledwbb.bsky.social

I really want to hear the internal monologue of the ICE agents trying to escape their pursuers by running red lights, only to discover it doesn't work, because traffic literally stops to let us chase them

and they assign you a white person ... to kinda follow you around

bsky sold out to Bain Capital?

Will Stancil is out here dealing with ICE and bluesky comments all day… the strength it takes

here, drink this soup. it will make you become Chinese

most white babies aren’t cute

Adam Friedland on bsky is going exactly how you’d expect

I’m here to make bluesky a little bit more Chinese

they do, sometimes they’re just dumb

Rich Mullins’ arc has taken a strange turn

the birthday boy has logged on

watching as a neutral, last night was like the Friday Night Lights movie, where they come up literally a yard short of the championship and then everything is quiet and sad as Explosions in the Sky plays mournful electric guitar over it

Starting to contribute more stuff at The Onion but I’m looking for assistant work in comedy. Please let me know of any assistant work or writing submission opportunities in that area! I’d love to get to New York eventually. Email is on my website amyash.me, or DM here.

when other people live your dream

you were under the impression that it was an issue of access... that the intellectual resources were out of reach... No... People like being dumb

all I can say is good luck with that lol

why is there a “rude” tag here in the first place. one of the most embarrassing things about this site

anyone who's adopted 17 cats can't be all that bad

he did a pratfall to avoid getting out of answering the question

holding myself accountable and admitting to @laureneahmed.bsky.social that I was wrong about Puff bars. I tried them again and it turns out they are something quite special. turns out it’s only when they’re cold they go tough and chewy

It's over: I've already depicted you as the seething broad gauge train, and myself as the smug narrow gauge!