Nothing speaks to the current state of Christianity more than the fact that atheists can give Pope Francis credit for trying to follow the teachings of Jesus while “Christians” like Marjorie Taylor Greene celebrate his death because he challenged her to do the same.

David Hogg needs to get a job in the private sector and leave us alone.

If I’m murdered and my story is on #Dateline and they don’t use my most flattering photos, I will haunt every MF involved for eternity.

I’m still alive. Just not here much.

The CIA quietly adding a breathalyzer to Pete Hegseth's official government phone

JFC have you guys seen this? Imagine if Biden’s administration had done this. www.theatlantic.com/politics/arc...

octopus? you mean submarine spiders

When my daughter was born, the nurse said "what a beautiful baby" she looked at me and said, "she must look a lot like her father"

Silly bitch logging on

That Isn’t As Funny As I Thought When I Was High: A Memoir

My 12 yo old perfect autistic son has been investing his allowance in the stock market for the last 9 months and has made more gains percentage wise than I have in my 48 years.

Stop what you’re doing and look at this baby I just met in the grocery store. LMFAOOOO 💕

If you see a man looking stressed ask him if if’s because he’s a disappointment

My patient sent a letter to my hospital saying I’m an angel in disguise. So I expect an Oscar nod for this.

So high I just gave the little floater in my eye a whole identity and a character arc.

And on the seventh day we smoke weed and rejoice

I should call him

Yes, keep bringing the worst, most vile shit from Twitter here. Everyone wants to see that.

They’re calling it the Pretty Girl Stoner Moon tonight

I’ve said this before: I’ll never understand what a given society (ours in US) could possibly have against making sure the basic needs of its people are met. Basic needs shift ever so slightly over time & sure you can argue about what they are but we’re not doing even the most conservative version

if we were still dropping pianos on people as punishment i don’t think we’d be in the predicament we are in now

The metaphors write themselves

Opting out of the measles vaccine is not like opting out of others. Measles is the world’s MOST contagious disease. An unvaccinated person exposed to measles has 90% chance of contracting it & can suffer permanent disability. Children’s safety shouldn’t be a partisan issue.

Contrary to what many think: Medically speaking, COVID is not technically “airborne.” It is transmitted by aerosol/droplet. Airborne diseases like measles and tuberculosis are very different. They can live in the air for 2 hours after the infected person has left the area.

sorry im not posting a lot. depression sucks

This dress will live rent free in my brain until I die.

Have you never asked yourself why none of the women answer your questions and replies? Don't tell me, they're all crazy.

Fuck social media. *me, logging in

🤤

True story. Thanks, Joe.

*keys a heart on your car*

The good news is that I’ll always love you, and the bad news is that I’ll always love you.

💅🏻

Cats are amazing bc after working 9 hrs on my feet so she can live in the lap of luxury I come home to her looking at me w this bitch face. Fuckin’ LOVE her.

Who did this? Y’all are dark AF. 😂

If you see this, you made the tragic error of mistaking my kindness for weakness. And you’re about to find out. 🔪

Dead

On behalf of those of us with children with IEPs, a sincere FUCK YOU for everyone who voted that demon.

I don’t even understand the rules of football. I’m here for the half time show and food only.

Jalapeño Corn Dip

There will be no winners today. Calm down.

Normalize pronouncing DOGE as DOUCHE.

Gen x get in here, we're talking about that time we almost died in field. 😂

There’s no United States. we’re just the States now

Who wants to eat edibles and homemade popcorn and watch this w me. 💫