What's the difference between a bank account and a bag of hair? One is a Cash Stash. The other is a 'Stash Cache.

I feel I should alert Bluesky to the baby foxes in our yard

Marjorie Taylor Green isn’t a known antisemite because she criticizes Israel, she’s a known antisemite because of all the talk about secret cabals, Jewish space lasers, Great Replacement theory, and Jews killing Jesus. Hope this helps some leftists who are mad at AOC for being right about her today

Me: *driving through rural Pennsylvania * wow, some of these houses are bougie. That one has a...what's a gorgonzola but a building? Sib: ... what? Me: a gazebo! Sib: 😑 You must fight the gorgonzola alone.

I wrote a thing.

I don't have to fix myself tonight I don't have to fix myself tonight I don't have to fix my life right. At. This. Moment. I don't have to fix myself tonight I don't have to fix myself tonight.... But Grod, do I want to. Gob, do I wish I could. Glob, if it were only possible.

what's a farmer's #1 way to get a lady's attention a tractor

Poverty &mental illness are v alike in that you can think you're ok, then 1 thing breaks & you're like "welp guess I live like this now," til you have the resources to address it. Then, you lie awake & wonder what it's like to exist w/o your mental or fiscal infrastructure constantly on the fritz.

guys, bluesky is dying. if we don't start getting more likes, a greedy developer will bulldoze the site to put up a parking garage. the only thing that can save it is for a ragtag crew of misfits to put on one last big concert at the community center.

Uteruses be like: the pain means it's working.

Trump’s actions seem perplexing, but you have to understand that while the rest of us are playing checkers, he’s a war criminal who rapes children.

It's probably a good idea to listen to the people who were saying "abolish ICE" ten years ago and pay attention to what dangers they're pointing out now and maybe get on board with that stuff too

ICE officers getting paid for standing around doing nothing while TSA employees work without pay is a pretty succinct summation of where we're at right now

not to be violently millennial on main or whatever, but god i miss myspace. specifically the music culture on myspace. :((

it's wild his full name was entertainment entertainment cummings

just missed World Tattoo Day but take it from someone whose skin is more inked than not—tattoos are fun and cool and a little pain never hurt nobody

I lost someone to su*cide 2 yrs ago, but we only just recently got to have the memorial & tho the pain hasn't diminished over time, it's been "refreshed" lately b/c of it. All of this to say, I'll take 1000 embarrassing "I forgot to wear pants to school" dreams over just one grief dream any day.

Today in Wholesome Hobbies: I've recently become obsessed w/ lego flora. So far, the $ loss is > I should've but far < I could've. I'm not too worried, tho. I doubt this will be long-term. ADHD hyper fixations are fun like that. Meanwhile, I'm amassing a lot of pretty brick-built flowers.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN I DONT GET UP AGAIN I REALLY LIKE IT ON THE GROUND I STAY KNOCKED DOWN I DONT GET UP AGAIN ITS REALLY COMFY ON THE GROUND

Happy birthday to women! 🥰

Found it! Technology is good, I am again the master of my own destiny

working on a shirt to wear to the laundromat

> butterfly in the sky heck yeah, nature is beautiful! > i can fly twice as high oh damn we're doing a diss track

every leftist i know is very excited about technology but unfortunately they want tech that improves society and makes people's lives easier and that's harder for wealthy prdophiles to build a trillion dollar industry bubble around

1. Beast. ❤️ an intelligent sjw, & he looks like a snuggler. 2. Eowyn/Samwise. Brave & unflinchingly loving. 3. Barry Allen. He's light-hearted & funny. Probably a good hugger. 4. Capt. Pike/Data? OK, listen. Pike is zaddy, & even Data w/o emotions is sweet & kind hearted. Husband material.

Be the wrench you want to see in the works.

Kindergarten teacher called a prank ICE hotline thinking it was real. She called to report her 6 year old student to ICE to try to get them and their family deported. 6 years old. She does not enjoy hearing her own words and actions played back to her.

Racists are garbage.

I'm just Ken Anywhere else I'd be a 10. I'd go by Kenby if I came out as Non-binaryyyy

While I absolutely don't want to lose Jonah and Emily as hosts (and Kinga as a Mad), you can bet I'm also super excited for this. Will we learn how Bobo escaped from the Zoo?

I think a lot of men genuinely don't understand that women HAVE to credential ourselves in these conversations ("I say that as an organizer with over 20 years of experience"). Most especially in discourse about male-coded fields, organizing being one of them. We get dismissed outright if we don't.

Sight in San Francisco (from a friend)

Um just so we name this, the president is abusing us collectively. He's an abuser, & he's abusing America, & beyond. We experience abuse from him, that's the dynamic.

Apple & Google removed ICE tracking apps in their app stores. TikTok reportedly suppressed videos criticizing ICE & the shooting of Alex Pretti. Meta blocked Facebook groups tracking ICE & links to a database of agents that the government wants to keep secret. Big Tech is enabling Trump's regime.

Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach's new movie Iron Lung is a compelling piece from start to finish. In this film, Markiplier shows it is not a huge set or a large cast that makes a great movie, but a profound story, expertly crafted and presented shot for shot, moment for moment.

franz kafka in certain situations: wow this is so me-esque

I don’t do cringe, unless it’s done artfully or to advance the plot.

Some personal news. I’m suing my good friend Mark

If you want to shout devastating but technically non-threatening things at ICE, you can say, "you look like your mom chose shitty men to be your step dads." Or "you look like your dad always had an excuse for missing your birthday."

Don't put pics on social media either!

babybel implies the existence of scarybel, sportybel, gingerbel and poshbel

Using phony criminal charges to intimidate his opponents. Deploying masked thugs to terrorize American cities. Unilaterally threatening and bombing foreign countries. Trump is a ruthless dictator, plain and simple.

ARMED THUGS BREAKING AND ENTERING HOMES NOW.

Gail opens up the Beauty and the Beast library behind her but it's all board games.

I should've been worried about *gestures broadly* today, but I had my own personal pile of anxiety taking up headspace, and part of me feels guilty about that, like it's selfish or something. How can I be worried about work when ICE is and Trump is and Palestinian apartheid and genocide is, and-

A reminder that the US killed 80 people in Venezuela, and it would be nice if the US media cared enough to think that the life of a grandmother in Caracas whose building is destroyed by a US bomb matters as much as the life of a person in the US.

TODAY'S OBSCURE GRAMMATICAL CHALLENGE Make a band subjunctive Would That They Were Giants

Following a white man to war because you disliked the sound of a black woman laughing will go down in American history as one of the dumbest acts of self-sabotage ever.