The Chicago Bears of Anaheim

Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.

The Centrist Eggman ™️ displaying his unwashed hands after using the bathroom

Inside you there are two Biffs.

Read this: www.wgbh.org/news/local/2...

gimme yule gimme fire don me now with gay attire

@profanity.accountant fire away, commander

@shutdownfullcast.bsky.social hey it’s that weird guy who talks about his son’s donger

RIP to those valve casings

PUNTS FOR THE PUNT GOD

Go for the onside kick, Dave Doeren

omg Noles lololol

ole miss job is now spoken for

its very rare you can pull together a duo that repulses people from all walks of life, but they knocked it out of the park here

Wrote this three years ago. The football parts held up fine, not that it was hard to predict

It's tough, Mamdani seems like a great guy and inspiring candidate but when you look at the sterling coalition standing against him (Cuomo, Musk, Trump, The NY Post, Dave Portnoy, Bill Ackman, Chuck and Amy Schumer, the little guy from Shark Tank) it's hard to know for certain.

A very specific and heartfelt good morning to Natalie Maines

This is the perfect description of her music

As a Dodgers fan, I literally feel like Sarah Connor at the end of the first Terminator. That’s how good the Blue Jays were. Like we won but I’m so traumatized I’m going to lose custody of my son because I trained him to shoot weapons in Nicaragua and I’ll end up in a max cell at Pescadero

Bunting is for cowards

NEVER IN DOUBT LOL

1,416,977,400,000 Vietnamese Dong for Brian Kelly’s current buyout at the current exchange rate.

Texas had 8 first downs in the entire game. EIGHT.

Watching Kentucky football gives me the same feeling I get while watching Eraserhead

Mark Stoops committed football malpractice in that overtime sequence.

there's far from god's light and then there's Texas/Kentucky in OT

This team makes me so sad

In case you went to bed early and missed the greatest single performance in the history of sports:

Jeff Brohm is basically a lethal peanut allergy that only affects top 5 teams

Beck’s got a fourth pick in him

B u t t h o l e E y e s

Every punk band got that one bassist who looks like the first zombie in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Now playing: “Candle in the Wind” In memory of Trent Dilfer

BIG GAME JAMES

The Nard Dog rides again!

I’ve been offered a ton of money to do a comedy set aboard the Borg Cube

Shoot James Franklin into the sun

watched like three seconds of Hegseth and woo call him the Secretary of War cause my boy is bombing hard

A lot of Greg Sankey at SEC Media Days in Pete Hegseth.

So considering he reposted that AI medbed thing last night there's a nonzero chance his own advisors have been showing him AI Fox News clips in the oval office and he thinks they're real

Notre Dame is now over 400 yards in the first half at Arkansas good lord man

Sad hog noises

can't even be struck by lightning and killed because of woke

Meghan McCain slammed Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's daughter, Violet Affleck, over her UN speech: 'This is why people hate nepo babies,' the daughter of Sen. John McCain said.

If you’re rich and not a coward, this is what you’d refer to as a “market opportunity” to dominate a media ecosystem that’s about to be covered in grotesque government slop. To be a pop of color in a sea of beige will be easier than ever. People will flock to it. You gotta be a little brave, though.

counterpoint: these exact same losers say the exact same thing every time anybody talks back or puts a girl in a video game or whatever so i don't think the liberal urge to performatively flinch at the canned backlash is a useful reflex in 2025

cris collinsworth called the 4th quarter of that game like he was watching Monster Jam and that was absolutely the right choice