LISTEN UP, MICHIGAN ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ᵇᵉᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃᵈᵘˡᵗˢ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵒᵒᵐ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ʳᵘˡᵉˢ YOU PIECES OF SHIT

welp it just happened again

Special teams seem to have turned it around. Ohio has never been at war with New Jersey. And Carnell Tate and Jeremiah Smith are both going to be just fine.

Wrote about Carnell Tate, Jeremiah Smith & Bon Jovi

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Rutgers Situational, 1:15pm ET @elevenwarriors.com

Penn State on an absolute heater this season (derogatory)

1. They make 6'6" linebackers in Georgia now 2. Not photoshopped, he's actually this big. Sitting atop St. John Arena as one does, bored by the fireworks going off near his head 3. Expect his ranking to jump several hundred spots now because *karate chop hand gestures* recruiting is an exact science

UCLA has two 1st downs going into halftime. Just play the 2/3/4s the rest of the way. Smith was noticeably gimpy

Amazing TD run by RB4 in the 2nd quarter

Apparently I have no idea what roughing the passer is anymore

Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world.

It must be nice to be able to draw a holding flag in conference play

This TAMU game reeeeeeeks way more than “they’re having a bad day” absolutely reeks

Wisconsin is on its 4th string everything and yet the S&C staff hasn’t even been arrested yet

8 years of "What is a woman?" and now it turns out that the comeback was "define a child"

Ohio State and UCLA could both decide to wear their home uniforms on Saturday night. They've done it before!

8 million songs about Los Angeles and I wrote about one of them

PROGRAMMING NOTE: UCLA Situational, 1:15pm ET @elevenwarriors.com

Washington-Wisconsin & Auburn-Vandy engaged in simultaneously thrilling mid-offs. Entire sections of both stadiums shirtless and screaming. Playing for ReliaQuest dreams and Duke’s Mayo bowkaki. Everyone at field level is in hell. Best sport and nothing comes close

Iowa's unique place in college football traditions:

It is deeply stupid that Iowa and Oregon didn’t come up with a big dumb gaudy bird trophy to play for today. We used to be a proper conference

For any Oregon fans unaccustomed to what playing Iowa is like

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom. PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom. DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

The third time you watch this just focus on the guys on the sideline

The actions of a man who believes fainting is contagious

Purdue's most recent B1G win in football came against...any guesses? The answer might surprise you.

many are saying canceling everyone's flights and food benefits right before the Traveling & Eating Holiday is a good move, politically

I wrote about the Grateful Dead

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Purdue Situational, 1:15pm ET @elevenwarriors.com

draft-eligible underclassmen seeing the Jets pile up high draft picks

cannot believe they figured out a way to get Nico Iamaleava back in Ohio Stadium under the lights, this is David Blaine-level magic

Maryland is deeply unserious

running off-tackle in the most telegraphed way is my passion

No earthly idea what targeting is, have stopped trying to figure it out. Anyway 1st down Clemson

oh my god

IMPORTANT: Today Gronk & Jeff Svoboda recreated their iconic photo from Gronk’s hungover visit in 2006 📸 Josh Winslow/11W

It would usurp the 2024 Michigan game for objective hilarity I wish I was equipped to enjoy

I wrote about turning bad losses into good lessons

TIL Brian Kelly is Cleo McDowell www.espn.com/blog/green-b...

Among Godfrey’s myriad of skills is turning a “who could have possibly seen this disaster coming” essay about a mismatch that could be seen from space before it happened into an elegant skewering Toni Morrison would have found the grace to deliver apologetically

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Penn State Situational, 1:15pm ET @elevenwarriors.com

Still in awe that LSU hired a coach everybody absolutely hates simply because he was purple, lessons learned

Jets won, Nick.

IU appears to be playing with 16 guys on both sides of the ball and 11 of them are dominating their matchups on every play. You can’t even breathe they’re beating you so consistently

In Morgantown for a little football weekend and ran into an old friend from Columbus

Oh no, Chauncey Billups has to play right field for the Barons now.

Long read: When a monster shows up, hoping it just goes away has not proven to be effective anywhere.