Nation Enthralled By Adult Man With Huge Juicy Ass https://theonion.com/nation-enthralled-by-adult-man-with-huge-juicy-ass/

demeter when her daughter goes missing

(to the tune of "wave of mutilation") Prague defenestration

Ihmiset on kyllä välinpitämättömiä. Joku oli pudottanut kaupassa piirakan maahan eikä ollut nostanut ylös. Onneksi minä olen huomaavainen, joten nostin sen ja asettelin siististi takaisin tuohon samaan riviin muitten kanssa.

BREAKING: Your cat is starving to death and you should feed it immediately and throw in a little extra to be safe, according to a cat source who requested anonymity due to fear of retaliation.

The “music for people who have tattoos of their children but not custody” tour.

Ainakin yksi ministeri on valmis lähtemään.

Australia's cyber security co-ordinator just dropped what I think will be a very useful reaction meme

Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.

Pope Leo has lost the Protestants, I repeat Pope Leo has lost the Protestants, this is unpreced— <wait my producer is just whispering something in my ear> Apparently this is precedented

Another great thing about the BBC's 1965 Sherlock Holmes TV series, it's one of the very few productions to keep Holmes's original catchphrase "Purse wank!"

make sure you choose a password that contains capital letters, numbers, and special symbols so that someday the data broker who purchases your info can go "ooh good password" after your login details are inevitably leaked in a data breach you can do nothing to prevent

moomin + #witchhatatelier

Aina kun rahat alkaa olla vähissä niin muistan tämän periaatteen. 🤭

Has science gone too far? #GoneTooFar

ANCIENT GREEK PRO WRESTLING PROMOTER: ok so you're going to be what's known as a "heel" ACHILLES: fuck you

Muhahaha! Etätyön kunnianpalautus. Sinne meni nyt hukkaan hyvä etätyönvastaisuusmasinointikampanja.

When a frogs car breaks down he gets it toad

and yet when you go to the airport you arrive at “departures” and depart from “arrivals”. why are they keeping the truth from us?

Hi this joke is for me

Freestyler

yritän miettiä kotiryyppäämisen matalinta käännekohtaa ja lähin mitä pääsen on "alkoholimyrkytys kermaliköörillä"

Suomessa ei kannata - elää vanhaksi - tehdä lapsia - asua Maanpuolustuksen tarvetta en Murron puheissa ymmärrä, miksi tämmöistä läävää sitten pitäisi puolustaa? Ai niin, jonkun köyhän pitäisi turvata hengellään Murron omia miljoonia. www.is.fi/taloussanoma...

Unhappy to report the phishing one is quickly becoming a real problem now. Why go to the trouble of social engineering when people will just give up their ID, financial info, biometrics, etc. to an AV portal? There's no standards so how can you differentiate a fake one from a real one?

making a 30 years war comedy show called It's Always Sacking In Madgeburg Charlie Day plays Friedrich V of the Palatinate

vähän outo kiuas pakko sanoa

i know we're all very busy with the apocalypse and whatnot but id like to bring to your attention the existence of the humble pink fairy armadillo, an animal that actually exists on this planet we all share

Idk what this thing is but it stole my pillow

Ideal relationship dynamic

😢 😢 😢

In 1999, I was playing a decker in Shadowrun, and tried to distract a guard by hacking a water fountain to overflow, and my GM said "why would a water fountain be on the network? That's fucking stupid. No you can't try." Well it's 2026 and I just want you to know, Phil, that I FUCKING CALLED IT!

Also women hating men usually just means staying far from men whereas men hating women can end up in murder.

strange these op-eds about women being too angry have all come out the last few days when during the same time there's also been a massive investigation published on an online rape academy with millions of viewers a month and none of them have bothered to even cover it, even as news

remember when celebrities seemingly randomly started coming out talking about how much they loved NFTs and thought it was super valuable and the future?