this kinda energy

goddammit I shoulda stayed up lol

doctor didn't laugh at any of my jokes during or after my prostate exam ☹️

My sweet mom saved this report card from a YMCA swim class for over 40 years because the teacher noted I was a "sweet kid", ignoring the fact that I failed 4/5 of the tasks and was emphatically denied progression to the Beginner "POLLIWOG" program

when my little brother was a toddler he'd go behind the furniture in the den and stand like this while he shit himself

omfg WHO could she be talking about?

(vocoder voice): 🎶in the cittyyyy🎶city of Roku🎶

me and my wife folding the fitted sheet

This would have been an incredible weekend on the Renner App

If I found myself in a room alone with a woman I would be forced to kill myself in front of her.

where is he

I know this is not for everyone and is for a very particular type of person by goddammit if that person ain't me

in retrospect we should’ve been meaner about this

Well this sucks, I wanted to watch Home Alone but I couldn't remember the title and rented this

This is a very advanced technique so I don't necessarily recommend it; but I swear she thought it was funny

post-lunch timeline cleanse

Just saw this guy in south jersey what does it mean

Ok I changed my mind, go back to explaining how it's a Christmas Movie

I'm not defending this in any way shape or form but the article cites one example from the Obama administration and the rest are all Trump and Bush. Anyway lock them all up and throw away the key

Apple TV is bugging out in a hilarious way

uh, yeah. You could say I enjoy cinema.

Can't believe Tarantino went and pissed everyone off and preemptively took the steam out of my performative "Now Seated for Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair" post this afternoon 😡

every single person in that room. Murderers.

you're telling me this Europe Express is Trans?

does this look like something a “dead culture” could produce???

this is so tranquil ☺️🪴🌿🌱

I seem to get tons more engagement when the word "vinyl" is a post somewhere. Don't know if it's a coincidence or if my people are out there searching "vinyl" on here. Anyway:

We need a political party of the left

this is how I imagine the conversations go at every party when I leave early

It's over now...

this is how I imagine the conversations go at every party when I leave early

This mercifullyreversed course somewhat post-2020; but there was a time where I was imagining a distant future in which America would be known as Black Friday: The Country ™️

Then don’t do it what the fuck do you want from me

I wanna hold you in the bible black predawn you're quite a quiet domino bury me now

Club Mix

my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder

trying sports gambling.

my kid saw this in the fridge and said "what is this?!" and I told him "I bought it for you to celebrate your 21st birthday in a couple years 😀", and he laughed??

yo let me check my math real quick

Reading @stevenhyden.bsky.social's 'This Isn't Happening' has made me aware of the existence of this compilation, and I need to own it like yesterday www.discogs.com/release/9821...

We got a new xmas tree and it's pretty whimsical I love it 🤗

been rewatching Twin Peaks so I'm more obsessed than usual with this soundtrack. Always bothered me that the vinyl color was advertised as "Damn Fine Coffee" colored when everyone knows Agent Cooper took his coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night", seems disrespectful.

🏔️🏔️ 🔴

i keep thinking about this and cracking up

my wife will see our dog sitting on the couch and say things like: "It's a worm! He's a worm!" "It's my wormy boy! Are you a worm?" (takes 163 photos)

Reservoir Dorks

I've thought a lot about how this could have some retro appeal for Gen Z as well as obviously being welcome to us Old Internet people. I have a 19yo running around with a 2MP digital camera, an iPod Classic, and CDs, it's possible...

I'm always saying this.

latina baddie I can have a Hudson/Vasquez kinda dynamic with