MAGNUM condoms should each be packaged in a fine silk pouch with a drawstring

☹️

do you think they explored each others bodies

my air conditioner is working harder than any billionaire ever has

Grandpa is reposting AI slop again 😮‍💨

Jersey Mike saw a hoagie and asked "what if it was soaking wet?"

GODZILLA v. OPPENHEIMER

I have so many photos of James Gandolfini that my phone thinks he's my dad

The Ring is a movie about how important it is to smash that "repost" button

There's two LabCorps nearby, one is always really crowded with long waits and the other one has blood stains on the walls. Guess which one I go to

Why did seeing this make me mad

FACT CHECK: the leader of the nazis was not murdered :)

this might get me to go to game conventions again

Criterion Channel Trialmaxxing

Keep going.

Coming in fifth place in a “wash your ass” contest

there should be a number you can call to have people like this immediately sent to prison for life

the male loneliness epidemic

(trying to convince my family to watch the greatest movies ever made): "I asked my tv and it said it was good.l

My onionphobic wife is out of town. I give her an appropriate amount of grief about having to modify every recipe that exists, but after twenty+ years I can admit chopping onions fucking sucks

Uh, yeah...I study film theory

Crash (1996, d. David Cronenberg)

Qoute from Team Lover:

can check?

The European Mind is not capable of understanding a defunct Rainforest Cafe

wait the new Death Cab album is good? We doing this?

I'm built exactly like this I don't find this funny

you know. I'm starting to come around on AI actually

"don't rush her, this is her Sephora" ...but Sephora is also her Sephora

I was shocked when I saw this was out this week after seeing zero promotion for it whatsoever. Saw it a couple months ago at Springfest and it was great.

"don't rush her, this is her Sephora" ...but Sephora is also her Sephora

Happy Funky Kong Friday to @bolognasalad.bsky.social and all who celebrate.

🚨 DANZIG'S HOUSE UPDATE 🚨 open.substack.com/pub/danozzi/...

I think it's important we acknowledge when good things happen during the Rav 4th inning on Nola day.

The National Anthem

I wrote a song about the Los Angeles Dodgers im calling it 'Fuck the Dodgers' please enjoy

one of a kind Mail Day

Definitely one of Chucko, Buster, Pete, Bob, or Dan

girl I've seen some cursed items in my day but

Seems like an accurate statement, because that would be fucking horrendous

my wife said that my spatula, which I use at the grill to cook in a masculine way, is "SpongeBob coded". Am I right to be angry at her

Just learned this exists

Who else thought this was the Phanatic for a second?

Really hope I can finish this track before the weekend is over

Hey pal

It's all on Prime ™️

remains very funny that this is what he’s doing instead of attending his son’s wedding