hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Who needs stupid morally bankrupt Eur0v1sion anyway, I got to see Pif Paf Pof performed **live** tonight!! Tremendous show with plenty of waspish Cumming barbs throughout 🥰 #thehighlife #youfucoffee

It's Friday night, why not kick back, enjoy some stonking tunes from around the world*, discover some new delights and maybe vote on your faves?! 🎶 * specifically Senegal, Paraguay, Ivory Coast, France, South Africa, Japan, Ghana and Iraq 🌎

I’ll tell you how good this song is, I didn’t even notice that the second verse is the same as the first. David McAlmont sings it with different inflections that it sounded like a new chorus

Farage is well aware that the British press in full kill ‘n’ rend mode means platoons of journos on his doorstep every day for weeks and hacks going through his bins for incriminating info. He has good reason to be very afraid of that and wants to deter it, never having experienced it before.

Well... happy James Delingpole’s Search History Day to all who celebrate

🇺🇸 #Trümp YESTERDAY: " Xi Jinping is a horrible leader. He’s sending weapons to #Iran. I’m placing permanent sanctions on #China." 🇺🇸 #Trümp TODAY: "You are a great leader. I tell everybody that. Some people don’t like me saying it, but I say it because it’s true. I only tell the truth."

Who needs stupid morally bankrupt Eur0v1sion anyway, I got to see Pif Paf Pof performed **live** tonight!! Tremendous show with plenty of waspish Cumming barbs throughout 🥰 #thehighlife #youfucoffee

I think British kids of a certain age feel the same warm comfort about Jon Craven as many Americans did about Mr. Rogers. Different approach from the two, but same trust that kids were capable of grasping more than most adults assumed-

I feel like Wes Streeting would be the current politician most likely to work with the Daleks then get exterminated ten minutes before the end of the episode.

One big reason I was always annoyed with the whole “ROCK IS BACK” talk circa 2001 from people who apparently thought that the only place in the world was Manhattan was that I was all “You wanted catchy hooky rock songs? These guys have BEEN doing it for a decade, sorry if you didn’t notice.”

Very interesting

I kind of think that if your Mouse Trap gambit to save your party and your government depends on one guy becoming PM and that one guy can't be found within the 400+ people you actually got elected then that is very much a you problem

Checked BBC iPlayer last night and there's at least 50 great/intriguing/rollicking fun/emotionally devastating films sitting there right now, for free - cor, eh?! My recommendations (includes one or two I've yet to see) : Aftersun A Simple Plan Boiling Point Booksmart Bringing Up Baby (ctd)

ITV News just vox-popped an older northern woman who said that she had switched from Labour to Reform because she was angry that illegal migrants were “getting hotels when British people can’t get hotels”. At some point Labour surely just has to say these people are completely politically illiterate

Reform’s Malcolm Offord gubbed in his own Greenock constituency but will get to Holyrood via PR list system he doesn't even believe in. Nice one. So many boats, cars & homes but no seat.

A washed up, irrelevant, legendarily humourless Labour PM, who started making self-sabotaging errors of judgment as soon as he gained power... and Gordon Brown.

I want to close tomorrow's a bit earlier so I can get the playlists for Round 2 and the B-Sides all nicely done, so vote in this too please, don't leave it late :)

Also, he has no clarity, convictions or values. It is apparent from miles away. He is not driven by anything other than treats and authoritarianism.

Only necessary mistakes from here on out! This is a reset!

In case of emergency break glass and deploy Broonie

Stunning final day of the first round. I cannot understate how many great and wild and weird bangers and bops and jams have been bringing the noise to the field. Just astounding. Thanks to everyone who has taken part. Just a victory for music.

Motherfucker all you are is the status quo. You are such a man of the status quo Francis Rossi could probably sue you for copyright infringement

*rubs temples* I want to scream until I shit myself to death. This not only not using alt text, it's fucking AI. It's complaining about data centers ruining nature. With AI. We are the giant pandas of sentient species, istg. The fermi paradox's answer is just that we fucking suck this fucking much.

To fully troll us, this should be a tourist advert which ends with “come to the Highlands and Islands and make your holiday count.”

Mel Brooks secretly funding Lynch and Cronenberg's æ 'brilliant but hard to sell' post-debut projects while not taking credit because he wanted audiences to take their work at face value w/o the distraction of "Mel Brooks means funny" is the purest thing that ever happened in the US movie industry

Starmer's only mode of political communication is what we see in this quote: informing people what they ought to believe in and want if they are to count as part of the country. And what we are told we want, invariably, is empty platitudes and secure borders.

Rewatching a 2000s sitcom & there's a cameo by a disabled actor & the joke is the main character won't date them because of their disability & I could instantly recall three other roles in award-winning shows/films this actor was in where they had to do the same plot point. And, well, that sucks.

Had convos w/ multiple people in the past 4 days who DID NOT KNOW that 1. AI doesn't "think" or know anything; it's a probability machine 2. It was created using massive amounts of work stolen from actual people including me 3. The environmental costs are astronomical Spread the word, every time!

[2 years into government] yeah it’s basically ungovernable mate. Tried it but nah. No you may not “have a go”, it’s mine.

"The little grovelling bastard" #attenborough

At least Anas Sarwar has the Glasgow / Glasgow derby to look forward to on Sunday

my face is stuck in this position = Birmingham Greens have (at least) 18 councillors + are currently 2nd party It's a huge message to Shabana Mahmood + Keir Starmer that they cannot expect support from Birmingham any more while their policies continue to be cruel + pander to racists + the ignorant

A please @labouruk.bsky.social, stop saying that it's up to us to stop Reform. YOU could stop a Reform government in 2029, by introducing the proportional representation so many in the country have been clamouring for. The only way Farage can win is through our crazy first-past-the-post system.

There are a lot reasons to be angry with Labour but for me this is the main one: they looked at the UK's vast resentment machine & said, yes we can make that work for us because we're the smart politics guys. They've failed miserably & in the process helped embed a punch-down ethos across the board.

Delivering the mail

I have an idea. With this whole hantavirus thing, why don't we overreact early, just a bit, and then we can calm down after it turns out it's fine?

A photo of me doing a reading probably in like 2005-ish? A bit low-res, sorry. Anyway, my latest newsletter is about how I'm both an extrovert and an introvert, and the extrovert/introvert dichotomy is fake. buttondown.com/charliejane/...

In six short paragraphs Chris Mason manages to predict "Reform’s advances" twice.

I'm your only war I'm not your only war But I'm a little glowing war But really I'm not actually your war But I am

Tried to photograph a crow in the garden using the zoom on my new phone and got a rather exciting action shot

Attenborough sits up in his armchair on Friday and casually tells his family he was the Zodiac killer as he blows his candles out.

Not sure about the strength of this line tbh

This is quite cathartic. Had to manually enter contacts as I hadn't stored on the SIM. So many old contacts I will never need again. A few that have died, and I couldn't bear to delete. Now just down to the bare basics needed. Refreshing.

Look what I got today. The nostalgia hit is actually unreal! Tech bros and AI shills can GTF. No bluetooth, no data, no wifi, just texts and calls.

"We realised that the #PWC26 hashtag was already taken and we just couldn't compete with that kind of social media clout", Gianini Panini lamented in a refreshingly unguarded press statement