Going to the work Christmas party and saying "more like woke Christmas party" jk I would never go to the work Christmas party

You should put some little diced up bits of potato in with the pasta when you cook it for pesto. It's delicious. It's also traditional if this has outraged you for some reason.

I do not understand the mentality of a person who does not upload a photo to this fucking app. There is at least a 75% chance of them being an utter prick as well.

This is ID cards. It has to be ID cards.

A commanding lead in the polls and still an air of utter desperation about them.

some useful context for this talk of GPs this morning: a friend who works in healthcare told me that a significant proportion of GPs are angry they weren’t good enough to specialise in any particular topic, and that resentment/frustration ends up directed at their patients.

I need to claim asylum in this embassy

As we’re seeing right now, liberal punditry is pathologically averse to acknowledging underlying material conditions and so it cannot be understood that Blair and Clinton were both products and beneficiaries of the post-Cold War boom where free market neoliberalism was in its ascendancy.

Alistair Campbell urges public to be 'more forgiving' of Pete Hegseth's war crimes-

Looks like everybody's favourite Tory said a load of bad stuff at private school too.

If you see this, repost this with your model of positive masculinity

It is comical how disliked Wes Streeting is by everyone other than Labour MPs and centrist journalists. I'm not sure even they actually like him, they just see him as "electoral dynamite" for reasons that are beyond the rest of us. Even a paper-thin win at the last election didn't change this.

anyone who has a moustache that needs waxing is trying to distract or dazzle you, and you should be doubly alert

It's probably funnier if they never give anybody else a fifa peace prize.

everybody should do a peace prize. i want to win the fray bentos peace prize.

i turned on the draw and there is a baseball man i've never heard of

you can tell a lot about any group by which of their own they defend and under what circumstances. these guys, for instance, do not appear to have a line.

they made this very quickly is my guess

anyway there is potentially a window in 2030 to watch a world cup that isn't a nightmare, but 2034 is already out

if i had very publicly wanted a nobel peace prize, and fifa invented a "fifa peace prize" just for me, just to make me feel better, i would be like joe pesci in goodfellas but instead of a clown it would be "do you think i am a literal baby"? then again, i am built very different to donald trump.

if you put feta in a little oven proof dish and bake it for a while it turns into a warm dip

i was serious about this but what has happened?

maybe all the media companies will buy each other until there is just one, and that will be destroyed by private equity, then we can finally be free of nostalgia and have new things

i once tried to watch fast and the furious tokyo drift because christopher nolan said it was brilliant and if i ever meet him he's going to hear about it and he won't like it

bored of sneezing bored of coughing

ahahahaha

This is going to end up being such a fight. It's going to kill people.

The only way the UK boycotts Eurovision is if Israel isn't allowed to compete.

I am STILL ILL and I am outraged.

I just keep thinking the internet was a mistake, at least people who aren't nerds being interested in it was.

Fresh dystopian hell from Samsung fridges with ads.

Hey Wes, I can save you the trouble. The reason a lot of people are struggling with their mental health in the UK is it fucking sucks here. Aside from usual late-stage capitalism stuff, everything that could be cool about living here has been systematically made worse by people like you, you cunt.

Using the ghoulish new tech bro betting website to set up a market on whether this will either be ignored or a Cass Report.

Spotify is trying to tell me that I listen to the rip by portishead too often, but that isn't actually possible because it is a staggering work of beauty

Why doesn’t Fast and Furious Present Hobbs & Shaw: Miami Meltdown Part III: Revengence feel as relevant as it used to?

You like one album from the early '90s and Spotify says you're in your fucking 50s. Prick app.

She does play the music from The Snowman at the 9 minute mark. You know the one. I'm walking in the air. I don't know whether that is elevator or tavern music.

I will not tell you what my top emoji was 🙏

My ball is quite big in everybody's ball charts which is nice to see. I'm not posting mine because the biggest balls are all now deleted accounts.

WI has been trans inclusive since the 1970s with no problems until some billionaires radicalised themselves online and decided to mess with people’s lives

This correct, and almost none of it is organically arising from the public. The relentless fear and hate of the last decade was deliberately imposed by opportunist politicians, toxic media outlets, crackpot activists and malignant squillionaires, working hand in hand towards similar goals.

I see a future where Pepsi Max is cheaper than water, but only in the UK, and years before the Water Wars. It's next year. Late next year.

Watching The X-Files because I am ill and not at work and it's really good. It holds up very well. Except when you get to an episode with computers because, as this was made in the '90s, you just start to see a load of magic.

Finally: proof that I am online

Listen to @bloodwork.show

Thames Water boss addressing shareholders on its half year profits of £400 million

If one of my pals said moaning minnies in the group chats they would never hear the end of it. Boomer assed phrase. Beano coded phrase.