"will europeans hate us even though we're smol beans who didn't vote for him" feels like a really narcissistic discourse even by our unbelievably highly narcissistic standards

It's very funny that Starmer sent Reeves to Davos instead of him. This is like calling in sick to work to avoid a difficult meeting. Even Donald Trump went.

Look I'm not going to use force to take Greenland but really you don't do anything for me. You don't give me anything. We're the hottest country right now and you don't give us anything. We are definitely going to negotiate on you giving me Greenland. You should really give me Greenland.

Bad day in the polls? Just say Putin. Just say they love Putin. Say they are on drugs.

POV you're sucking Kier off and he suddenly reverses Brexit

It is called spaghetti a la sultana and it is taking the World by storm

Anne Rice's husband was called Stan Rice.

This looks suspiciously like a ninja sword that I am being advertised

*gladiators music, with each person waving to the camera and smiling when they are mentioned* Donald Trump! Jared Kushner! Marco Rubio! Tony Blair! And! Vladimir Putin! Together they are! The! Board! Of! Peace!

Just change the bit about Venezuela for anything that is happening throughout the day.

Life is too short to let the blue wave reply to your Donald Trump criticisms.

Yougov poll on the UK's reaction to Reeves

This is going to be the worst year, one way or another.

I just wouldn't really read this report. It's devastating. That's why they hid it.

I'm doing too many jokes about the president shitting himself, but in my defence, no president in my lifetime has seemed more likely to shit himself at any moment. No other president went on WWE at all, let alone ending up with this

how are we already 10 years into january

I thought we were past pretending that the MP code of conduct mattered in any way whatsoever

Air force one has reported code diaper doo doo I repeat diaper doo doo please stand by on the runway ready to deploy the presidential power washer

Facebook reminds me that on this day in 2017 a woman turned to me in the veg section of Sainsbury's and said "hopefully now we've left the EU we can have loose carrots that aren't wet"

I don't know what's happened on air force one but I assume either he did a Logan Roy or he wrecked the toilet again.

the job was to read from the bit of paper

The only one who could ever reach me Was the son of a tool maker

Some things never change. The group chats are merciless on this.

American who can't believe they're the bad guys this time

President macron is wearing those glasses because he got an infection because he cannot stop texting on the toilet.

I had some big holiday plans this year but I think I might hold off booking it all for a little while you know. Shit gettin STUPID

PLAYING A BLINDER UPDATE

I am just saying that maybe the cabinet should look at seppuku. I am not saying they should do anything.

lunch time at davos and in the cafe one prime minister is not allowed to sit with anyone 😭

who up plannin 4 hypotheticals

imagine if special k hadn't rushed out his monday morning presser to reaffirm the uk's commitment to American Caligula and had waited only to the afternoon and seen how every other Mr Manager was responding. would it have changed what he said? probably not.

I have to come clean and admit that I used a chatbot a few years ago and I have just discovered that I have a cyberson named Pixel.

Why is David Beckham at Davos?

Holding my breath, please call an ambulance 🙏

Labour need to pwn some n00bz quickly or we will have a Reform government

In my job I prepare for as many hypotheticals as possible. I think I just naturally do that as a part of being alive. I think it would be stupid not to.

We shouldn't prepare for a hypothetical? I think what we should do is simply prepare for exactly the opposite of what labour claims will happen. By the time this is over it will no longer be sod's law, it will be Keir's law.

Saying the quiet part out loud, but the quiet part is the palantir neopanopticon and you are sounding hyped about it.

WHERE'S MY AUTISTIC BARBIE? (It was the Ken that talked about Stephen Malkmus in the Barbie film, that was my representation)

New Labour grandee opening an opinion piece in The Guardian with a flagrant, brazen, unequivocal lie

The meal deal: sure I eat them, but I'd eat the food in prison too. I would not prostrate myself in thanks to a government that made them cheaper.

Good morning to everyone except James Somerton, who I have randomly remembered. That piece of shit can have a bad morning!

oh fuck i should have been asleep ages ago

What if an asteroid hit davos

I said Charlie Kirk on X the everything app and I got 1 million Rhodesian flags, but I say it here and I don't even break 200 🤣 this is unsustainable

Blocked by the worst poster I have seen in quite some time and I am saying this on on the blue sky app