ME: Hi, I'm back. DR. ROBBY: This is Mike. He's in every week with a new penis injury. ME: No, just a stomach ache today. I think I ate some bad shrimp. RESIDENT: There's blood pouring down his pant leg. ME: That's not my penis. I have an open Ziploc bag of blood in my pocket. DR. ROBBY: Pants him.

This bar has EVERYTHING! A 99:1 man-to-woman ratio, a damp smell, a smooth jazz trio led by your uncle who can't park near a school, ennui, no cable, and a gaping suckhole where the soul usually goes.

Been there brother

Shoutout to that jazz band getting paid tho

zohran: good morning rama my wife rama: hello mamdani

Luanne here has HAD IT www.newschannel5.com/news/state/t...

The only statue to a pest is in Enterprise, Alabama: the Boll Weevil Monument In 1915, the boll weevil wiped out their cotton crop, facing ruin, the farmers switched to mixed crops including peanuts and were shocked when they made more money. They erected a monument to the bug.

commodities traders: fenrir howls rabid at the gate. we are reskilling to become cannibals. science, knowledge - all soon gone. will our children even know how to make fire? if so then by its light in the ruins they will weep and curse us as demons me: gruk,, is this true??

Three Cicadas - 1889 https://botfrens.com/collections/46/contents/14687

A viral video about a man named Solomon Fairfax, who earned the nickname the "Grim Reaper" of Charleston after spending years killing slaveholders, has hundreds of thousands of likes and shares. There’s just one problem: Solomon Fairfax doesn't exist

it's cool how so many genuinely talented and thoughtful disaster specialists are unemployed or underemployed right now, but the teleported-to-waffle-house guy has a big fancy job the core narrative of this moment is "competence is actively punished."

Right now the center of the Sun's disk is crossing the celestial equator moving northward, which means it's the March equinox!

I have said this before and will say it here: if, for God knows whatever reason, you have not seen this clip before, you may think you are ready for what occurs but you are not youtu.be/K2_SvX4PEbU?...

RIP to a real one. Chuck Norris told it like it was.

Notifications on for the eventual news

yeah

classic hubert tourney performance incoming

Lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol www.newsobserver.com/news/politic...

in 2040 Duke's starting lineup will be two of Mason Plumlee's sons, two of Miles Plumlee's sons, and one of Marshall Plumlee's sons

me watching Duke and Siena right now

She’s annoyed

Sometimes the YT algo nails you www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9ar...

Once it warms up consistently I’ll dust off the truck restore thread, pictured here being pulled from ignominy

Michael will make a shitton of money and it still feels like a movie that someone was like "damn, he really does look like his uncle" and worked backwards from there

I was in Philly yesterday and two people told me they were so annoyed by these things hogging the sidewalk they'd gone out of their way to kick them

mill's dedication: this is a jointly authored work a century & a half of male editors: mill exaggerated out of a sentimental fondness for his wife mill's letters: no, really, most of "my" work was partly by her, i really could not be clearer on this

lmao a wizard popped in to judge me

This goes back to my favorite Hobby Horse: in Tolkien, the fear of death is the root cause of most humans’ turns to evil. Númenor fell when even the extra long lives given to them wasn’t enough. The ringwriaths were kings who chose Not Dying over actually Living.

We should send Taffer to this

Y’all please be on the lookout… this is fake

NEW: North Oaks, Minnesota is the only city in the US that is not on Google Maps Street View. "“It’s known by Minnesotans as a place where executives and CEOs live,” Parr told 404 Media. “Famously Walter Mondale is from North Oaks, but also like United Healthcare executives and Target executives.”

"Children at a primary school in eastern France found a strange new attraction next to their playground this week: a skeleton sitting upright, peeking out the top of a circular pit." gnarly www.cbsnews.com/news/mysteri...

Good morning

lmao

COLONEL: we need you back, for just one more take ME (chopping wood): no can do. i'm out of the capeshit game. i can't go back to that life COLONEL: but they're adapting brand new day- ME (lodging axe in wood): if spider-man wants to erase his life for no good reason thats his business

Ok so the cops just randomly showed up to his house and fucked up his shit right? Like that's a slam dunk

20 billion dollars a year for the league lol

I think I’d last halfway through “do you believe in magic”

Nation Demands More Jobs Where You Steer Ship With Big Wooden Wheel https://theonion.com/nation-demands-more-jobs-where-you-steer-ship-with-big-1851177876/

shoutout to the getty photographer who prepared for a WNBA lockout with this stock photoshoot. the only downside of labor peace is that we have no use for these beautiful images

Rand Paul, volume shooter, is absolutely dead-ass right about something more often than almost any other 21st-century Republican has been. Still a terrible player. Hoisting up bricks left and right. But he does splash one now and then.

they literally renamed the entire company after this