you there, boy! what day is this?

Doctors should have to tell you in advance if your appointment is a Pee In A Cup appointment or not.

Had a dream I found a live snake in the bottom of a pint of ice cream that I was eating so that’s sort of put me off the concept of sleeping for a bit. (It has not put me off from ice cream.)

I am a woman who joined the Let’s Rethink Chicks Having The Right To Vote Party and I am concerned they do not take me completely seriously, somebody please help me

*laughs in "former community content moderator" voice* like what the fuck is this even

hey internet friends I am getting my act together to send holiday cards (pictures of my cats), if you'd like one, fill out this form, yes i'll send internationally, no I don't expect a card back so i'll send you one even if you're not doing cards. forms.gle/UiGZ3cVibRTK...

people, you have the chance to put my book ahead of Olivia Nuzzi’s on the bestseller list. put aside all other considerations and think how objectively funny this would be. #1, that Mountain Goats guy. #2, Antivax Man Has My Heart. funniest list of the century. We can do this if we try

This Pluribus ad on a fridge caused a schizophrenic woman named Carol to be hospitalized.

hey internet friends I am getting my act together to send holiday cards (pictures of my cats), if you'd like one, fill out this form, yes i'll send internationally, no I don't expect a card back so i'll send you one even if you're not doing cards. forms.gle/UiGZ3cVibRTK...

Inbound Santa Wednesday commute 🎅🚋 CTA Holiday Train, approaching Merchandise Mart at 2x speed

okay I have travel credits with Southwest that apparently expire in February, start making your case now for a location I should visit for like a quick long weekend or something, ideally in January over MLK Day so I don't have to take time off.

This should be required reading for anyone who manages people (or who coaches/advises people managers).

Out: having children so they'll take care of you in old age In: having children so they'll shovel out your car before you're even retirement-aged (does anyone have a child I can borrow soon)

Critics everywhere are raving about ham net

setting a bad precedent by allowing the cats to play with a ball of yarn that they just dug up but they're both having so much fun

LONG RAMBLING EMOTIONAL THREAD: It's World AIDS Day. Since the Administration has decided to keep it quiet, I'd like to share my introduction to AIDS. I grew up in Seattle. My mom remarried a man who had a brother who was a King County Sheriff's Deputy. His name was Terry and he was gay. 1/x

pretty remarkable that Costco has more of a spine in fighting for the rule of law than many major universities and fancy law firms

Found the best thing on Hulu and it's just 20 minutes of kittens dressed up in holiday attire, romping around a room: www.hulu.com/series/a-ver...

Making me go to work after a holiday and also while we are having weather should quite frankly be unconstitutional

This is why non-romance people need to read more romance, honestly: will-they-won’t-they is fine but it is not the same narrative as “they did and then they did again and then they keep going but eventually someone’s gonna find out and then they’re REALLY fucked.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the Music Box house organist, Mr. Dennis Scott🎶🎶 www.timeout.com/chicago/thin...

I have nothing against you or your regional culture but there is an unbreakable spiritual bond between anyone who has ever had to scrape ice off a windshield while hungover

Deeply confused by the woman next to me at Hamnet who walked in an hour late, then also proceeded to get up during one of the more emotional scenes to go get snacks. Like, girl, did you walk into the wrong theater and then just decided to commit anyway?

I know it's juvenile every time but couldn't they just tweak the phrasing a little

A rare moment of a Republican genuinely giving a damn.

Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread

hey "nice" zucchetto haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is the Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of Peter the Prince of the Apostles, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God.] oh fuck

The year is 2025 and I just ordered a bread box so I can stop storing baked goods in the microwave to keep the cat from gnawing through them

Don't worry, if you go to Northwestern, you can "choose to identify" as trans, you just can't live or use the bathroom there

True Life: I Parked On The Street To Avoid The Trader Joe's Parking Lot

St. Patrick's Day is for when you want to be annoyed by kids from Schaumburg that can't handle their liquor. Christkindlmarkt is for when you want to be annoyed by their parents.

"harmonizing demonically" is the best caption description that I've seen in ages (I am months late to watching this lmao)

truth coming out of her well to shame humanity

Wake Up Dead Man is a great watch but especially worth it if you'd like to experience Josh O'Connor playing a Priest With A Past who at one point says the phrase "young, dumb, and full of Christ", a+ no notes

Looking for past Garfield Macy's balloons. Found a new reaction image

Holy smokes. Just realized tomorrow, Alloy will publish its hundredth post. We made the site to see if we could make a site that doesn't make you feel bad and exhausted. We're proud of it, you should look at it if you haven't yet. alloymag.com

nose down ass up that's the way we cyberstuck

Evergreen

Just a gentle reminder that holidays should not be stressful and you get to ensure and protect your joy however you need.

Love picking up a whole bunch of baked goods and just going along with the illusion that I will be sharing them with family, no sir this whole pie is for me, no shame.

Disappointed by the complete lack of instructions in this book on how to knit a penguin

Someone stole the outside

would be like watching sluggish mice being fed to enormous healthy science classroom snake

I'm 40 years old, please don't make me "discuss in a breakout room".

I've had a few of these lately. A friend and mentor who was hugely important to me in college who made himself impossible to track down in recent years. A relative of an ex who I was super close with right until that relationship ended. This really hits hard at that off kilter feeling of knowing.

The United Center simply gets too much of my money on an annual basis to continue to have such shitty restrooms on the 300 level.

Yesterday my partner and I counted all the ads along Chicago's Brown Line for "Friend," a company selling an AI chatbot pendant, and tallied how many of those ads were defaced. Still working on a longer piece on this, but here's the quick and dirty: we counted 104 "Friend" ads total, 42 defaced.

Terumaru, a bright young lightbulb and the mascot of the Tokyu Denki electric company, trapped in a door yesterday:

Chicago pals, if you're able to scrounge up a ticket to a performance of Jekyll & Hyde, playing at the Chopin, you should do it. It leans into the camp of the original '90s musical, while also pushing real hard on the bawdy cabaret aspect.