That motherfucker. That fucking motherfucker just bombed Venezuela. Fuck.

Bedtime thoughts: Do you think Putin has ever heard “Orinoco Flow”? Do you think he thought “fuck yes this song rules”

Who dat? It just my Vatty Daddy The illest to ever inhabit Vatican City The big daddy who is the least shitty

“With secret service detail” What did he think was going to happen at Cocoa Cinnamon? Mean foam art?

I can’t explain it but this is a bespoke and artisanal flavor of exceptionally annoying that only comes from the PNW

The reason that some men think AI can “apologize” is because they don’t see actually feeling sorry they did the thing in the first place as important. Pay attention to who is telling on themselves here.

Weeo is seemingly in a growth spurt and has a lot of feelings and tearfulness. Had a rough moment just now and after calming him and assuring him he can tell me anything at all, after a moment he says very softly “Mommy?” “Yes, love?” “Sometimes my poops are juicy”

You honkies are accusing that man of being a communist because he used the term “collectivism” positively? Jesus.

Could have just asked Mumford & Sons and come up with the same result

“Tell me something about yourself” “I’m a bitch”

“There was something wrong with those people. AI could never get me to kill anyone, especially myself.” Kyle I have seen photos of you with popped collars and puka shell necklaces so I’d like to posit that you’re *far* more influenced by know-nothing voices than you think

Hard times make you funny 2025 made me fucking HILARIOUS

One fun thing about my brain is that for years and years the very second I wake up I hear Shania Twain in my brain say, “Let’s go, girls”

Someone said about athletes “there’s no way someone could not know they had a genetic abnormality regarding their sex chromosomes” and my brother in gas station Nachos most Americans don’t know their blood type please be serious right now

Yesterday I read that the White House has now done 30 strikes on Venezuelan boats and felt absolutely sick

I hope that Eric Adams decides to go on Cameo

Oh, nope, I was actually wrong. The maddest people got at me this year was when they tried to say Al Franken was wronged and lol, no. The fuck he was.

2026's mantra is more spaghetti less upsetti

It comes from a place of immense privilege to have the opportunity to be an informed voter and not inform yourself, which is true of many if not most of the voters you are oddly making excuses for.

Billy Ocean Colour Scene Buffalo Tom Waits Jurassic 5 for Fighting Concrete Blonde Redhead

“New remix just dropped” but it’s a fucking flu variant

I said Newsom sucks and I will never vote for him I said bulldozing homeless encampments is bad, actually I said drug use happens as much in the suburbs as on the streets I said if you’re bothered that sex work happens in hotels don’t own a hotel

Breaking news: a Newsom supporter says I am what’s wrong with America, immediately blocks However will I get through this difficulty.

“They don’t let local people stay in hotels because they might be ‘prostitutes’ or drug users”

This is so true and when asking why people like Epstein and Diddy and r Kelly get away with things for so long, much of it is the prevailing attitude towards sex work, as if there is no difference between a sex worker with agency and a trafficking victim, or that sex workers are asking to be victims

Man, some of your attitudes about sex work are regressive and a lot of you should be embarrassed to have them.

This hateful woman I was responding to blocked me but not before I saw that her profile is full of Bible verses. Someone direct her to Proverbs 14:31 please.

You want to understand why people join ICE? Because they’re bad people who enjoy causing emotional and physical pain to people they deem below them. “Psychic pain?” For God’s sake. 99% of them will only regret not having fucked more shit up or locking up more people.

Bigot Bardot

When my dad was on the jury of a quite long court case he and the rest of the jury were sequestered while deliberations were ongoing in a local hotel

We give little thought to the mental health of social workers, therapists, teachers, librarians, healthcare workers, chaplains… So forgive me the mental health of fucking ICE agents doesn’t rank for me or keep me awake at night.

What bothers me is that if a woman was married to a horrific domestic abuser who physically hurt her repeatedly who died in a way having nothing to do with her - if she was doing a tenth of what Erika Kirk is doing the people supporting Kirk would threaten her life

Bridget Bardot was a terrible human being and I’m not going to pretend otherwise just because she was pretty and liked animals

I don’t want to brag but I just won stuffie ball twice in a row (where we find all the stuffies and play basketball from 5 feet away with the pack and play as the “hoop”)

But I can’t be on the spectrum… I have flat ass-fect

Should I buy bofa deez nutz on Facebook Marketplace y/n

Another way that being homeless is criminalized. You can land on the registry for “indecent exposure” for urinating outdoors, which is the only option when commerce is required to use a restroom at every single business within walking distance

“Do you know that you can block (odious guy who harasses a woman on here)” Do you know you can call out his weird harassment of a woman?

My friend got a Pilates reformer for Christmas. When I asked if she named it Luther or Zwingli she didn’t get it.

From Facebook

I’m sure there’s research on this but economics aside I think we stopped hanging out in person as much once social media took off and our normie friends were on it, too. Recency bias makes it feel like we just were “with” them when it’s been years with people we used to see regularly.

The pundit in question here I doubt would react as annoyingly if the candidate in question weren’t a woman and if the mutual aid in question weren’t tampons but this is just my opinion

Is there any accurate data on under-25s that check their mail? The ones I know - don’t - so it makes me chuckle that political candidates still do mailers in their zip codes

“We shouldn’t have to give out ____ - the government should do that.” Good point, Dave. In the meantime let’s just do nothing at all, then. Excellent plan.

I would listen to toddlers make up stories as they go on a podcast. Otherwise I’m completely over the medium at this point.

I have a kid. Spontaneity is ice cream for dinner. Not leaving the house at night.

Even if you don’t commit DV, if - no matter your gender - your mood is altered for hours following a televised game depending on who wins and loses, I think you need to not watch that shit. That’s outrageous and I’m sick of culturally pretending otherwise.

I’ll talk a lot of shit to any number of people but you’ll never catch me policing the spelling of a cat account on social media. Look at your life. Look at your choices. What the fuck are you doing. It’s whimsy, bitch.

Love it when your friends try to support your hobbies to be supportive. You end up getting messages like “hey a guy from that band you like died. The Cure?” RIP Perry Bamonte of The Cure, and my resting heart rate