A wild-eyed Christopher Lloyd explaining that the only way to close the inter-dimensional wormhole from the Cubs winning the World Series is to play another World Series in the "null hour" when clocks are turned back.

bases loaded one out for both teams in consecutive half innings no runs this game has lost its god damn mind

Dear Macy's, It's Halloween for another hour yet. Cool your jets on the Christmas commercials.

evidence description of the day: DNA swab of revolver gun

current earworm: Inspector Gadget

gd save me from the idiots I work with.

why does subscapularis have to be such a whiny baby diva?

1 locus, 14 peaks

someone text captain ian the score. I bet his phone isn't on airplane mode.

if the cubs manage to win the world series this year, will that close the hellmouth they opened in 2016?

5g update in progress

....I shouldn't need 2 YouTube videos and and Instagram reel to figure out how to open this pump bottle.

today's insult to coffee: a spoon of instant + 3 spoons of international delight.

happy, healthy, peaceful, new year, y'all. maybe this year will be better than the last.

“Whoever designed the human visual system has a lot to answer for. Maybe not as much as the knee team, or the lower back group, but a lot.” - @kjhealy.co , making me shoot my afternoon coffee out my nose.

I want to know who at the Tim Hortons corporate office said "You know what this famously Canadian chain needs? More outdoor seating."

for @rahaeli.bsky.social

toenail in a Doritos bag is my next band name.

You breastfeed ONE bat and suddenly it’s a crisis! 😵

am I misremembering, or was there a time when those frisky teenaged wizards used a contraceptive ~spell called "fetus deletus"?

reposting this for @benwolfevision.bsky.social

you just don't get that many missionaries among root vegetables. @tkingfisher.com, you're killing me (in a good way)

@tkingfisher.com 2 chapters in and I've already cackled several times. i trust the remaining chapters will continue in this vein.

Glory unto the Shitty Nostradamus!

happy 18 years working for the same employer to me.

for my next trick, I will put my phone down and sleep.

also someone is eating pistachios and I might need to scream.

the electrician was supposed to be here at 8:30 for a final inspection. it's now 10:10. taking bets on when they'll actually show up.

The amount of work some people will do to avoid doing work is truly, truly staggering.

Rincewind is there to remind us that actually great and heroic adventures are terrifying and awful most of the time better to hang out at home, where it is quiet and nothing is trying to kill you if you’re really lucky maybe you’ll have a potato

no thank you

y'all are 2 weeks early for the fireworks

insomnia as a premenstrual symptom can go away.

I am fed, I am showered, I am in clean house clothes, and I am ready to rot on the couch and/or bed for the remainder of the weekend

dammit Jim, I'm a biologist, not an IT specialist

_gay_ pride month. not _goy_ pride month. #outofcontexttheatre

my great-great-grandmother

the clusterfuckening continues. I will not be taking questions at this time.

gunshots or thunder? just another Friday at the lab.

@fybush.com are you at the amerks game or did I see your doppelganger?

If Pete Rose is posthumously eligible for Cooperstown, Rosalind Franklin should be posthumously eligible for a Nobel

A woman (70s?) is pushing along a tiny human (2?) in a trolley in front of a supermarket. Tiny human asks with a giggle: "Am I your shopping?!" Gran says: "YES! You're my shopping. What noise does shopping make?" Her shopping begins to make some very curious quacking noises. (5)

Benadryl party in my office. in 15 minutes we'll know why we feel like shit.

anyone know visual basic and can help me for a minute or twelve?

after like 26 hours I am home and showered and falling over now thx

apparently the solution to not oversleeping is to ... not sleep. good job brain.

a Nationals game on tv here when they're *not* playing the Mets. it must be my lucky day 😁

I’m off to go find something to do in pre-amp. Bleach: preventing both DNA contamination *and* doomscrolling since 1785.