It’d be nice if I could get a push notification when everyone’s done talking about that guy.

Never gets old:

How I feel about political candidates

Again, it’s OK to treat politics like sports, but you HAVE to act like an Eagles fan.

say what you will about nazi germany at least they only had one nazi party

during the dark ages there was probably some guy who was always like "we should really etch some things in stone". brother give it a rest that's not how we roll in the dark ages.

@SouthwestAirlines The pilot on my flight shouted “crumb time” and crawled down the entire airplane cabin on his belly like a snake licking everyone’s pretzel crumbs off the floor

Did not have “that’s German for ‘the bart the’” ranked as a Simpsons prediction

If you’re a troop or small business owner you can maybe grow to develop decent politics but you can never be entrusted to hold office

Groverhaus President

pretty much the best comic about the New Web I've ever seen

sorry i can’t tonight i have to calculate the area under a curve like i spent 4 years of high school preparing to do

Got a big election coming up, gonna wear my trusty Hillary Clinton jersey

the only jobs in the future are investigator, thief, investigator-thief (bounty hunters/gunslingers), mechanic-pilot, and courtesan

Spelling Bee Buddy is down, total societal collapse is immanent

A rare benefit we may get out of this LLM hell is that higher education may be forced to focus its assignments away from soul-crushing busywork and into things that actually promote and demonstrate learning.

(watching a bourgeois liberal presidential system collapse into fascism due to the inherent deficiencies of bourgeois liberal presidential systems) what are we, a bunch of MONARCHISTS?

united states president donald john trump has shot himself

No kings except Kaki King

many kings did not, historically, have the kind of powers Trump is claiming! wars were often fought over it! the English literally beheaded a king over the balance of power between the king and parliament! a king would, in some ways, be an improvement over what he's trying to do

Flacco and Rodgers combined are old enough to run for the Senate

Gonna become a big Right to Repair guy since my current laptop is going to have to last until I die.

Happy birthday Oscar Wilde. - do yourself a favor and read his rambling essay on how a chief benefit of socialism is that we get art made by not rich people www.marxists.org/reference/ar...

We’ll call him James C. No wait that’s too obvious, let’s just say J. Cameron

just made my sign for the no kings rally what do you think?

[hot chocolate “you sexy thing” voice]

Previous shutdowns were ended by constituent pressure and lawmakers striking deals, but I dunno about this one. There probably won’t be elections and any budget “deal” you make can be ignored by the President, who controls all spending. I think this is just probably the end of Congress.

yeah like after 9/11 we weren't like "okay touché mr. bin laden, now you get to choose our president"

I'm thinking about getting a 3D printer but I know that right after I get it they're going to come out with a 4D one

Before you make a "young republicans weren't this racist when I was in college" post, look up one of them on facebook and check out their latest posts. You might be in for a surprise!

If you didn't know republicans were racists in the 1990s, that's because from your POV they were at an acceptable level of racist. There was enough breathing room for you to maybe deny it in public. But yeah, today they just have swastikas hanging up in the office, that's harder to deny, fair enough

overwhelmingly, the thing that motivates a young person to become a movement conservative is racism, specifically anti black racism. the conservative movement does care about other things, but racial animus has been the primary motivating factor for entry into the movement for decades.

just had to turn mine off as it is completely and utterly unusable now

Gonna start carrying around a suicide pill just in case the government tries to tie me to a chair and read this to me

The more I look at this chart the more it amazes me.

Is there a Mister Doctor Jill Biden?

everyone needs to internalize that this is just how all republicans are and when nancy pelosi said "the country needs a strong republican party" she meant that more people like this should be powerful. they are all like this! they all think just like this and like trump and they love it and it's fun

Perhaps instead of Columbus Day we can celebrate Columbian Exchange Day where we celebrate the food pairings that had never been possible before, peppers and onions, chocolate and coffee, basil and tomatoes.

Watching people being brutalized by the state, secure in the knowledge that I'm safe because I don't do anything wrong. And the best part? The state can't suddenly and arbitrarily redefine what "wrong" means

If you thought he was making that, you're lying.

Zero point zero percent chance the Bears win this one

This is why the need to institute the Outfield Fly Rule

dawg we gotta come up with a better name than indigenous peoples day

Yeah this is like saying “how come these offensive linemen are content to let the running back score all the touchdowns while they only get to block?”

I don’t like the automatic intentional walk rule. You should have to throw 4 pitches while the whole crowd boos, or alternatively recite a short poem about being too scared to pitch to a guy