Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

GOOFS: I heard Trump was going to "cure autism" and the first thing that popped into my mind was "we're getting nationwide high-speed rail?"

Happy New Year, for those who observe.

I suppose one positive of the last week or so is that Charlie Kirk hasn't weighed in

we have gone from a world in which we were told not to cite wikipedia because it was unreliable to a world where wikipedia might be the only reliable source left on the internet and we all owe a lot to the pedantic nerds who got us there

Both broadcast reactions to the best replay angle of Jacob Young's kick catch

FUCK IT!!!!! TIMELINE CLEANSE!!!!! ROLL THE CLIP!!!!!!

People on JesusTok: "THE RAPTURE'S HAPPENING ON TUESDAY!" Me: "Are they gonna play 'It Takes Time to Be A Man'?"

Nic and I really hate to have to do this, but we are at a point where we're going to need some help with covering some of the costs of our move that we thought were covered but we turned out to have underestimated our initial needs because of how long it took to get us both out of the States.

What Charlie Kirk and Jesus have in common is that American Christofascists absolutely hate it when you quote them directly.

My favorite sign of the night.

Kiri Te Kanawa

Democrats seeing this: “nah”

SFW a band Anal C*nt

ICE recruitment ad during the ballgame; wasn't really paying attention the first time but when they ran it again the pitch was literally "Are you too racist to be a cop? Have we got an offer for you!"

In the 2010s, this country's elites were thrown onto social platforms with everyone else and could finally read what we all think about them and it caused them so much psychic damage that they decided to destroy both the internet and democracy to make sure nothing like it ever happened again.

This is the biggest attack on free speech since the McCarthy era but it also has significantly less popular consensus behind it than the second Red Scare. It's being done on behalf of a minority faction led by the most unpopular president in modern history. Organizing against this can win.

In October on The Channel there will be a whole lot of Hong Kong

you can just listen to orinoco flow any time you want, no one is stopping you.

It's nice that naivete levels have dropped to the point where we aren't constantly being asked to hand it to the smarter Nazis when they distance themselves from the dumber Nazis, keep up the good work

Yanks vindicating one of my crackpot "don't ever tell me the odds" theories: if you have two home run hitters and five or six doubles hitters in your lineup you have a better, more consistent offense than if you have seven or eight feast-or-famine home run gloryboys

Fallon being the last man standing is such an indictment of Fallon

It's counterintuitive, being an apparent reversal of the natural order, but there's an Ezra Wolf out there with actually good analysis and takes. We need to track him down.

The two greatest sins in politics are predicting the future and remembering the past

You want to be alive, but they want you dead. We’re a new, well, funded democratic group that thinks you can meet them halfway.

Shohei Ohtani’s 5 no-hit innings and 2-for-5 with his 50th HR in a loss might be the most Tungsten Arm O'Doyle shit of all time

It's always a bit jarring when I'm birdwatching and I spot a bird with tiny binoculars staring right at me crossing "big nerd" off his list.

there is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men

At the risk of minimizing his artistic and political accomplishments, the Redford thing I keep coming back to is the idea of losing work because you were too hot to be plausible in a role

If someone’s not mourning the death of Robert Redford in a manner that’s consistent with your views, make sure you set up a database, call their employer, and get them fired.

RIP

RIP Robert Redford

live your life so that when you die everyone talks about how hot you were and not how you were a hateful bigot

Three Days of the Condor/Sneakers double feature incoming, RIP to the god

1. A cold beer on a hot day 2. The scene in the movie where one guy says "You got the money?" and the other guy says "You got the stuff?" 3. Having written 4. Diagnosing/fixing some household thing when you're bad at that and don't know what tools are called 5. A good night's sleep

Dude is turning into Anthony Michael Hall's bluesman character

The disappearance of faces in Hollywood is so depressing to me as someone whose life revolves largely around films - I need faces in my films, I need big, weird, old, asymmetrical, beautiful, expressive, uniquely imperfect faces

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

Tonight's how-the-fuck-is-this-the-first-time-I've-seen-this is HUDSON HAWKE

They’re calling it “the polar opposite of a ‘must read’”

And now to watch my favorite white collar crime cartel with a football team attached to it.

I’ll tell you what we’ve lost, as a society, and that’s erotic thrillers.

Yes, sir.

NW: Miami Blues (1990), first time, lfg

Weirdly soothing to realize that I would have lost any media job I ever coveted this week.

heartbreaking that Charlie Kirk is no longer around, he would have truly loved spreading weaponized misinformation about the death of Charlie Kirk

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know