I’ve had it stuck in my head ever since posting this—neither the racist nor the sanitized version but a jingle for Murphy’s Oil Soap

So we’ve managed to infiltrate an armed assassin into the United Nations. There’s only one problem. Donald Trump moves too fast

I never turn sound on for these clips so I’m going to choose to believe that he says “bébé” like Moira Rose

It will be another few years before AI masters some of the advanced intricacies of human thought and expression, such as “plurals”

I don’t know how well Paramount+ is doing but they sure want to give it to me free every time I order some bagels

FUDD: Be vewy quiet, I’m demonstwating depwaved indiffewence

Mine all involve double letters: occurrence, sheriff, commitment

I looked up “humblebrag” in the dictionary and there was just a picture of this Facebook group

I literally cannot remember the name of the series THE CAPTURE. Had to go look it up just now in order to post this

5 hours of Replit: $500 Debugging: $69 The intuition that when something’s churning for hours it’s not “very promising“ but rather “stuck somewhere and will never complete”: priceless

ATgregator

Still somehow online (thanks @mikecolton.bsky.social @johnaboud.com), my contribution to the “post-9/11 humor” genre www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0110/forw...

Adventures in modern pedagogy: nobody in my kid’s 8th grade Social Studies class can do their homework because the school forgot to renew the license for the homework SaaS platform

Mamdani may be ahead, but if Cuomo can just focus on the issues where voters trust him more… hang on, being told there are no such issues

The only thing I ever really liked about Bill Clinton was how much the right hated him, in which capacity he can continue to serve if he goes down with the Epstein ship, so have at him

One interesting aspect of this sort of deterioration is that for cloud/web-based software, you can no longer simply open the old version to confirm a suspicion like “I swear this worked a year ago”

Hot take: FAANG is dumb, MAGMA is much better * FAANG only existed because Jim Cramer needed a catchy acronym * Netflix never belonged, only there for the acronym * Microsoft does belong * Facebook is now Meta [but Google is not Alphabet, lbh] Stop saying FAANG!

Is it possible that they want to cook the numbers but there’s not really a mechanism for doing it, so we just keep getting uncooked (bad) numbers and he keeps firing people?

At least one party to this relationship has been increasingly unpredictable and dangerous, yes www.nytimes.com/2025/09/05/u...

Unfortunately public health is unlike most other domains in that a small but sufficient number of kooks (i.e. vaccine refusers) can break the system for everyone

I don’t think this is a great way to keep your valuables safe

What if in fact I’m interested in a show literally titled “Killing It” and wondering if there will be a third season? (Spoiler: there will not.)

Is it just me or is “please see your jeweler” incredibly funny

🎵Ditching the seed oils For Trump-guaranteed oils We’re frying in tallow now 🎵

That’s right

When Rudy brought rudy.coffee to market last year I became intrigued by his delivery of one word in the ad read

Heck of an email

Thread of AI Overview fun:

This just isn’t what “recast” means but ok

Bluesky rethinks “Quote Post” feature after same Tim Robinson joke made 18,000 times

She went by Starface until Wrestlemania 39

I fear you may have misinterpreted my activity

Can billionaires suffer? Tantalizing questions emerge

I call pigs in a blanket by their fancy French name, “flics couverts”

It’s more of a trolley opportunity

I wonder if there’s an anti-Velvet Underground whose album only sold a few thousand copies, but everyone who bought it decided never to start a band

Discourse about AI would be significantly improved if we agreed to refer to it as “The Contraption”

By the way, if you’re wondering why Bluesky can effectively block Mississippi, you have online gambling to thank. In the pantheon of “vice-driven technological advancement,” porn : e-commerce :: gambling : geolocation

Hot take: an edit feature is bad, it was bad that Twitter added it, and it would have been seen to be detrimental to Twitter if Twitter had not been ruined for other reasons around the same time

Presumably this is because at some point we made a donation from “The Shay Family” but I’m going to start referring to myself this way

Well there you have it folks

Isotopes win a game!

lol

Every time these weirdos come up I feel compelled to point out how funny it is that the intended master race has such bad vision. As a glasses wearer since age 5 I recommend you breed that shit out if you’re going to do eugenics

“Let’s be honest, who cares about international relations, really?” —Secretary of State

If Al Jazeera made a trivial rebrand to AI Jazeera (that’s a capital “I”) it would instantly be loved, funded, and defended by Silicon Valley

Personally, I always enjoy watching them, despite the sharpness

COME TO COSTCO ALAN

Always love to see what Zach Pepper is cooking up

Pretty sure they actually spell it “Club” for somewhat obvious reasons www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/lov...