How to Join ICE theonion.com/how-to-join-...

ME: you should sell armor that doesnt rend FINAL FANTASY TACTICS ARMOR VENDOR: what you see is what i got pal

Day 63 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

Donald Trump would never attempt to kill his own VP (please do not fact check me).

Stay woke friends

We gotta do a nationwide inquest into antisocial behavior. Leaving your dog's poop on the street. Not returning shopping carts. The What's Wrong With You initiative

Day 62 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

YOU NEED TO START OFF POSTS LIKE THIS BY SAYING THE PERSON IS ALIVE AND OK

What I don't have in experience, I make up for in integrity. And what Andrew Cuomo lacks in integrity, he could never make up for with experience.

Queer and trans immigrants allege forced labor and sexual assault in Ice facility: ‘I was treated worse than an animal’ www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

People logging back into Bluesky for the first time in a year

right winger identifying fascism

Day 52 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

Conservative Justices: parents have total rights to know their children's gender identity and any school which interferes with their desire to police and control such identity violates the Constitution. Also, it's completely cool if States make it illegal for a parent to give gender-affirming care.

mtg in 1997: this card is selenia, a guardian angel from the heavenly realm of serra. twisted by the phyrexians, she drove crovax of urborg insane with unrequited love mtg in 2025: this card is spongebob. from spongebob squarepants mtg in 2035: we ran out of ideas. this card is your coworker jeff

Hi, I’d like to order a custom hoodie in a camo pattern of Christmas colors and then I’d like a big Punisher skull with Trump hair sticking out from under a Santa hat. And this is VERY IMPORTANT, on the arm I want a patch that says K$H and “FIGHT WITH KASH” underneath. My name is Kash. Yes I’ll hold

In my opinion it’s time to retire the Nobel prizes for fields where most of the important discoveries have already been made, like physics, and add prizes for newer fields where substantial innovations occur every year, like speedrunning

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking? Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

Israel Agrees To Go Back To Killing Palestinians On Less Frequent Basis

here's some crimes you can be tough on: corruption

it did not for one second occur to me that democrats are afraid to speak out about the troops invading our cities because they're worried it's a trap to make them look soft on crime. do these guys have working brains

The most important political thread of our time.

Day 47 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

“Conversion therapy” is a euphemism for child abuse, and every mainstream medical and mental health organization has rejected this practice for decades. There is no evidence that it does anything besides harm children. It is one of the few subjects where there is an overwhelming medical consensus.

"Democratic strongholds" in this militaristic context makes it sound like we're terrorists or insurrections or warlords. I cannot express how angry I am at American journalism for enabling this moment.

Dunno man, seems a little misleading to write an article about Trump describing activity in Portland and Chicago as “insurrection” with a 33 year old photo of a burning donut shop taken in the 1992 LA Riots (sans caption explaining that) as the header on all your posts about it.

Today’s Daily Cartoon, by Adam Douglas Thompson. #NewYorkerCartoons Sign up for our humor newsletter to get Daily Cartoons delivered to your inbox: nyer.cm/0EivDaD

Watch ICE illegally arrested Chicago Alderman Jessie Fuentes inside a hospital emergency room—simply for asking them to show a warrant for a man they detained.

KIYAC — the Kat for Illinois Youth Advisory Council — is putting on its first campaign event! Come get a free car wash, drop off your winter clothes, and pick up a yard sign at Double Clutch Brewing Company in Evanston til 10:30!

Try to think of a single difference between the death of George Floyd and the death of Charlie Kirk, you can’t

Authoritarians using an ostensible terrorist act to rapidly enact their agenda and stifle dissent, this is a totally new thing conservatives learned to do in 2020 from leftists. I am a professional political commentator.

As you may have heard Youtube is being AWFUL and Shuffle Up specifically is being HIT HARD by the their latest madness. We didn't even swear in this one! 🤷‍♂️ But...I could still use your help. Please share and repost and retweet and re-up-whatever: youtu.be/SCWMs8JdoAM ❤️

Same as it ever was.

Was thinking of what name would best describe Stephen Miller as a bargain basement nazi and the best I came up with is “the GoBot Goebbels”

Hello? Special Victims Unit? There's an old man sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin.

given the everything, wotc really needs to take into consideration what it means to ask a lot of marginalized content creators, upon whose hard work the game relies on, to go into environments that could be hostile. racism and transphobia are at a fever pitch, this needs to be taken into account

ummm.. holy shit? tool use in bovids confirmed? holy holy shit?

Canada Post “lost” 1 billion dollars last year? How about, “it cost Canadians 1 billion dollars to have a national postal service” which works out to costing about $25 a year per person (population of Canada in 2024 = 40 million). Seems like a pretty reasonable cost to me.