It really is the purest encapsulation of this movement in terms of both its leaders and adherents: an old angry guy who can’t do pull ups making everyone watch him try to do pull ups

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.

I wish they would shift to bankruptcy.

my town had to cancel our annual christmas parade over the threat of ICE raids. but sure, libs killed christmas

congrat's to ya'll

Dude reminds me so much of Colin Robinson from What We Do in the Shadows

Hey all, The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships. Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits. You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.

Utah Bans Eye Contact During Sex

Though I'm not sure "The Catwoman actress" is the best way to refer to her?

This rules people.com/halle-berry-...

oh that’s good. not enough of every aspect of our lives were financialized quite yet

“the problem is that Americans have eyes”

i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

a dingo pupy christmas - patreon.com/wolfpupy

Show’s getting weird

Think about how much easier it would be to prosecute Hegseth for war crimes if Kissinger or Cheney and Rumsfield had been. Can you even imagine how different the last few decades would be if Kissinger had faced literally any form of justice for his crimes.

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Incredibly funny how much political discussion is driven by the four things at the bottom while everyone else is getting cooked on Facebook looking at pictures of AI Eminem opening nursing homes for crying veterans

Happy Thursday, Canada 🍁

Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”

Vampires would experience time differently than a mortal, years passing in the blink of an eye. For a vampire, time is infinite and free. It is worthless. So why don't they ever show vampires using linux?

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

An ICE agent was caught removing a sign marking an ICE kidnapping in DC last week! Do we think he did it out of anger, embarrassment, or most appropriately shame? If you think what you’re doing is right, why are you trying to hide the evidence? 👀

Every economy op-ed writer: No see, you can't buy a house because you buy too many avocado toasts but you're hurting the economy by not buying a new $1,000 phone each year. I am very smart. Also don't ask me about my emails with Epstein.

"device hoarding" also known as: When someone hasn't replaced the one phone that they have in a few years because they had no reason to. Words used to mean things.

Getting James Carville’s reaction to actual liberal Dems winning elections

a man who gets an email like this from his own mother should be legally required to reveal it to every woman he ever meets ever ever

it's insane how good it feels to see someone with actual political clout give a single honest response to something

getting my walmart thanksgiving box

When the movie careers of 10 different cast members stall at the same time

I saved this one for my birthday because I (incorrectly) thought I was the only person who would care about it.

Ani-Moe-tion, Day 20: Teen Girl Squad #simpsons #TheSimpsons #moevember #animoetion

PATTON OSWALT: These people are scared. They're being targeted. We're watching them be targeted right now. We're watching transgender people be targeted in a very aggressive way, so— BILL MAHER: We are? Where? OSWALT: Oh my god. MAHER: Where are they being targeted?

It may be a simple thing but I have a measure of inner contentment that even if I could make a computer program do this for me, I never would. Wouldn’t even occur to me.

Explain this, humankind

i fucking hate these people so much. "i spent the time working, reading and thinking" so you want a train. you want the bus. get on fucking public transit you absolute coward. or are you afraid of being next to god forbid someone poorer than you??

Give Jamie Loftus a Golden Globe you cowards

Kinda shows the level of elite capture in this country when the guy with the lowest approval ratings in history is going “hey you fat pig! I’m going to hamburger conference to say fish sandwich! Also not a sex offender!” and the news is just starting to be like huh wonder if this guy is unpopular