The concept of a sign language accent entered my brain this morning and now I'm like 2 hours into learning about regional sign dialects

My only current hero is the man who shot the coyote that ate my pet raccoon and his name is not Bill Gates so I think I'll be ok here

8 days until Generator at Massey Hall - don’t miss it! Tickets: masseyhall.mhrth.com/tickets/chris-…

You're supposed to be high on acid

we all know the answer to be wood chipper but apparently we have to settle for "said oops"

Good morning! GEN is for GENERATOR - at Massey Hall on the 27th. My crazy show of ideas, comedy and music - don’t miss it! Tickets: masseyhall.mhrth.com/tickets/chri...

My string of obsessive "I don't care about Olivia Nuzzi" tweets has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the tweets

Marjorie Taylor Greene picking up on which way the wind is blowing is like watching a cat use the toilet. I always knew it was theoretically possible but it’s still unsettling to watch

It's just a window you can forgive yourself dude

A story in two parts

Woke up this morning to a Peruvian coke lord I briefly met years ago sending me vulnerable texts about life because apparently he decided I was the most feminine dude he'd ever let into his circle and am foreign enough to safely share his emotions with. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with this.

They stopped making black mirror when it stopped feeling absurd

Jeffrey Epstein playing wordle and guessing “SP , “

Every day those pierogies slip further from his reach

Reading an article this morning about Hitler's tiny penis scientists wondering if they found out he had a monster hog would they have kept it a secret or would love of science win the day

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

Johann Tetzel, 1511:

When you stop paying the subscription fee they don't cancel it but they put your dead loved one in hell and you get unskippable video of them burning and begging for you to save them every single hour of the day.

A bus was stolen by a man in Canada who continued to allow passengers to board and even checked their bus passes, in what police described as a “joy ride.”

Aside from the obvious issues, he's nailing it to the proudest part of the gate and if he does ever manage to secure the bottom half it will force the spike out at a weird angle. If he finishes they will all be different angles like it was built by orks

everyone gets so mad at the mods here for doing basic mod shit. sometimes you gotta make a little murder joke and eat a three day ban for it. that’s life baby, there’s beauty in that.

Centrists would have us believe that Netanyahu is the only real problem with the Israeli government and that if Labour was in power these issues wouldn't be happening Now to just quickly log into the house oversight files and do a quick check for Labour's most famous prime minister and uh oh

He's right though

these are not even the files lol

"Fuck moving forward. Screw coming together. We are going to hire a team of prosecutors so large it needs its own building, fund them so well they have their own helicopters, and instruct them to go after everyone who broke the law from the White House to individual ICE agents."

Prince Andrew writes like a scared little boy who wasn't supposed to get caught stealing candy

In December 2018, Epstein wrote about Trump: “I am the one able to take him down.” Eight months later, Epstein was found dead in a prison run by the Trump administration. Weird coincidence.

I can only imagine that the myth that Israeli crimes are the result of an errant Netanyahu government aren't going to survive Ehud Barak's Epstein connection

Genuinely excited for my island home to reopen to all the Republicans on vacation

These emails make one thing extremely clear: Epstein killed himself there was no foul play

I remember saying about pizzagate that whatever they accuse democrats of, they are guilty. Which should mean we’ll find out about voter fraud soon

Google nermin divovic

The focus of Epstein remains on Trump but I think the bigger story that's yet to be truly dug into (except by Dropsite) is Israel. This is going to be so big and so nasty I think the world won't remain the same afterwards.

Americans might not understand it, but in many cultures it’s considered bad or even immoral to be a child rapist

i’ve said this before and i remain convinced it’s true, the 2028 platform that would deliver obama 08 results is “i am gonna bring the hammer down on the corrupt self-dealing politicians and their rich friends and there are no sacred cows id give a pass”

Feels weird we have to sit here and discuss if anything is going to happen to them for this instead of just grabbing the first rope from the closest shed

in retrospect the metoo movement did not go too far and in fact should have been given spanish inquisition levels of power and authority

It is journalistic malpractice to be within a city block of Vance and not read him this tweet through a bullhorn

"This woke Me-Too bullshit has gone too far," said the former Harvard President and Secretary of the U.S. Treasury to the billionaire pedophile sex trafficker in a private email that the Justice Department under both parties kept secret for years

jd vance post: erm mom can you pick me up? liberals are trusting the word of *checks notes* jeffrey epstein?? trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS

I guess Jeffrey Epstein didn’t instead think “Shit, I better be really careful about my secret Trump sex crimes knowledge, don’t want to get Epsteined in a prison cell” because that term hadn’t been coined yet

My takeaway from Epstein document dump was that Jeffrey Epstein in 2018/early 2019 was increasingly telling people he had dirt on Trump and Trump knew everything about child sex ring. To protect Trump's re-election campaign, Trump's DOJ charged Epstein in July 2019. Then Epstein committed "suicide."

In retrospect feel like they should have hung a Mission Accomplished banner

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

Dear fellow pedophile, Donald Trump is fully aware of my work in my capacity as a pedophile. Regards, A pedophile

I have in my hands definitive evidence that my opponent has committed a world-historic evil. Evidence that, were it to be released to the public, would cause his supporters to abandon him and his entire world to crumble to dust. I therefore have no choice but to give in to every one of his demands