A guide to the animal Kingdom: - Eyes in front likes to hunt. - Eyes on the side likes to hide. - Googly eyes on the tabbies is why I'm banned from the cat café.

Such a huge bruise on such a tiny hand

i am not trying to stir up trouble but i have indeed noticed that the mothman has been pretty quiet through all of this...

Make America Metaphor Literate Again

Now I'm just a simple country lawyer but I don't think you should be arresting five-year-olds

idk, maybe the dinosaurs were playing marco polo when shit went down and now nessie over at the loch is still shouting marco into the void

White Men Can’t Jump with Big Naturals

Dafuq?

I, too, have a memo I would like verbally circulated amongst ICE.

Aldi answers the question: What if you wanted to feel like you were shopping in a foreign country but you're not?

In conclusion, the US is a land of contrasts.

Anyways, here's Grand Teton

The least of my worries is some dork overseas hating me man my neighbors are kidnapping & killing my other neighbors

And yet, his cultists will hop aboard the mafioso spite train as if that's what they voted for all along.

Yet again I’d like to say that Howard Dean once did a slightly odd screech at the end of a campaign speech and everyone was like - oh he can’t be President.

More like War-a-Lago, amirite?

I wish they would all literally just start laughing at him. Just literally point and laugh. That would bother him more than anything else atp

A fading narcissist, absent morality and free of consequences with nothing to lose. I will never forgive Republicans.

I’m not a fan of restaurants that have a “sauce policy”. If I want a sauce, you give me a sauce. That’s a solid sauce policy.

The whiniest non-sequeiteur in history

I didn’t know that bus driver was also a pilot

To be clear--this is beyond pathetic.

In some sense we all thought we were going to Union Station only to end up stranded in Vienna Virginia with psychotic bus driver.

It's not really fair. I mean, Indiana has an I AND a U on their helmets.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you can fight for democracy and justice and equality in your own way without being an absolute prick to the people who are also fighting in their own way.

GO CANES!!!

Gross

I think maybe a lot of bad things could be avoided if the worlds most obvious crooks faced some sort of punishment other than “accumulating great sums of money and power”

I’m suing Donald Trump 500 billion dollars for wasting all our fucking time with his shit.

REALLY WISH MY INTERNET WAS WORKING SO I COULD WATCH THIS GAME

Abolish ICE and prosecute its leadership.

The funny thing is, "the Baileys" wasn't a bad heuristic for most of Schumer's career; when things are generally normal, worrying about how the imaginary median voter might react to something is reasonable. You can't worry about that shit while your opponents are setting the Constitution ablaze

Texans defense looks gassed.

HOLY SHIT, WHAT A CATCH BY BOUTTE

I guarantee Trump would re-truth this if it entered his peripheral vision.

Okay here we fucken go

8k verbal assaults? lol these weenies wouldn’t last five seconds being a female gamer

I kinda want to see ten turnovers in the second half.

The mental fortitude the Houston defense plays with is so impressive man. Offense keeps puking all over itself and they keep showing up and making plays.

Stroud joining the proud tradition of throwing 4 INTs in an AFC playoff game.

The worst thing about Gamergate and all the spinoff dumbass culture war nonsense is that theres actually lots of good reasons not to like lots of stuff and we can't even talk about it because of the muttonheads

These defenses have been making it look like all the QBs stink at their jobs all weekend

“Your Honda will freeze before you hit I-94” “Then I’ll see you in hell!”

Threatening to abandon a US ally to the detriment of other US allies so they can take over another US ally.

Want to stop deepfake exploitation? Give its victims a cause of action against the deep-pocketed companies that made the AI, not just against the pseudonymous and likely judgment-proof incel losers writing the prompts. Promise you the companies would solve the problem pretty quickly

Drew Lock in the game, just like people thought might happen this morning