haven’t yet reached the age when i feel the compulsion around this time of day to lie down for an hour on my back with my hands folded over my chest like a dracula. looking forward to it tho

this is so dumb, babies are terrible cooks

🚨 WORLD CUP SCORIGAMI 🚨 FINAL: France 🇫🇷 (4), England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (6) 6–4 has NEVER happened in men's World Cup history (1930–present).

I support the French not working on a Saturday

The winner of the World Cup third place playoff should play the loser of the World Cup final to decide which team really deserved to be in second place. Then the winner of that match should play the winner of the final.

Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. You were killed by DARK WIZARD!

Absolutely stunning motel signage, Raton, New Mexico

New cryptid

We need 2-3 more writers with a science-y backgrounds to help us turn news chaos into orderly information on @unbreaking.org's infectious disease control, food safety, and medical research funding pages. The commitment is a few hours every couple of weeks. Is this you? 🌱 unbreaking.org/how-to-help/

xing xing gonna do surgery on those grapes

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit breathing wildfire smoke.

reached the "shedding like a god damn snake" phase of tattoo healing

They’ve obviously got to redo this after the final with whoever loses in the tub

btw if yr getting yr world rocked by the napalm death tiny desk concert but haven't looked into stuff after the big splash they made with super short songs, the stuff Peel loved: whole catalog is great. jump in anywhere. groove metal one, "inside the torn apart," is underrated. but it's all great

never been a better time for a Diarrhea Planet reunion

these are rookie numbers, I believe under RFK's leadership we can get this to 2.5m, easy

reupping this again since, god willing, it’s the last thing i’ll ever write about this guy

How long can you hug the pizza delivery guy before it gets weird

taco bell only gives you diarrhea if it can sense you are not pure of heart

in high school the first time I hit a bong my friends said "DON'T clear the whole thing, you'll get way too high" but I cleared the whole thing and got way too high so they threw me on a cot and wrapped me up exactly like this

A real man doesn’t build a shed, he eats one, slowly over time, without any dipping sauces

security cam footage of the vandal who put a 300 yard slash in the floor of the reflecting pool

in the mouth of madness 2: in the digestive tract of madness

tattoo shop assistant this weekend was asking me about my glasses, he's been wearing ray-ban eyeglasses his whole life but does not want to be even remotely associated with the meta ai glasses so he's looking to switch it up

felt cute might delete later

The Shinra Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has stopped monitoring the status effect that turns you into a frog.

datadog after someone finally fixes an n+1

“But I want to tell you what he was like to hang out with in private when there were no stakes” is a very common response to the death of a person who had immense power in situations with high stakes.

Alfred Nobel established the Nobel Prize after wake up call: newspapers mistakenly published his obituary when his brother died & what he read as his legacy horrified him speaking ill (factually) of the dead is literally the most effective way to curb living racist & Nazi public figures/politicians

Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell are demonstrating the kind of leadership that I hope other Republican legislators follow.

Getting diarrhea like, "Hope this isn't the diarrhea that was on the news"

Good morning

i will be getting tattooed for roughly 5-6 hours today and will have to miss norway england play under the hot miami sun

(not understanding how the joke works) you know who else was partially sucked out of a window on a flight from greece

Just idling through some pixel art in my gigantic reference folder and lol, came across this banger

the bread is $13.50 and all the circuses are subscription based

so is there a Mr. Lady Met 😏…oh there is? np sorry to bother you

life imitates art

Not Going to Mars, technical death metal song about how much Elon sucks

once. again. she's not a bog witch. she's a sea witch that got accidentally trapped in a bog. and yes, actually, we are in love.

My Wife's An Angel is like listening to someone having the worst trip of their life while you have a panic attack (complementary) youtu.be/bXNnb6Y2U1A?...

i watched the second half of france morocco at the nail salon but they were playing fox instead of telemundo and it's legit nowhere near as good

being a "VIP Manager" for a sports betting company, where your job is to encourage people with a gambling addiction to push past financial hardship all the way to complete financial ruin, is one of the most soul eroding jobs I've ever heard of

[waitress holding the cursed vibrating cube over your plate] just say when

the rise of internet gambling is arousing genuinely puritanical feelings in me and I don't like it but like, it's bad enough when you know the casino or the track always has an edge. it's worse when the house is AMONG THE RICHEST GUYS IN HISTORY AND SEES A WAY TO GET MORE OF YOUR SCRATCH

just saw Mitch McConnell land a sick board slide into a front shuv dismount