Merry Zombie Jesus Diabetes Day to you all!

“And lo, when the rock was rolled from the cave, Christ had left a huge chocolate bunny, but it was already melting, as it had been a right hot one and was like an oven in there!

Southampton have knocked Arsenal out of the FA Cup...

This would be a bottle of epic, legendary proportions. Mikel's at the wheel. Or maybe it's Tiger.

🚨 Arsenal’s last two games… 🏆❌ Carabao Cup: lost the final vs Manchester City. 🏆❌ FA Cup: lost quarter finals vs Southampton.

I dreamt of the beach (1/4)

Perhaps today is the right time to promote this excellent UK charity. #THFC www.whiteribbon.org.uk

Oh, so you 'love football', Roberto? Name every match that happened this week!

I'm curious - what, if anything, would make De Zerbi's appointment tolerable in your eyes? I feel like a full retraction of previous comments, an acknowledgment that he was wrong to make them and to defend MG, an acknowledgment of *why* it was wrong, and a sincere apology would be a start.

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again. #Pinks #ProudBlue

Seeing Spurs fan on here no longer supporting their lifelong club hurts. At the same time though, I couldn't have more respect for them or their decision. De Zerbi is a horrible human being who in a season where it seemed Spurs couldnt sink lower on the pitch, they found a way to do so off it.

Powerful men being enabled to commit horrifying violence without consequence is literally the largest problem in the world right now. The fact that Tottenham has willingly gotten into bed with this cohort of people tells me more than I need to know about the people who run the club.

Do you think Starmer is doing all this diplomatic 'two fingers' to Trump in the hope he'll read it and do an apoplectic 'Elvis' on the White House Toilet while composing a reply on the Socials? Could be his Churchill moment.

Fake or not, those are fun.

In Slovak, the word for tears, dôverčivý, translates literally to “drama water”

In Afrikaans, the word for a porcupine, liggelowige, translates literally to “stab rabbit”

In Odia, the word for an ostrich, ଗୁଲିବଲ୍, translates literally to “war chicken”

In Korean, the word for cowboys, 속기 쉬운, translates literally to “American horse pirates” * read on for more of my all-time favourite translations from around the world (a thread)…

One last thing on this (for now)... There are 2 possibilities here: Either they *are* being over diagnosed, & literally thousands of medical professionals are involved in systematic malpractice. Or actually we should ignore ministers and listen to the professionals saying it's *under* diagnosed.

More policy-based evidence-making from this dreadful government

April Fools

anyway, high unemployment and high benefit claims are very rarely the responsibility of the unemployed or the claimants. you can point fingers at the state whenever this is a thing. that is the hill I will die on

welfare provides a service. its a safety net, not a trap. the biggest mistake of Universal Credit was thinking that people were not incentivised to work under the old system. they absolutely were. But you need education, training, childcare and guess what, *jobs* to work. And more.

thats no different to people who are claiming assistance (most of whom are entitled to it btw) making sure they max out their benefits. And some cross the line but I promise you if you think every dry cleaning bill that is claimed for in a SA is for 'work use' you're a mug (cont.)

i think the biggest mistake govts make when looking at the welfare system is thinking people who use it are different from people who don't use it. you know how accountants like to tell you about all the shit you can expense as a director or sole trader? (cont.)

In Kurdish, the word for a hedgehog, zûbawer, translates literally to “ouch mouse”

"self-identify" aka seeking symptomatic support pre-diagnosis because waiting times are measured in decades and in many ICB regions are outright non-existent due to total freeze on funding for adult assessment

As someone who's been through the process both for myself and my 2 children, this is just such offensive bullshit in The Times. There's no fucking incentive, there's just a 3-year waiting list followed by 1-2 years of titration (for ADHD) and all the while fighting for the *slightest* accommodation.

There's an airbase in Spain called Móron. Seems a bit unfair not to let Donald Trump use it.

Football has real issues that is not even trying to deal with. Its becoming harder and harder to follow the sport at the top level.

That isn’t to say that the game itself doesn’t still matter to the rest of us. Of course it does. And I don’t want to turn my back on the players who have just as little control over this appointment as we the fans did. But I’m going to have to make compromises I shouldn’t have to make.

I also just want the men viewing this appointment purely in sporting terms to acknowledge that that’s a privilege, to not have to think about the precedent being set by elevating a vocal abuse apologist to one of the most prominent managerial posts in the world. It’s not “just a game” for everyone.

With the news now official, there's no getting around the fact that this absolutely hurts like hell. I don't know when I'm going to feel comfortable supporting the Men's team again. It didn't have to be this way, but once again the club chose "ambition" over respect for its fans & the club's values.

What I feel less hopeful about is the Women's team escaping without any major ramifications from the fallout. They don't deserve it. I can understand the urge to want to break all ties with the club right now, but I would encourage y'all not to give up on Spurs Women.

There are two things giving me a bit of hope RE Spurs: 1) I'm heartened to see that the values of the club at least haven't been forgotten by supporters, & I'm proud of us for speaking up. 2) However long this guy lasts as manager, it won't be forever; we *will* have our Spurs back eventually.

Get to fuck

An absolute shitshow Tottenham Supporters' Trust says it cannot support De Zerbi appointment - www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Oh, and we just announced the hiring of a toxic, explosive manager famed for red cards and bust-ups with his players and bosses… perfect. Just perfect. 😫

All Together Always, unless you’re a sufferer of abuse, in which case, why haven’t you considered the effect that had on the abuser? They’ve had a really hard time of it.

I honestly thought they'd see the reaction and change course. I am either stupid or in spite of everything, still wearing rose tinted glasses. Regardless, they have contrived to bring me back down to Earth with a bump. It's the hope that kills you afterall. #COYS #THFC #Spurs #NoToDeZerbi

The horror season just got massively more horrific. What a fucking mess and a disgrace of a club. We deserve to be relegated just for the absolute mismanagement of our wonderful club 🤍 Let’s hope that forces them to sell up so we can finally start rebuilding AUDERE EST FACERE

Get the board in the bin.

Nasty little man and an apologist for domestic abuse. #ENICOUT

There's hope...

Good morning and happy Trans Day of Visibility to all the cool trans people (all of you) 🏳️‍⚧️

"He's categorically not interested under any circumstances."

I think we can all concur that this is, in fact, a goddamn sign.

‘Succulent Chinese meal’ speech added to Australia’s National Film and Sound Archive