I have a theory that going bald too young either turns you evil or into the chillest guy possible. This is the so-called Steven Miller-Stanley Tuccci Theorem.

how did i go so long not knowing we were literally teaching people to read wrong. i knew something wasn't right but jesus christ www.apmreports.org/episode/2019...

ever since I learned about three-cueing I've developed infinitely more patience for replies on social media. mfers literally do not know how to read. people are walking around conjuring random meanings into words they don't know, and they don't know a lot of words. it's crazy

It's not uncommon for a baby to puke on you and cry. But if you puke on them they also cry. So what the fuck

@samreich.bsky.social please do a mug and/or shirt of the YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY affirmations

Incredible photo of Miga at Friendsgiving last night

the YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY affirmations bit in the latest Make Some Noise nearly made me black out from laughing too hard

i get a bit nervous when my library hold book ends up being this old and tattered. a certain amount of wear keeps me from feeling like i need to baby it but now i feel afraid i’ll destroy it by putting it in my bag

i think my favorite moment in any video game is the Anderson Stage Defense in Alan Wake. after constantly scurrying about in fear, barely having enough light and ammo to scrape by, to suddenly be surrounded by fireworks and howling guitars and defending the high ground, was an unbeatable high

we need to normalize being extraordinarily handsome and strong and charismatic and capable of doing a perfect standing backflip

I've seen all sorts of instructions for how to turn off copilot on windows 11, but as an fyi, you can go into "add and remove programs" and just uninstall it. surprisingly, they let you do that. Does that remove every stupid ai thing? No idea, but in theory copilot is gone

Eight months ago before he really blew up on, of all places, r/micromobility Zohran had a very good answer for this which is that you move parking enforcement away from the cops to the DOT.

Having spent most of my 20s and 30s in dive bars, I can recognize an “oh great, the worst person on earth thinks I’m awesome and wants to be best friends” face when I see one

absolute beast mode

I have just had a railroad tamping iron blown clean through my skull and it seems like a great time to reply to posts on bluesky

ozymandias, of the poem, was actually ramesses the second, possibly the most revered and well remembered pharaoh of all time, whose works and historical reign were 100% not lost in the mists of history

it’s the time of year where the parks fill with markets where other men who also haven’t updated their personal style in a decade yell from market booths for my attention to sell me beard oil, and i scurry past and avoid eye contact

Demi overheard a British woman in Japan. From bigsofttitty.png ep 352 - I crave release

We need your help! But let me explain why:

Everything these people write reminds me of Tricia Lockwood’s tweet but they are both Jonathan Franzen

Free speech is more than me being allowed to say what I want. Everyone also has to like it and tell me I'm a smart and handsome boy

instead of reading about something as deeply unpleasant as anything involving RFK’s personal life, consider the light refreshing beach read of SINISTER EXTREMITY: A Love Story, which is about cutting off your left hand in a single swift strike without anesthetic every single day

There are blocks I won't go jogging down because it's just a wall of Ring cameras right up against the street with no setback and I do not need everyone and their grandmother recording me struggling at sunrise. www.theverge.com/podcast/8220...

a lot of ppl are deeply confused about my beliefs so for anyone curious — my beliefs can more or less be summed up as rejecting this statement and everything associated with it.

i love that they are so disconnected not just from what makes gaming appealing, but from general human economics that “this robot might actually try to spend thousands of dollars of your money on tissues if you are too good at video games” is formatted as a joke instead of a life-ruining horror

my favorite english dish is Hot Egg. it’s where they deep fry an egg in the shell for just long enough to make it uncomfortably hot to the touch and really greasy, without cooking the inside in any palatable capacity. the english constantly defend Hot Egg as a cornerstone of their national identity

the tragic tale of Schvantlfeim

he said no. He said if a dog was threatening my chicken coop (don’t have chickens) he would throw a stone through the dog’s head. He said he was patient and would wait vigilant through dead of night “until dead of night become dead of dog.” He laughed loudly and said “then we will eat well of him.”

Hi Reddit. I (28M) met a giant muscular man with an inscrutable accent named “Schvantlfeim” (??M) (sp?) who said he would “kill [my] dog” and “give good price.” Didn’t have the tone of a threat and seemed extremely proud to offer this service. I don’t have a dog. I asked if he was a veterinarian and

entire can of sardines for lunch check. post your entire can of sardines that you’re having for lunch

"babies are born worshipping unknown gods" is one of the most incredible dwarf fortress bugs i have heard of. its poetry.

This is new information for me, too. It's wild that the person who invented the most common reading education system in the US says point-blank that it doesn't matter if people don't actually read words, but just guess what they are. He says it's fine to see the word "pony" and read it as "horse."

- Reloading here! - I'm reloading. - Cover me, I'm reloading! - Have to reload! - Why are there so many nude men here? It boggles the mind. Anyway, I'm reloading.

Dialogue from the original Rated M first person shooter KILL NUDE MEN: - I must kill nude men. - Hm. Low on ammo. - Getting low on health. - Where are they all coming from? - I can see everything.

Remember 25 years ago when a photo was taken of a fed pointing a gun at a crying refugee child and the image was so shameful it dominated the news cycle for a year

what is the most satisfying yet archetypal Guy With Sword Goes On A Quest novel

i genuinely do not understand why anyone has used instagram in years. people talk about struggling to quit instagram but it is immediately, viscerally repellent to me. i dash in there to check messages every once in a while and it’s like walking into a steam room fully clothed

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

Gun.

I can’t remember the last time I legit cried laughing at something but the second verse of this song has done it

Until the sun burns out

Vote blue? No, matter who!

The thing about ACA is that if an American describes how it works to someone from literally anywhere else, the other person will be utterly horrified at its deliberate cruelty. The way the horror of pre-ACA healthcare sounds to an American, is basically how ACA sounds to everyone else on earth.

@schumer.senate.gov seriously fucking eat a bag of cat shit

@schumer.senate.gov Fuck you

Gun.