Obviously this is impossible because Alan Moore looks like he's genetically a wizard, it's simply impossible to imagine what he would look like as a schoolboy oh there he is.

Shame Jonathan Gullis joined Reform. He had a bright future in standing next to a pub fruit machine telling you what buttons to press.

Genuinely thought Michael Stipe was the Pepto-Bismol guy.

Love this photo. Like he’s been stuffed and mounted and put on display in his natural habitat. Near the ketchup. Even has his own little card in front of him.

How much money must you have earned to have paid “millions” in taxes? Follow up question, how have you earned enough to pay millions in taxes, but somehow a few grand extra has ruined your retirement plans?

Post something random or you’ll have an awful December

Seen on Threads: "There is no such thing as an AI Artist. You are little more than the person commissioning the work. Being more specific in what you’re asking for doesn’t make you an artist". Nuff said.

Ditto music or films or TV. If you disagree with the politics or culture of a distributor, and boycott them, but still consume work via piracy (YouTube, file sharing etc) without finding a way of paying the artist, you’re not protesting, or really even boycotting. You’re consuming while in denial.

Black shirts. Sure.

*playing guess who with werner herzog* werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards me: yes werner herzog: is it clive

The Kindle and Audiobook edition of The Other People is in Amazon's Black Friday sale right now! Two years of my life for 99p! Bargain! www.amazon.co.uk/Other-People...

It's that time of year

Word of the day is ‘quockerwodger’ (19th century): a puppet politician whose strings are pulled entirely by someone else.

“A brilliantly trippy clash of minds that’s as precisely measured as the wraps of illicit powder these two are caning — and resonant enough to recall classic psychological two-handers like Sleuth.” Evening Standard gives GAME ★ ★ ★ ★ Out in UK cinemas today.

The Kindle and Audiobook edition of The Other People is in Amazon's Black Friday sale right now! Two years of my life for 99p! Bargain! www.amazon.co.uk/Other-People...

Well put by @drrachelbarr.bsky.social

“What’s the greatest work of fiction you’ve read recently, Martyn?” “Thanks for asking. It’s the Exeter city bus timetable board at Crackhead Corner. Brilliantly made up!”

See, look, U.S.A., it's this easy (and should have been done immediately upon the knowledge that these cheats and grifters were STEALING our work)

I have some issues with the BBC but I don't want a penny of license payers' money to go into that rancid paedophile rapist's pockets. Please sign ... action.eko.org/a/trump-vs-b...

2017 tweet from Leave.EU thanking Putin for carpet bombing Syria which displaced 14 million & led directly to the refugee/boat crisis.

A teenage girl just alleged she had sex with Matt Gaetz while living in a homeless shelter because she was saving up money to pay for braces to fix her teeth. She had just finished her junior year of high school.

I love this.

I can't access my messages on BlueSky because I won't do age verification. And I honestly have no idea how a VPN works. Can anyone enlighten me?

This US goverment poster is from 1943. The Nazis burned books - this US goverment is banning them. Hard to imagine such a poster being produced now.

News Chronicle, December 1936. Those were the days...

Thank you, Dave!

Hi all. My lovely new book, THE OTHER PEOPLE, is out now in paperback. The Times called it one of their Crime Novels of the Year and obviously I agree. If you'd like to read it, please do. I think you'd enjoy it. Sorry, but I may be banging on about this for a while.

Morris dancing.

Hi all. My lovely new book, THE OTHER PEOPLE, is out now in paperback. The Times called it one of their Crime Novels of the Year and obviously I agree. If you'd like to read it, please do. I think you'd enjoy it. Sorry, but I may be banging on about this for a while.

If this is what Bluesky’s like for Cheney, I can’t wait for Trump.

New awareness campaign

VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends

FOA @keithrosson.bsky.social - It's Ross Kemp!

Unbelievable thread. (You should be following Emma btw.)

Yes, this is what reading 'House of Leaves' feels like.

I for one did not see this coming

This is fucking brilliant. Let’s roll the scheme out nationwide.

Chatbots and AI slop are going to ruin countless brains. Yours doesn't have to be one of them. Study history. Read poetry. Get acquainted with Bach, Shakespeare, George Eliot. In a time when people are rapidly getting dumber, we need communities devoted to the life of the mind.

Drop an old person you’re going to turn into in the future.

We can learn much from the French.

Ah, Bettie Page. The most famous person ever to come from Exmouth.

It's very trendy for the woke left to mock the police these days, but this is the kind of thing that you and I might miss.

This is depraved beyond belief

The People’s Nonce, here, dressed as the Woking branch of Hobbycraft

Marie McGowan, 89, has died 3 years after a brutal assault during which she was put headfirst into a rubbish bin. Her attacker, Alex Bailey, believed she was "a man dressed as a woman." This is the world the transphobes are creating "to protect women." RIP Marie. share.google/PFaI5YTh9tBw...

I see Netflix has announced its follow-up to their recent 'Monster: The Ed Gein Story'... 😱