are we still discussing mode and mood in the year of our lord 2026

Sometimes on campus you accidentally walk by a philosophy class and the professor is writing "utility = pleasures - pains" on the board and everyone is taking notes like it's actual school

All posters go to heaven

if it saves lives i think it's okay for europeans to invent a slant where they're somehow dunking on americans by installing air conditioners. "you american pigs with your coddled central air systems could never compete with our graceful ductless mini-splits" something along those lines

News portals being like:

I salute you, second lieutenant Hiroo Onoda.

unfortunately there is no other way around it - they need to bend the knee or get removed from positions of power

Breaking: Keir Starmer seen dating Katy Perry

I can't believe @trixiemattel.bsky.social got an entry in the @enwiktionary.bsky.social LMAO

me, learning verb conjugations

"no exit" play, only it's about how hell is the inability to get out of your own ass

Mail mit der Bitte um Verlängerung beginnt mit dem Satz: "Gerne, hier eine höflich und flüssig formulierte Version:" Schreibt doch einfach "bitte verlängern", das geht schneller als jeder Prompt.

'We are clamping down on the harm caused by social media. 'Read all about it on the Nazi pogrom deepfake abuse website'

WHEN one falls. Not IF. When.

“it’s a fun tradition, get over it.” wrong. the only fun thing to ever happen in the united states senate was the senate twink, and society shunned him for it.

wikipedia: preventing me from um ackshuallying people since 2001

starting a group DM for everyone who missed the window to post something funny about group DMs

wow that's a lot of group chats i've already been invited to. if you haven't yet been invited to any group chats i bet it's because everyone secretly hates you

VOLITION - No. Not a disaster. Weave this into the story of you. Walk out of its *ruins*. Save those who still can be saved -- *I'm* on your side.

its not even nazi bar, it is radio rwanda at this point

Europeans learning that they are geographically more on line with Canada, not the US.

our generation's gary larson

learning the language by becoming spanish thot reply guy

average bluesky user

llm's being wrong half the time really helps the slot machine effect and addiction, huh

The only “real” New Yorker was Brooklyn Dad Defiant and he moved out

schwulen gut, alles gut

whats the scoop on the possibility of gay sex tho

“what’s your take?” “i think you deserve to die” “100%… agree!” [laughter] “no shit i woke up today thinking my final judgement will never come” “i hope it happens” “me too”

nothing got me to love my imperfections more than AI

well troll'd m'lord - fuck people for not wanting for every single fucking thing to be about gender, i guess

2 girls 1 cup [slowed and reverb]

"too big to fail" is a conspiracy by big big to sell more fail

just googled war wtf why would someone do that

Watching the Eurovision stream on YT... is this how it looks for everyone else?

I don't have post nut clarity so much as I have pre nut psychosis

todo a la vez en todas partes a todo gas

god forbid a French rat live out his dream of becoming a chef on a cruiseship

You are a skilful and trusted vizier. You will advise me wisely on how best to rule the kingdom. You will not scheme or plot. You will not inveigle my other courtiers into turning against me. You will not lie to me about scheming or plotting. If you scheme or plot against me, you have to tell me,

(I make a "mouth" with the side of my hand and draw little eyes above it) Richard Dawkins: hmmmm (I put lipstick around the "mouth") Richard Dawkins, suavely: well hello

trying to play peekaboo with my child but he's a European diplomat: me: where'd daddy go? baby: we must articulate a post-daddy vision of strategic autonomy me: peekaboo! baby: my historic relationship with my father is stable despite recent troubles

Surely a simpler solution would be to close that terrible beach

so many hot bitches exist in this world of pain and for that I am grateful 🙏

Fuck him up, Mencius

While many of you will likely be yelling "GO JOURNALISTS!" or "GO TRUMP!" I'll be calmly enjoining "go Four Cardinal Principles and Eight Virtues"