Father’s Day question for men: How hard is it for you to flush a toilet in a public restroom?

Vandalism? Are you fucking kidding me?!?

"The Americans can't get the slime out of their capital's monument pool and will arrest you for touching it," sounds like the sort of lie they'd tell us in the Soviet Union so we'd stop bitching about bread lines.

On this blessed Fathers Day my only wish for everyone is to pull my finger

Stunt Cock

Without saying the title, spoil a movie in five words or less: Sharks eat the marlin, despair alt- Giant shark gets blown up

🎶it was Earth, all along🎶

Without saying the title, spoil a movie in five words or less: They fall in love

Jack will freeze to death

So much for draining the swamp.

Anyone want to mow my grass? Just not feeling it today.

Without saying the title, spoil a movie in five words or less: Greenfield gets Debbie to Dallas

Without saying the title, spoil a movie in five words or less: Wife’s head in a box.

🎵Let’s get it on…🎶

Yo! Who’s got some marinara or Alfredo sauce?

3,000 horny queens?!?

The couple whose name is on the building surprised the first 100 visitors to walk through the doors of the new Obama Presidential Center on Friday by personally greeting them.

I don't know who needs to hear this but lick all the peanut butter off the utensil before you put it in the sink

No notes 🤌

Toad is in the reflecting pool.

Elky McElk Face

Percolating.

How Nature says, “Do not touch.”

Damn, accidentally made eye contact with a neighbor and now I have to move.

Damn Colbert is a treasure. He very knowingly and intentionally played Linus and Lucy on the air, and the copyright holder joyfully got a fine out of CBS for it and then donated it to World Central kitchen. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

I hope Michelle Obama sues trump and the UFC for many MILLIONS in defamation. Enough is enough.

We Need To "Claw" Back All Of Our Money, From Fraud Felonious !

Bob Odenkirk is a national treasure. Take 44 seconds and watch. www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0rB...

THE #CANES WIN THE CUP 
 THE #CANES WIN THE CUP  THE #CANES WIN THE CUP  THE #CANES WIN THE CUP  THE #CANES WIN THE CUP  THE #CANES WIN THE CUP

Sucks that this 64 year old Rocky & Bullwinkle joke still hits now

today's post is the eulogy I wrote and delivered yesterday at the memorial service for my late wife Claudia Long. please read it — and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

today's post is the eulogy I wrote and delivered yesterday at the memorial service for my late wife Claudia Long. thank you for your attention to this matter. link is here: bit.ly/4uB7qLk

Honestly, this is just the beginning. As we get closer to the election stuff like this will ramp up. And on November 3rd, and the days following, it's going to be bad

it's notable to me that the administration tried to frame tonight's UFC event as a "gift to Americans" but you can't watch it unless you have a paid subscription to Paramount+

Disco Demolition Night Part II: The Disco-ening. Now with more booze!

Nara Organics recalls baby formula sold at Target after multistate infant botulism outbreak apnews.com/article/infa... #Health #Recall #ConsumerSafety #Infants

Welp…

you too, can be a helper. please, fuck, we are tired.

A beautiful Pride month moment when these two men were able to get married on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Post a logo, emblem, or title (with its original font) that remains as perfect today as when it was new.

Well, I gotta admit it was worth the wait for that curtain to be removed.

is it possible they just don’t know

great ask in the legal advice subreddit

ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be left alone

"Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy." Exodus 20:8

"We're surrendering, but if you don't accept our surrender, we will nuke you." Art. Of. The. Deal.

Nothing says “dying civilization” like gladiator fights at the capitol for the emperor’s amusement.

I can think of over a trillion reasons why we need to redistribute wealth in this country, forcibly if necessary.