Hahahahahahahaha Oh my! Is this an opening para or is this an opening paragraph? This alone should end any normal human cabinet secretary.

Be sure to read the whole thing.

When you are attacking Miss Rachel, Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, and the Pope, that’s a demographic sweep.

yeah it is critical that dems win the senate

I don't know about you, but I find this very, very hard to believe. . . . . . . ( /s )

kash patel meeting with his security detail

OMG Kash Patel appears to be a drunken national security threat "Meetings and briefings had to be rescheduled for later in the day as a result of his alcohol-fueled nights." "A request for 'breaching equipment' ... was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind locked doors."

When your life becomes a case study in karma.

Great job, DoorDash PR. Piss off all your users who hate fascism and still get thrown under the bus by the fascist. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

Exactly one year ago today:

TMZ setting up in DC to follow politicians around is FINALLY the appropriate lowbrow "news" coverage this administration has merited all along.

It’s like the rich want to leave politicians no choice but to make them the enemy.

“I’ll be 59 on Sunday.”

Padres Score 5 in 9th to Win vs Mariners 7-6. Jackson Merrill 2-RBI Double Walks it off! Merrill 2-5 & Robbed Homer; Xander Bogaerts 2-4, 2-Run Homer; Ramón Laureano 2-5, RBI & Run in 9th; San Diego Has Won 7 in a Row. #FriaredUp #ForTheFaithful  apnews.com/article/mari...

@sdutSanders tweeted "That’s what a good team does. They don’t give up ’til the very last out." Jackson Merrill robs a home run, finishes five-run ninth with a walk-off double to send #Padres to seventh straight win. https://t.co/Vn8ZtBX5J6 https://t.co/tBJJBk0IOi

Life comes at you fast

Ahahaha — talk about some badly timed news. #CPAC @maddowblog.bsky.social @jimmykimmel.com @indivisible.org #NoKings Beverly Hills Hotel, Friday May 1, 2026

The father AND the husband of Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer were both texting the same young women on her staff. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/15/u...

I have received some important information pertaining to my katy perry manifesto

It also occurred to me…did any of the reporters there ask if Trump even tipped her? And if so, how much? 🤔

it just lifts my heart to feel heard. thanks, ICE lawyer. 💜

The Pope is soft on crime though.

Not really a super big fan of cringe comedy, but it turns out my appetite for JD Vance humiliation is voracious.

amazon prime during the most crucial moment of the NBA season:

sorry to this guy but this is unfortunately extremely funny to me

I don’t like knowing there are so many of theses guys out there but I do like learning who they are via something terrible happening to them

Strange that this keeps happening with pardoned Jan6ers…

A+ headline. defector.com/president-ex...

Wouldn't want to illustrate a story about Trump cosplaying Jesus with the image of Trump cosplaying Jesus.

I've written before about how USAID was the first government agency killed by conspiracy theory. This confirms it. donmoynihan.substack.com/p/the-death-...

I hate to whatabout, but this was literally the core of what right wingers wanted to impeach Biden over. www.reuters.com/world/china/...

Just a good thing we have nothing like Biden’s cognitive decline and son taking advantage of the office happening today.

A woman named Lonna Drewes at a news conference just now accused Eric Swalwell of drugging her drink and sexually assaulting her. Here's part of her statement.

CNN put together a montage of Chris Wright saying last month that "there's a very good chance" gas prices will be back below $3 a gallon by the summer, followed by a clip of him saying yesterday that "by the summer is an aggressive timeframe now"

One thing that's frustrating about the DoorDash PR guy's response that "no one is claiming it was a real delivery" is that this is how mainstream media actually covered it:

😂

The PR guy at DoorDash is having a bit of a crash out

For decades, birthday party clowns folded balloons and played games. John Wayne Gacy is taking a different approach.

Gonna be a lot of people whose last words are "Is...that...Nicole Kidman?!"

i feel bad for our country but this is tremendous content

Breaking News: The Trump administration agreed to allow the rainbow Pride flag at the Stonewall monument in Manhattan, reversing its earlier decision. nyti.ms/4c8DEry

‼️

This entire screengrab reads like Dr. Evil describing his father

You know, I'm something of a doctor myself

One odd thing about how I'm seeing some mainstream outlets cover this publicity stunt that Trump's doing here is talking about this as though Trump seriously just ordered DoorDash and this wasn't planned. Obviously, it was.

It was an honest mistake, okay?

I don't think my day can recover from "I thought it was me as a doctor." Let's call it a wrap.

my sign saying we operate under US law has a lot of people asking a lot of questions already answered by the sign

I don't think a grandma should have to do DoorDash to pay for her husband's cancer treatments