I was doing a bit, your honor

White boys with guitars simply aren’t sad enough anymore

french kisses are now called freedom kisses

strap JK Rowling into a rocket and launch it into space, call that an astroterf

BREAKING NEWS: DON'T WANNA.

TFW you learn something about someone you respected and suddenly you can't even bear to look at them.

Hey, interesting point. Let me see if I can turn that into a Seinfeld or Sopranos reference real quick

It won't be like this forever but it definitely sucks at the moment

wtf happened last night

just gave blood here in france and you get a two course meal (main course and dessert) with coffee at the end if you want.

the crying playlist has come back.

i could never be a hater for very long i’m too nice actually.

The guillotines could be decorated like Mardi Gras floats for the folks watching at home. Get the schools involved, run a contest, have fun with it, I say.

reading this memorandum reminds me why i could never be a criminal lawyer because sometimes you can find yourself in the very depths of human depravity.

got my glasses on to read a memorandum for a lawsuit, just being my law school self.

boooo

woke up from my nightmare, sent a voice message to a friend and had a random bit of vocal fry towards the end of the message but i have quite a posh british accent so who knows where that came from.

had such a bad nightmare about a female serial killer that i woke up. law and order: criminal intent definitely did that to me.

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts Simmer down and pucker up I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you I don't know if you feel the same as I do But we could be together if you wanted to

long days led to longer nights make plenty mistakes, couple wrong turns, guess that's just life

i just reblogged something about overthinking on tumblr but the truth is i never think about anything really.

If the actor with British accent is evil then you’re watching Sci fi. If the actor with a British accent is good then it’s Fantasy. If the actor with a British accent knocks something over then it’s a Rom com.

So like, when you start reading Anne Rice's IWTV books, you slowly find out she has a weird fascination with Desi/Arab culture and the way she portrays them is really, really racist. Like, colonial era racist. I don't even want to KNOW what she would have said about Assad Zaman playing Armand.

I wonder what Nixon would have thought of Trump.

Every time I open Bluesky,

booooo

So watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent and Season 7, Episode 15 is called Please Note We Are No Longer Accepting Letters of Recommendation from Henry Kissinger and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. I believe in universal salvation but boy did he have to watch his crimes first.

you can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

so nervous i’m red all over

yeah a mensa person not using the correct form of “its” makes me feel better about myself in general.

To scroll, perchance to post

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

i say "euh" instead of "uhm" now when i speak french, i have made it to the final boss.

Fashion tip of the day: To deal with clothes moths, fill your wardrobe with thousands of tiny spiders, the moth's natural predator. To deal with the spiders, fill your wardrobe with scorpions. To deal with the scorpions, fill your closet with RFK Jr. This way, you avoid harmful chemicals.

not strai(gh)t at all

talking to the nicest chemist in the world and it’s making me feel better about life today.

Dear Amazon, Thank you for your latest recommendations based on my recent browsing history however if you recall I successfully purchased the item in question and therefore respectfully decline the offer of a further 18,000 pairs of shoe laces. Regards.

there are things i should never have seen and yet…and yet…

rotting my brain with law & order: criminal intent instead of doing anything of note in my life.

get in loser, we’re also losers. this is the losermobile

Millions of peaches, sure ok. But peaches for free? I have my doubts

Happy birthday to John Brown, who knew exactly how to handle the south’s “Peculiar Institution”

JK Rowling is now represented by a trans person in the Scottish parliament. Absolutely incredible.

When the power & will of the people is denied, Revolution must follow! 💥💪🏽💪🏽

Every time I hear my legal name being used in a TV show, they're always awesome people. Obviously my mum chose well.

does anyone know what’s going on

boooooo

Toad was in bed, taking a nap.