i'm living rent-free in your head and it's decorated like shit

Important notice on the work board

You’ve Pearled your last Jam!

See the official season 15 trailer! www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2JX...

IGN is reporting that your GTA 6 character can only access healthcare in the Ultimate Edition

Waiting on a massage chair at the gym to open up, and I’m feeling like I’m back in 1st grade waiting for my turn on the swings 😐 #FirstWorldProblems

Happy Fathers Day to all the dad-figures out there, especially mine! ❤️ I miss&love you, Dad—thanks again for always being there in spirit (here he is when his pic came up between my mom & I when I got married back in 2015)

Suzuki: "Just go about your business like I'm *not* wearing the hat." @robinindie.bsky.social @frustratedfan.bsky.social

Me giving up on Friday the 13th because there's too many dead campers.

Drummer here. The lead guitarist in one of my covers bands is an inconsiderate arse and always goes for a shit after a gig leaving the rest of us to load the van. So I let a couple of his tyres down. Done it three times now and he thinks it's a psycho fan. As if he has a fan.

hahah @falling-ash.bsky.social

We’ve got the Onion Newsvan circling the cursed UFC fight outside the White House.

Sticker spotted in Upstate NY #fuckICE

So close to pitching a perfect game, but today you made L.A. proud as always, Yoshi 💙⚾ @dodgersbot.bsky.social #Dodgers

Don't tell me how to buy my owls

Well, I think you look A. Old Consequences: Groin pull, possible head trauma B. Good after ten beers Cons: Groin pull, definite head trauma C. Beautiful Cons: Groin pull after failure to keep straight face D. Nice Cons: Meaningless compliment accepted, meaningless bsky friendship continues nice

Today, I turn 44 @exploding-girl.bsky.social didn't you hear? I have eight blue sky posts in a row. Just wait here, I'm gonna break your record. What a great birthday

We used to post etymologies. We still do, but we used to, too.

Happy Pride 🌈

But what about her other albums, “Esc” and “Pig-Up”? @barrie-j-williams.bsky.social

Not my bestest day at the gym today, but did a little better than I thought I would. I gotta think of ways to mix up my routine, though; I don’t want to burn out and quit again.

Name a terrible thing Scrappy Doo did: Scrappy Doo cancelled Mindhunter.

Name a terrible thing Scrappy Doo did: He made Tim Curry turn down being in the Scooby Doo (2002) movie.

"'Broke', or made better?" 😁

Name a terrible thing Scrappy Doo did: Be born (ask his mom).

ok water calm down

HOME RUN! Shohei Ohtani 2-Run HR off Brent Suter Los Angeles Angels @ Los Angeles Dodgers Exit Velo: 110.4 mph | Launch Angle: 23° | Distance: 406 ft Bot 1st | LAA 1 - LAD 9 Season HR #11 #MLB #HomeRun #Dodgers

had never seen this one and it's killing me

🎶 it was love, it was love, it was love… 🎶

"I used AI to-" Then you aren't an artist. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a writer. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a coder. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a game dev. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a poet. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a filmmaker. "I used AI to-" Then you aren't a teacher.

It’s June 1 which means it’s time to bust out my best tweet.

i aspire to be this level of petty

“So, at Walmart, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time…”

me skipping the gym tomorrow since my allergies are kicking my ass:

@barrie-j-williams.bsky.social But were there any loins that were outlawed?

Trying to watch the current Dodger game, but it’s having us assume FOX-viewing positions instead! @popculturezone.bsky.social @testzero.bsky.social

When you're waiting for the doordash driver to pull up