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I can see that none of you children will be at peace until you see someone compliment me. Here you are then.

Frog knocked at Toad’s door. “Toad, wake up,” he cried. “Come out and see how wonderful the winter is!” “I will not,” said Toad. “I am in my warm bed.”

baking a savory bread pudding. a strata if you're fancy. sausage, mushroom, spinach, bell peppers and cheese. prolly could have used more cheese, fuck!

For the next, oh, let’s say 24 hours…. I’ll give a 10% discount to anyone who books me for script editing/consultation… so you can have that project ready for January, when editors and producers go back to reading new things.

i rarely buy ground beef and yesterday i did. holy shit, it was so expensive! it's supposed to be the cheap meat to stretch out meals for big families; i'm thinking sloppy joes, spaghetti and meat sauce, hamburger helper, etc...

are we renaming Anaheim "Assaheim" or "Anaheinie" when the Great Buttening of America comes

Anaheinie just rolls off the tongue...

i know i can do better!

The death of browsing is part of the reason art is the way it is now. Our opinions are largely fed to us by algorithms. Spending a spare 15 minutes wandering around a bookstore or comic shop or video rental place was how you found stuff you wouldn't ordinarily pick up and thereby expanded your taste

"Immortality Influencer" looks more sickly than ever and who gives a fuck if Grimes is a fan? Not like she's a paragon of good judgement.

good thread about dudes whose grift is “we’re visionaries!” when they’re really clown-grade hustlers

i don't like sweet coffee drinks but will i be putting the left over whipped cream in my coffee until it's gone yes the answer is yes

@profanity.accountant count

Most Punchable Face

ice is using uber stickers on their cars as a disguise heads up pdx

Always love to see great talent using their platform for unabashed good.

I've put it off too long In three days we won't have money for heating fuel, feed, or groceries. We're basically fucked. I need a goal of $2000 by the end of November, about $500 of that needs to be immediate, and we've never made a goal before. Please help. Venmo/cashapp: BurdockAndBramble

Delicious. Highly recommend... 2016 Quintarelli Rosso Ca' del Merlot

Support Tyler, buy a cool shirt! I got this one a couple of weeks ago. 👍

I have more than 60 designs. I've only made the femme cut shirts and sweatshirts out of shirts that have sold at least once, but if you want something in a different style I will take requests! I've already sold a lot, thank you! But I don't make much from each shirt, so I need to sell more!

$40 for a linen dish towel? I will not.

i like my pumpkin pie bland. i said bland, people! less ginger, less cinnamon. more whipped cream. thank you for your attention to this matter!

Thanks Elon, nice ride. 😉

😭 guys I been laughing since last night

DO NOT TRUST SPACEX

it’s totally normal for breasts to be uneven

I can't be racist, I have a black cat

Happy Chompsgiving!

this year, i am thankful for the nuclear block! so many pedants *poof* just gone

A professional shef just for you 🙃

Breakfast menu: Dungeness crab Benedicts DInner: crispy duck breast and mushroom risotto take your statins people!

Nuremberg

🤨

WHO GIVES A SHIT if dude is beleaguered, overwhelmed, tired poopy pants? He's also"just following orders" and it's too much to hope that he will suffer any consequences.

Laura Loomer’s Wikifeet page

I’m glad my husband has a big dick so he doesn’t feel the need to buy a cybertruck

Pumpkin pie is a vegetable. I will not be taking comments.

Wholesome

a left-of-center charles murray type who argues that we must stop blaming the myriad problems of southern whites on their diseased culture and instead accept that southern whites are genetically inferior

Prison for border patrol and ice agents, The Hague for Kristi Noem and Stephen Miller.

Though I live in CA, I pay for a sub for my dad and I ignored the requests for donations for this. I just wasn't paying attention but i will donate now and in the future. The Tribune does great investigative reporting and everyone in the state should have access to it.

Remember last year when we said we would drop The Tribune's paywall if we raised enough money to support the transition to free? About that… 😁

please share the footage philip

a few of my favorite snowy owl shots from yesterday in Chicago #birds 🪶

my two last braincells