So @jimmycigarillos.bsky.social won tickets to an advanced screening of the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. He and his wife, myself and my husband all go and sit down in the theater and realize it’s 3 hours long and raptured ourselves right out of there and over to Maggiano’s for dinner instead 😂

Guys, I got raptured but Jesus pulled up my my old tweets and sent me right back down

If you have an extra $10 a month to spare, here's a list of worker-owned cooperative news sites you might want to support: • 404 Media • Defector • The Flytrap • Flaming Hydra • The Appeal • Aftermath • Racket • Hell Gate • The 51st • The Colorado Sun • Range Media • Discourse Blog • Pop Heist

I thought maybe my boss got raptured but he was just late :(

Can't tell yet if no rapture or just that no one in Philadelphia is deserving.

Bader’s booty going to heaven FOR SURE

When do they start arresting the surviving WW2 vets

They hate Tylenol but guarantee they are gonna buy the dip they just created

Please do not ever take medical advice from some who is orange.

If you, like me, are the parent of a neuro-atypical child dreading this autism press conference, please remember: These are the people hurting our kids. Not us. They are the ones stigmatizing and pathologizing them. They are the ones peddling untested science. And we should be very, very angry.

hi, medical toxicologist that knows a lot about Tylenol here👋 Claiming that tylenol use in pregnancy causes autism is fearmongering here's what you need to know 🧵

we should wrap ourselves in the flag while defending trans rights. it says in our founding documents that we are all equal and to say that any of us are not goes up against what america is supposed to stand for. real patriots support trans rights. otherwise you're unamerican.

Does everyone just call him Sexy Dexy

something that can bring all walks of life together, regardless of other differences… the cowboys are real bad.

Mets fans blaming pride night and Chappell Roan for their downfall is the best thing ever. I couldn't ask for more.

Watching Jordan Davis run in for that touchdown

ready for some football

Game of Flags

Last time I saw Bernie was at the BSH/PHLY draft party this past summer. He told me I “look like Jesus” which is not true but extremely funny.

one of the nicest humans (by all accounts) is responsible for one of the hardest images ever.

Bernie Parent was a larger than life personality and will be missed by the entire hockey community.

So sad to hear about the passing of Bernie Parent. A real legend and super nice guy. May his memory be a blessing

Police in New Hampshire say a shooting at a country club has left multiple gunshot victims.

wow that fucking sucks yeah no audience, my wife and I did a Bluesky-exclusive fundraiser for kids in foster care (which Republicans, as you the politics knower knows, don't give a shit about) and raised $50k in 24 hours on here

Had a bunch of these dudes in my parsley this year. This is what they turn into … pretty cool.

He cronch

i don’t think people on bluesky understand the severity of this situation. i woke up to literally hundreds of texts from friends and family thinking about either moving back home to india or applying to other countries for jobs. this includes me.

i dont care how purple your district is. hell i dont care if youre a democrat in a blood red district. there's no reason to "honor" someone who said THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO SERVE ON THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT WAS AN UNQUALIFIED AFFIRMATIVE ACTION HIRE. period.

Bored? Let Sinclair Broadcast Group’s employees know that they’re a bunch of wretched cunts by contacting them at their publicly available email addresses and telephone numbers:

Every evening show needs to take a swipe and let them cancel it all. Cancel everything until there’s just reruns of some children’s show for their voters to watch.

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

CROCKETT: When I say that you are the least qualified FBI director in the history of the FBI, that is real, because you are the only one that never even served with the FBI PATEL: That's false CROCKETT: I didn't ask you a question

It is the job of the Democratic party to sell and defend the policies that most Democratic voters want, not to present a candidate slate that is palatable to moderate Republicans who might switch if they hate their own candidate enough.

He has three sons

Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score

Yeah, the only reason we're hearing about this person is because they (might) be trans. The press is just bringing this up to try to tie trans people to something we had nothing to do with.

New scam alert

A Black man and a homeless man were found hanging from trees in Mississippi yesterday, for those who haven’t seen yet because it’s barely made it out of local news.

Trump: everyone in the US died from drugs last week Reporter: [nods] Trump: so we must murder on the high seas Reporter: [nods] Trump: I caught Trix rabbit once Reporter: [nods] Trump: the cock on that bunny Reporter: [nods] Trump: bigger than you think Headline: Trump Policy Seeks To Save Lives

There’s a cricket somewhere in my office and this may be what finally drives me insane

Produce that statistic, Me. Vice President

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

If I may suggest an improvement

Corresponding video proof:

Eat shit, Mahomes

Thanks, Trav!