When I think citrus, I think Cheez-its!

I yelled “AND LADIES SHE’LL LOVE IT TOO” at Frank Thomas as he crossed the concourse at CBP and if looks could kill…….

Oooo that was nice.

Could you imagine Jimmy The Greek holding up an UberEats bag and shilling for them right before kickoff?

Aaron Rodgers is almost complete the late career Brett Favre speedrun, his final task is welfare fraud.

Oh gtfo with Google featuring the Kirks in their ads

Where the fuck is Chris Simm’s tie?

On second thought, DK should have hit him harder.

This game is unserious.

And now, coming to the stage to recite the Magna Carta, SLAYYYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRRRR

Man do I miss her.

Breaking:Netflix learning NFL QBs get hurt.

You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you?

Influencers will tout a hidden gem and it’s literally a McDonalds.

Are you a mediocre white person? You may be entitled to compensation. (Mostly rage bait from other mediocre white people, who are oppressed by their own mediocrity)

I know a tub of cheese balls hates to see me coming

I wonder how many people found out that Kansas City actually isn’t in Kansas today.

For a nominal salary, I will join your NFL coaching staff for the sole function of yelling at you “take a fucking time out you dumb ass”

It looks really bad, but with that being said, fans are getting way too comfortable acting like assholes to athletes who are quite capable of seriously hurting you with minimal effort.

Scooper DeJawn.

Real Magic (Ad made with AI)

You too can be coworkers with Dean Cain. It’s your patriotic duty.

Another shootout. Yay.

Are you a mediocre white dude scarred by your mediocrity? Call us now!

Speaking from experience, no one‘s that excited to go to Subway. Subway is like a depression meal. If I’m kidnapped and I’m sending out signals for help, I will most likely be holding a bag of Subway.

Auto suggest is infuriating because you will type a perfect sentence and it will change it automatically,forcing you to correct it, but then you make typos and it’s like “you figure it out, pal”

We had killed the google glass, why the fuck did we need to revive it?

Dude is basically running the country like he runs his businesses, which is to say the just shovels shit by the barrel.

Gotta kiss the power 5’s ring.

Once CBS News starts hemorrhaging ad money they’re gonna yeet Bari.

Above all else, remember that the US is a dominantly classist nation that is essentially dining and dashing the poor and underserved and the future populace.

It’s funny how people who are devout preachers of hustle culture, worship the laziest sack of shit rich people

I love the Ric Flair Carshield ads, and I will not apologize.

CARL! GOOD TO SEE YOU!

If you see this, we IMPLORE YOU to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.

HELL YEAH DONT SIT IN YOUR POWERLESS HOUSE LIKE A DUMB LIBRAL.

If I was one of the HOF candidates who didn’t make the cut because of Phillip Rivers, I’d be pissed.

Hello, the ladies.

It’s that time of year! It’s time for scam weight loss accounts!

When the day finally comes I may actually streak down Concord Pike from the PA border to the I-95 interchange.

Shout out to Ron Hextall for contributing to not one but two Pennsylvania National Hockey League franchises descent into mediocrity

Adios, Chiefs.

Didn’t think the Particle commercials could get more insufferable, and yet…..

I just want Donald Trump to accidentally confuse Google for social media and we get a post that says “Middle Eastern bubble asses”

Today I learned Harrison Bader is related to Scott Baio.

People designing hockey uniforms in the 30s? “You wanna put a big fucking letter B on the front?” “Sure, why not?”

Here’s your tribute, Carter.

TNT studio crew and hockey broadcast have come a long way. Light years ahead of ESPN.

I didn’t think it was possible but Hard Knocks is actually making hate the Cowboys more.