Starbucks Launches New Drink in Honour of the Late Charlie Kirk—A Lukewarm Flat White With a Single Shot bit.ly/wutf

Conservatives are threatening to boycott Starbucks and Disney for not crying hard enough for Charlie Kirk—the same companies they claimed to have already boycotted for being too “woke.”

United Nations Delegates Shocked as Trump Concludes 278-Minute Incoherent Rant by Exposing His Genitals

MAGA Swears Off Tylenol After Trump Links the Pills to Autism—“I’ll Stick With Trusted Acetaminophen, Thanks”

Trump Links Autism to Diet Coke Consumption

Local Woman Amazed That Acting Like a Cunt Actually Results in People Calling Her a Cunt

Laura Loomer Declines to Comment on Rumours She’ll Return as the Infamous Puppet in Upcoming Saw Sequel

Marlaina Danielle Kolodnicki knows it’s unconstitutional, which is why she has invoked the notwithstanding clause to override the Charter rights of a marginalized minority. But I wouldn’t expect anything else from this right-wing cunt.

You don’t have to give up Star Warts or Lion Queens—just sail the open seas!

Bored? Let Sinclair Broadcast Group’s employees know that they’re a bunch of wretched cunts by contacting them at their publicly available email addresses and telephone numbers:

The man from the government just needs to make sure you have a pussy, sweetheart.

Attorney General Pam Bondi Rushes to Reassure MAGA—“You’ll Still Be Able to Yell Slurs at Blacks and Queers”

Conservative: The gov’t should just kill homeless people. Conservatives: You’re taking his words out of context! Liberal: Hateful words sometimes lead to hateful actions. Conservatives: DEPORT THEM! HARASS THEIR EMPLOYERS! PERMANENT SOCIAL MEDIA BANS! REVOKE THEIR LICENSES! SHUT BUSINESSES DOWN!

And yet, somehow, conservatives are clutching their pearls when we laugh at Charlie Kirk’s new neck piercing?

Spirit Halloween Rushes “Zombie Podcaster” Costumes to Shelves Nationwide to Meet Anticipated Demand

Widow of Charlie Kirk Promises to Continue His Legacy—“His Hateful Rhetoric Made Our Family So Much Money”

Suck my cunt, snowflake.

It feels good to be alive.

I’m not saying there’s a list, but if there is a list, I hope that Stephen Miller is high on that list.

BREAKING: Local Cunt Accidentally Sets World Record for Consecutive Slurs WASHINGTON—According to the Guinness Book of World Records, a visibly angry woman set a new national record after stringing together more racial, ethnic, and sexual slurs in a single rant than any other person before her.

BREAKING: Trump Orders Americans to Lower Their Gums to Half-Mast in Honour of Charlie Kirk

DEVELOPING: Candace Owens Seen Fleeing Utah Valley University Moments After Charlie Kirk

Leave it to PP to insert himself into every fucking situation.

COMING UP: We Ask WUTF-69’s Dr. Vinnie Boombatz if the COVID-19 Vaccine Could Have Caused Charlie Kirk’s Death

BREAKING: Doctors Tried to Stop Charlie Kirk’s Bleeding With Pages From Mein Kampf Before Resorting to Thoughts and Prayers

I’ve got at least another half dozen jokes before I move on to something else.

Pour one out for the homie. RIP Charlie. #splat

EXCLUSIVE: Charlie Kirk Sits Down With Ashli Babbitt for Her First One-on-One Interview Since Storming the U.S. Capitol

If you don’t like my posts celebrating the death of a disgusting right-wing podcaster, hit that unfollow button. I don’t care. He got exactly exactly what he had coming to him. Thoughts and prayers.

BREAKING: Charlie Kirk Adopts Pronouns Was/Were in Bold New Identity Shift

It seems as though violence is the only option.

Donald Trump is a pedophile. Melania Trump is a mail-order whore. Donald Trump Jr. is a coke addict. Eric Trump is a fucking idiot. Ivanka Trump is a complicit cunt. Barron Trump is an awkward loser. I think that covers all the Trumps.

Russia, Russia, Russia is the reason America is collapsing.

Rapist apologist Nancy Mace and her crocodile tears can eat my whole cunt.

Trump Reportedly Dead for Months—Nation Has Been Governed by Stephen Miller in Custom-Made Skin Suit 🍊💀🧛🏻🧥 bit.ly/wutf

Vice President JD Vance Has Testicles Removed—“I’ve Got No Use for These” bit.ly/wutf

Die soon, clementine cunt.

Drop me a list of Republicans on Bluesky so I can call them a cunt.

Satan is still dangling his hairy balls on her chin. Rot in hell, treasonous cunt.

Thoughts and prayers, right, Republicans?

Cracker Barrel’s New Logo Puts Cheesy Cracker Front and Centre bit.ly/wutf

NY civil fraud case. Trump University. Trump Foundation. 34 felony counts for falsifying business records over hush money to a porn star. And that orange cunt wants to talk about fraud?

Once Obama is re-elected, he’s going to throw so many MAGA cultists into concentration camps to make them think about what they’ve done. Use the wrong pronouns? Jail. Wearing a red hat? Jail. He’ll deport Trump’s mail-order bridge to Angola. All their kids will be sent to Guantanamo. It’ll be great.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.

All of my hours consist of darkness.

Well?

Ship Trump’s mail-order bride to Mozambique.

I’m surprised someone hasn’t just staked out ICE parking garages. Not that I would condone that.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, some idiot Trump voter will believe it.

I’m not sure if this is true or not, but we’re in a post-truth world, so…