Oh, it’s real—we interviewed the love seat who needed years of therapy and upholstery cleaning just to feel love again.

The last thing your sofa sees before @jd-vance-1.bsky.social tries fucking it:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney Dies bit.ly/wutf

I’m Latrice, and I’m the whole show.

I shit you not, this is on the official White House website. America is not a serious country. www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-wh...

Sex Pest Prince Andrew Considers Presidential Bid After Being Stripped Of Royal Title bit.ly/wutf

Donald J. Trump is a child rapist.

At least the fans in the stadium are getting their money’s worth. #mlb

Maybe he’ll die soon.

After WWII, the Nazis fled Germany for Argentina—Trump is pumping billions into Argentina so MAGA has a nice country to flee to after Obama gets elected in 2028.

BREAKING: @homelandgov.bsky.social finally deports Trump’s mail-order whore back to wherever the fuck she’s from

“And I’ll vote for him again in 2028!”

Illegal gambling ring shut down? Awesome. Now release the Epstein files.

Why are all the pedophiles anti-gay, anti-trans, “family values” conservatives?

People keep sharing obviously staged videos like they’re real. Took me 15 seconds on Google Gemini to find Reuters already debunked those clips. “In response to an Instagram message, he said that he was the creator and that ‘the video is not real,’ explaining it was created as ‘viral’ content.”

BREAKING: Antifa extremists plow through innocent counter-protesters at the “No Kings” march in Charlottesville. Oh—that’s right...

This Nazi is 30-years-old:

My type? That teacher from The Sixth Sense.

I like when Trump does things that end up hurting his base. It’s funny.

Stephen Miller Spent Columbus Day Yelling Racial Slurs At Washington Animal Shelter bit.ly/wutf

When he’s not busy fucking sofas, JD Vance likes to gargle on his boss’ balls.

Law and order president.

Man Shocked to Learn Karoline Leavitt Is Only 28 bit.ly/wutf

Fake News up 800% Since 1811 bit.ly/wutf

Drug Boats Spotted Off Florida Coast bit.ly/wutf

MAGA logic: kids ——— consenting adults

Violent Asian Gang Detained by ICE bit.ly/wutf

The “Land of the Free” has border checkpoints within 100 miles of any international border? So freeing.

Oh, how the pedoph—sorry, mighty—have fallen.

Trump Grabs Himself by the Neck-Pussy bit.ly/wutf

The only part of a male’s body that should be circumcised:

Is he dead yet?

Donald Trump Claims GMA Dove Award Artist of the Year Accepted the Prize on His Behalf bit.ly/wutf

Local Man Turns Ad Tracking Back On Hoping to End Relentless Barrage of bet365 Adverts bit.ly/wutf

Who first thought to jerk off a maple tree and eat whatever came out?

White House Extends “Deep Condolences” To Family of Convicted Paedophile Ian Watkins bit.ly/wutf

Antifa Mob Attacks Officers bit.ly/wutf

Kraft Heinz Shares Skyrocket After Trump Fails To Be Awarded Nobel Peace Prize bit.ly/wutf

Trump Claims Son Barron Trump’s Autism A Direct Result Of Melania Being Circumcised bit.ly/wutf

Can’t wait to read his obituary.

Hawley Wins 3rd Annual “Bitch Sprint” bit.ly/wutf

Howard Lutnick Insists Canada Must Come Second—or Like His Wife—not Come At All bit.ly/wutf

Don Jr. Pleads with Father to Stop Blowing up His Nose Candy after Latest Venezuelan Strike bit.ly/wutf

Does Toothpaste Make You Trans? bit.ly/wutf

Trump Deploys Vermont National Guard to New Hampshire to Combat Colorado Crime bit.ly/wutf

Don’t worry EA—we’ll keep playing your games, we’re just not paying for them.

Is Charlie Kirk Still Dead? bit.ly/wutf

Did Maye Musk Take One Too Many Tylenol? bit.ly/wutf

Kristi Noem has MAGA Face Repossessed after Failing to Keep up with Monthly Payments bit.ly/wutf

Shouldn’t she go piss on a patch of grass like every other bitch?