Declined the cousin walk. Having regrets.

Fine, I'll participate.

”The thing is this wasn’t really a catch-and-kill operation as described—I don’t even think there’s a term for what this was,” I say as I pour gravy on my fourth slice of pumpkin pie. My wife has filed for divorce and one of my cats is packing her belongings in a suitcase, but I persist.

Nothing but respect for this, because I already know that I am going to drink too much and look at my phone. But who knows, maybe a few minutes with a hand mixer and a meat thermometer (in between looking at my phone) will also heal my brain. There's a first for everything!

The worst part of all of this is that it's only fueling my father's decades long conspiracy theories about the NFL being entirely kayfabe and now I am going to have to hear about it all weekend.

Go birds!

I’ve often called this song—“Just Like Heaven”—the finest single of the 80s and meant it. This cover’s arrangement only confirms it for me 💜🔥

Very amused by these posters touting the attractions of Ambler, PA with scenes that are very decidedly not in Ambler. Also, the posters are not in Ambler.

When you are loved and respected by the American people

Very amused by these posters touting the attractions of Ambler, PA with scenes that are very decidedly not in Ambler. Also, the posters are not in Ambler.

This is like watching a stress dream from law school but in real life.

I've been to a handful of Michelin starred restaurants, and based on empirical evidence, I am pretty sure the reason Philly fell short is that the spots here do not have enough creative table side set ups for ladies to stow their purses!

Mmmm...

So that's why he's called the head of state

Every piece of reporting by and about that lady immediately makes me think of Gillian Flynn's "Cool Girl" monologue.

More evidence for the "everyone is 12 now" theory. "Mommy will be here to take care of me forever and ever" is the thought of a child. Only a child would be soothed by this simulacrum of care and connection, and even that's debatable.

Well, it's a little clearer now why billionaires are so invested in technology that produces better written emails.

& it’s self-reinforcing. Believing that girls will never be capable of really contributing to human knowledge, culture, civilization means that it’s ok for your bros to use them as sex toys. Using girls as sex toys cuts off their opportunities to learn & grow & contribute to the world. Around we go.

I should stop—just one last thing. It makes total sense that a guy who believes women are cognitively inferior to men would be part of all this. The common factor is a total incuriosity about the inner lives of women and girls. This, too, is something Garcia notes among the Pelicot defendants

Does anyone doing this ever have a single incident from this century to whine about?

Hang on kid! Don't be scared!

You better watch your back, Bryce Harper! This is a baaaaad man!

This is painfully embarrassing. Goofy, LARPing weirdo who can't distinguish HBO shows from real life. Guy who absolutely knows he's not really that guy, because never in a million years would he say this with his name attached. Bryce never has that problem.

Lando needs to spend some time at home after the race season because incredible things are happening with his accent rn

KIMI???? Kimi!!!!

Feel like there is genuine risk of blood spill in the Redbull paddock rn

Oh no, I have committed the gravest of all BlueSky sins (making a mild joke in the replies of a popular account). Currently being thoroughly punished for this transgression.

This is fake news. I haven't seen an employee at a Target store in like a decade.

Further proof that the internet is culturally Philadelphia

As with Bernhard Goetz in the mid-1980s, juries are sympathetic towards Subway vigilantes.

Important follow up info here is that he says in a subsequent post that auntie took him in after his parents kicked him out for being queer and he repays her by posting her private communications and insulting her on the internet. We are going to keep winning because these are bad and stupid people.

Less than ten words in before he started talking about Eugene Debs. What a fascinating evening!

It’s so rare that we wake up to good news and go to bed with good news. What a great day

Lots of talk about his ability to connect with voters, but between this and the 2am gay club visits, Zohran is really demonstrating that at least one thing he doesn't understand about his millennial supporters is their bed time.

mamdani is human. he'll fuck up and fail, especially with a hostile press and the giant mess that is nyc's politics. but today is a great day for the brave women who told what cuomo did, and for those of us who care that it should matter. that power shouldn't go to those who hurt the poweless.

Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen.

Yeah I talked waaaay to much shit to friends in LA and am now just resorting to blocking phone numbers for a few hours I guess.

welcome to the resistance here is your bluesky account and your free mlb extra innings account for some reason

Me: why do I feel so sick to my stomach? Also me: chasing mezcal with worms

There are signs and wonders everywhere

Ok now I have to go to a parade and somehow not die

Fast

Ok, well THIS is going to be a problem...

That's right.

Let's goooooo

Tfw you find the perfect ranchera karaoke bar and you never, EVER want to leave.

Yep, that's me and my friends loudly shouting GO BRIDS! and doing EAGLES chants on the streets of a foreign country in response to seeing a random Mexican man in a Hurts jersey who had nooooo idea what was happening.

This trip also includes cars.

They're filling El Zócalo with truckloads and truckloads of marigolds for everyone's ofrendas and it is so surreal and so so beautiful.

About to do a thing...👀