Yesterday my dad asked me if Spike Lee is from New York

It really really bothers me that no one in this room has a chivalrous bone in their body, especially since this horse-blowing pedophile would cower, cry, and probably shit himself the moment anyone there stood up to him.

looking good my guy

Wife: Please listen.. I am tired… The chores are piling up Husband: (looking up from Conan the Barbarian novelette) By Crom! You hector me like a Kushite copper merchant! Though you yourself are as comely as a Hercanian courtesan.. Aah, you flee from me like a Shemite sellsword.. Babe.. Woman..

Wishing a joyous 83rd birthday to the legendary Martin Scorsese!

I like to think he saw Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind.

It's wild that the director of Happy Feet 2 has met the pope and I have not

He should frame it and hang it next to a Carvaggio

My kids are doing Mitch Hedberg jokes instead of going to sleep

Women in 80s slashers love calling their boyfriend a “jerk”

over on the twits we're talking about Spreggnog

Time to open the addiction app that tells me bad news

They should make Swann's Way starring Ryan Reynolds and Michelle Rodriguez

They should make Swann's Way starring Ryan Reynolds and Michelle Rodriguez

I think one of the attractions of British spy stuff is that American spy stuff tends too much to the fascist. Le Carré can write about stoic bureaucrats with failing marriages, Tom Clancy has to write about karate champions who end up as the president.

My annual warning

Which border is Charlotte on

Got bored and made lobster Colorado

The important thing is not whether the Trump performing sexual favors for Bill Clinton thing is true. The important thing is that we all pretend it’s true, and that someone asks Trump about it every day.

When you stop paying the subscription fee they don't cancel it but they put your dead loved one in hell and you get unskippable video of them burning and begging for you to save them every single hour of the day.

I took the liberty of adding a few more of these back to the shop because everyone has someone on their gift list they'd like to lightly poison with an omelet 🍄 www.brianna-ashby.com/new-products...

I cannot read that email as anything but an obvious joke? But on the other hand I can't think of much else that would embarrass and enrage Trump more than this rumor so I'll allow it

I think it’s cool that 4’33” is still pissing people off. I saw it first hand in a music class I took in my undergrad program. People got viscerally angry about it.

Do the Twilight vampires ever vampire anyone or are they just social outcasts with special powers like the X-Men

Starting to look like the GOP didn't want this stuff to come out because they were covering for the NYT

These are the emails he sent while on VACATION??

My new Galaxy brain take is Trump knows there's not much more in the files about him personally but has been acting maximally guilty for months to get everyone to put all their chips in on release

pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes

retweet for a cozy and bountiful winter

Finding it hard to get worked up about a 72hr suspension either way

My new Galaxy brain take is Trump knows there's not much more in the files about him personally but has been acting maximally guilty for months to get everyone to put all their chips in on release

enjoying how people defending Sarah Kendzior and people vilifying Sarah Kendzior both feel vindicated by the exact same bsky mod post

Dear Jeffrey,

How are they not better prepared for this

I have some questions about enforcement

this truly is one of the absolute worst decisions the supreme court has ever made. there's obviously others on the list along with it, but castle rock v gonzales belongs on the bottom 10

how can you tell it's musk

irritated by how all the wealthy and powerful pedophiles in the world can't write a coherent email

who up pondering the infinite

Here comes our healthcare

boop

TFW u open BlueSky and a bunch of ppl are vaguely posting about the same shit

Fun fact: Gordon Lightfoot wrote the song first, and then sank the Edmund Fitzgerald himself in what has come to be recognized as one of the first viral marketing stunts

Help mom I’m being bullied by 87 year old novella writer Joyce Carol Oates again can you pick me up

Seeing so many people discover today that the Edmund Fitzgerald went down in the 1970s and not in like 1847

slappin' this on the impreza

Reading Hegel's The Philosophical Propaedeutic and scratching my head the whole time so the people on the bus know I don't understand it