Some news on David Levinson's involvement in the activities at Area 51 from @hollyanderson.bsky.social. Levinson and his father drove from the White House to inform the President of the hijacking of American satellites by the alien invaders ahead of the attack on Washington yesterday. #ID4

El Toro reports the helicopter has loaded survivors, as well as a surviving dog that avoided being incinerated nor shot, and flown away, back in the direction from which it came. We have no confirmation whether this was Captain Hiller's hijacked vehicle we reported on hours ago.

EMS on the ground is reporting that a helicopter has landed at the wrecked base in Irvine. The pilot has approached and embraced one of the survivors that arrived at El Toro earlier.

President Whitmore has called off additional nuclear strikes on other alien targets. The nuclear counteroffensive has been aborted.

So my older one just had a great point - every flop should be a yellow, but you can negate it by delivering a convincing soliloquy

lmao jd everything else aside the "most senior catholic in US government" is sam alito's crazy ass you stupid vestigial useless bitch

average rugby player after receiving literally bone-crunching tackle: bit of a hard one there average football player after being lightly brushed: alack! alack sir, I die! I perish! foully slain! cut down in my youth by the cruel scythes of evil men!

We unfortunately have to rescind the earlier report of the nuclear strike in Houston being successful. Military reconnaissance on the ground indicates that the ship was unfazed by the weapon. The target remains. We repeat: Target Remains.

The whole internet loves truffle cat, a lovely cat who innocently digs holes just to feel like part of a mushroom foraging team! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the cat was generated by AI

A USAF source confirms that a nuclear weapon has been fired on the alien spacecraft over Houston, Texas. My god…

ICYMI Missouri very quietly passed into law the forced detransition of prison inmates as part of a Department of Corrections budget change in HB 2009. forcing someone to detransition is torture at best and murder at worst. guillotines.

the rhabdomyolysis exhibit at the great american state fair was one of the best attended demonstrations

when you use hospital ships berthed in foreign waters to set in motion demographic change through birthright citizenship that eventually overthrows reactionary sovereignty that's seedsteading Kelsey go to water jail

Oh no! 100 people who are required to pay income taxes and will use no social programs! Whatever will we do with the extra tax revenue?

🫵😡 HEY!! THAT MOTHERFUCKER DOESN'T HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT THE TAYLOR SWIFT WEDDING! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!!

Repeating from earlier: President Whitmore has ordered a nuclear strike against the invading alien force, the decision apparently being deal with the nuclear fallout or face total extermination. We will update as soon as we get further information on the nuclear decision.

Capt. Steven Hiller, the Marine we talked about earlier, has reportedly hijacked a helicopter on the ground at Area 51 & left the site against orders. He is said to have flown west upon takeoff. No signs that he was followed by any U.S. personnel. A guard claims Hiller hit him.

Just plain rude

It was so great to join kids, families, and neighbors in Lemon Grove to celebrate America’s 250th birthday. This weekend is a reminder of all the values our country was founded on — freedom, equality, justice, and self-governance — that we’re still working toward.

Really interesting development

You owe it to yourself to listen to this with the sound on.

Possibly if you thought the church needed you so badly you should not have spent the last 40 years screaming "You're not my REAL Pope" at the guys who were, in fact, your real Popes

We knew they'd go for cope and self-justification but this is some HIGH QUALITY cope

There’s a technical term for “the most senior Catholic in the U.S. government.” In the Church, they call that a “layperson.”

guys there's 30-50 feral babies on a hospital ship in my backyard

The situation is so dire in Houston tonight that even Lakewood Church and Joel Osteen’s bitch ass is taking in the homeless this evening at their monstrosity of a sanctuary on East Houston Road. Building that big, they’ll never need to expand. Rebuild after tonight, sure, but…

Armed B-2 bombers have left from NAS Fort Worth and are headed toward Houston. We presume this is where the first attempt at a nuclear strike will take place.

new metaphor just dropped

It literally is all just organized crime

I get why it rankles and we do own it on some level but the most straightforward path to defeat Nightmare America from within is a vision of America the Beautiful

…no. No he is not

This is an NYPD problem. Like, I get that the event is a Taylor thing, but this is unusual for any MSG event never mind a Taylor concert or appearance. The cops are doing this. Please focus on the cops figuring out that they did this for Trump going to a NBA game and now they just do it whenever

This is expressly the party for people who didn't like that Die Linke wouldn't let them be racist

i'm hearing that at the sacrifice today, the entrails slipped from Trump's hands at the altar AND it was revealed that it wasn't a true white bull, but had been painted white

can you IMAGINE if they did that to the pope whose first encyclical was about how AI is destroying humanity

I take my role as Vatican TMZ very seriously 😂 this whole thing is so soapy and chaotic that we should all get to enjoy it but I also believe it is also a net good for the world even outside the church! reeeeeeally curious what Vance does next

you know, I am starting to believe we shan’t be seeing many of those handwritten apology letters which may have been the point; if the choices are A) admit they were wrong and humble themselves, or B) say “fuck you” and flounce, maybe the Vatican is gambling on a robust purge of terrible people

today I have had four burgers, hung out with friends by a pool, and watched one of the best soccer games I’ve ever seen this is the country I love

They would have gone with their first choice but Paulie Shore is a schismatic.

important heat-intolerant jew representation for this heat wave. feeling seen

things in the UK are so bad that the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office needs to find a second job

The code for this historic, unprecedented military action was apparently "1-2-3-4-5."

A military source says that the President has formally entered the nuclear launch codes and has ordered a strike against alien crafts. We have reports of ships currently located near Kansas City, Seattle, and Houston.

That said, calls to DC EMS are up 20% across the board in the heat wave. An ALS unit being called out could just be a function of who's available in an all-hands heat crisis for the city.

I'm seeing a lot of claims that X number of State Fair goers in DC ended up ON advanced life support, but that's undetermined. We know that X number of patients were attended to by Advanced Life Support teams, which usually means the dispatcher thinks the person might need more advanced care.

When an EMS call in DC is for Advanced Life Support, that describes the level of training of the EMS team--Advanced Life Support vs. Basic Life Support--not the treatment that the patient got.

normally its pretty hack to manifest moral corruption with physical decay but I'll allow it here