sad to see that manchester city have bottled the premier league, we have to ask questions about their mental fortitude, am i doing this right?

HECK YES to these #ACMS veterans for their Leicester Comedy Festival award nominations: Best New Show Andrew White! @caitrionadowden.bsky.social! Luke Rollason! @maxfulham.bsky.social! Toussaint Douglass! Best Show @alexkealy.bsky.social! @joznorris.bsky.social! www.chortle.co.uk/other-news/2...

This is not a reasoned political response. Labour has spent two years making all the voting groups who backed the Greens feel unwelcome and unheard, and now attacks them for daring to back someone else. They believe Labour isn’t listening and Starmer seems determined to prove them right

Yeah, it is basically the same dynamic of 'it's easy, you just promise everything and don't even try to get electoral consent for whichever tradeoff you want to make', and then getting into government and going 'oh my god, this is hard'.

Excited to see Phil Wang's Work in Progress show tonight at 8pm at The 99 Club. There are still a handful of tickets left if you fancy it. He's also being supported by the excellent @alexkealy.bsky.social and I'm MCing so it should be a great night! fixr.co/event/phil-w...

Peter Mandelbrot. It’s just infinite scandals the more you zoom in.

Don’t count your chickening-out before it’s hatched.

Save the world or make a fortune? Dr Matt Winning is sitting on a mega ultimatum in a hospital car park. Oh and his son is being born as we speak…and he’s desperate for a piss. @mattywin.bsky.social Solastalgia is here for two nights only - Mon 16 - The 17 Feb. See you there? buff.ly/uYfY8X3

Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it

I cannot tell you how absolutely infuriatingly this stuff comes across to Europeans. When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.

Brooklyn Beckham's first dance

when the bare minimum is a treachery red flag

ive seen more articles this week about how the phrase “abolish ice” could hurt dems in the midterms than ive seen articles about how paramilitary death squads terrorizing cities will hurt republicans in the midterms

telling the secret police they have immunity to harm & kill citizens really lays bare the hollowness of decades of right-wing GOP screeching about encroaching Big Government - it was never a problem they had with government per se, just that it wasn't being used to harm the people they wanted to

The 'give ice qr codes' thing reminds me of when Sarah Everard was murdered by a real policeman using his real police id to kidnap her, and the police & gvt made out the solution was to have a helpline to check that the person bundling you away was a real policeman (as the murderer was)

And the BBC package ends with some crap about ‘in these politically charged times, dualling narratives’ WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS GOING ON!?! There is no dual narratives An innocent woman was shot dead and the Trump administration is lying about THAT in the story

Things are awful, so a little treat for the real Crush-Heads. It is now eleven years since I got this printed in the Metro.

Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One https://theonion.com/every-trait-disqualifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/

I did not escape the Love Actually virus this year ♥️🦠

the two genders

🆕 PODCAST OUT NOW 🆕 Comedian, writer and podcaster @alexkealy.bsky.social joined us to quiz about holiday destinations, dancefloor fillers and tab misusage. 🎙️ Listen now: buff.ly/41WpO4z And you can WATCH the podcast on Spotify

❌❌ THIS WEEK'S QUIZ HAS CLOSED ❌❌ Did you top the leaderboard? The first place to find out is on tomorrow's podcast with the hilarious @alexkealy.bsky.social. Out first thing in all the usual places. 🎙️ Podcast subscribe: buff.ly/41WpO4z

Couldn't remember Jon Hamm's name or the name of his character. So I made a discovery

Kids vs Grandkids

It's real "Sam Gamgee boarding an Elven ship at the grey havens because he was ringbearer for half an hour" energy

My super modern regulatory plan is that any entity named for a thing from Tolkien has to publicly explain why Tolkien wouldn’t immediately throw it into Mount Doom

"you have a room temperature IQ" me, knowing that is 293 in Kelvin, the SI unit for temperature: th...thank you

Whereas my chest hair situation is...5. And you shouldn't have a countable amount of chest hair.

Posting before Life of a Showgirl critical consensus moves up from 2 stars, might delete later #taylorswift #thelifeofashowgirl❤️‍🔥 #standupcomedy #comedy #jokes #standup

I love this. The purest essence of Kemi - incredibly wrong, bizarrely belligerent about it, and also wrong in a way where you just go “have you considered reading anything other than your Twitter feed?”

to avoid confusion I have made a little table of Mitford siblings

All these bizarre Kirk civilwashing pieces really are the logical endpoint of a decade where the constant invocation of free speech always seemed to involve wild obfuscations of what the speech actually was.

listened to the first 3 seconds of the teaser single for the Nine Inch Nails Tron soundtrack and let out a giddy giggle like a pastiche of a horny french waiter

ruh-roh

Posting this mostly as proof of life

Manchester United: 2013-present

Grimsby win on penalties!

would love Labour and the Tories' objections to Farage's deportation proposals not be respectively "impractical" and "plagiarism"

A lot of people seem to have convinced themselves that the Starmer strategy is a deliberate masterly inactivity. It's not, but even if it were, no winning government has ever gone quiet and just gone 'well, the opposition is just self-defining as extreme'. They went out and labelled it as such.

The mafia live on TV.

Bruce counting the band back in to restart the song at 3.03 after the fake-out ending is one of the great moments in music history

alright what's the dumbest thing we can get 500 people to go outside and protest about in the next few weeks, think there's a point we have to make here I'm thinking "bring forward the full release of Hades 2" but I'm open to ideas

Let me give you a list of Reform UK promises and the diametrically opposite reality they will lead to if implemented. (1/?)

Me when Melvyn Bragg retires and Radio 4 inevitably replaces him with Amol Rajan to host In Our Time

And warm down with Calais or Eindhoven

The audio can be heard as "flashes" Elon Musk's Grok AI is amplifying the conspiracy theory. The X site continues to present a clear and present danger to the national security of our country, in both its acts and omissions, being a site which amplifies conspiracies & defends unlawful hatred

At some point, surely, somebody in the oh-so-clever "everything will be okay, remember how Macron won the French Presidency?" strategy meetings is going to have this moment, surely, SURELY

The perverse priorities of the Coldplay kisscam story