They did, and so did my father. Our job is to become everything they weren't. Our duty is to make things better for the next generations.

Remember when Roc was in jail and told that dude he was a garbage man?

milk

Billy the Kid’s full name is Billy Goat The Baby Goat

Hot Hot Heat

How come nobody told me the gelato so good!?!?!?

Normalize booing like a ghost

Just learned about the American cheese caves.

There is a tongue-in-cheek unit of volume called the Hubble-barn, equal to the volume of a cylinder with cross-sectional area of one barn (100 fm^2 - about the size of a uranium nucleus) and height of one Hubble length (14.4 billion light years). It works out to three and a half gallons.

Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children — theonion.com/pirates-unde...

August Fridays are for watching the State Farm Gamerhood.

EXEC 1: what are we calling our new drink? EXEC 2: may I present “Mountain Dew” EXEC 1: omg I love it, it it natural and crisp and refreshing like the name? EXEC 2: it will crash your central nervous system and make you glow in the dark EXEC 1: okay great

Costco just made a massive decision — it will not sell F-35 Advanced Fighter planes at any of its 500+ pharmacies. The move comes after pressure from faith-based activists… but the company says “no demand” was the reason. The debate is already on fire.

slightly diminish a band… Miami (OH) Sound Machine

My WorldCon schedule! See you soon, Seattle!

Destination Ursa Major

I am 10,000% here for A'ja's dad's birthday hat !!!

Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had theonion.com/man-who...

"Bluesky is dying" Oh yeah? Then explain why this GIF always does numbers.

Thanks Juan. That’s a start. #Mets

Hey Mets. Don’t get no hit. In fact, win this game somehow.

One film character that I wish was real, on account of having the right skills and moral framework to solve our current political predicament, is Black Dynamite

Mets I swear to god if you don’t fucking score

Earthquake!!

Apparently the locals call Chicago “Chiville”. Everyone here should just call it that but don’t tell anyone I told you to do it.

XKCD got their relevant comic out just in time (last Friday) xkcd.com/3123/

"stick to menswear"

No Angel today but still excited for the game!

Snack Oasis in Chicago Chinatown has some cool snacks.

Heading to my first WNBA game tonight. Phoenix vs Chicago!

I’ve thought about this my entire adult life and the answer is: Dig Me Out by Sleater-Kinney

I’m in Chicago for* Lollapalooza! *during.

Today is August 1. Asking an academic how their book is going is a felony.

Dude the Trade Deadline is wild

"Who here thinks this guy's too stupid"

Combat baby. Come back, baby. Fight off the lethargy. Don’t go quietly.

I'm drinking the Bios Crash slurpee I hope it crashes my bios I hope I blue screen

Not sure if electricity just flickered; or if I just died for a split second. We use semicolons every day.

Does he have a translator to take the fall for him?

Will Emmanuel Clase beat the charges, or will he be suspended for the remainder of the season? Lock in your prediction on Fanduel, official betting partner of MLB and the Cleveland Guardians. Use promo code CLASEACT to get $15 off your first bet.

The man predicted the future and he told you exactly how it was going to happen, too

#LastFourFriday Tremors (1990) Abby (1974) Black Dynamite (2009) I'm Gonna Get You Sucka (1988)

KMac got more than she bargained for 😬🫨

Shout out to Eve on her new business.

Incredible name found at the Vince Lombardi Rest Service Station

I’m never ever pissing assbutt off