mario kart is making us all racecar drivers

This is how every other country imagines life in America

Next time

it's like my entire timeline is posting "can you BELIEVE what they did to sesame street" and attached is simply a picture of big bird looking entirely normal

A new StarFox game should be animated in the style of Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox/Isle of Dogs. In this essay, I will...

Pro wrestlers make the company, not the other way around: aftermath.site/wwe-the-new-da...

we all know this is the website for retired elder millennial posters, it’s embarrassing enough as-is, you don’t have to hosepost about it

🫡

The Washington Generals would've done better.

Fact-checking what happened at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

"It's her best movie performance," I say, completely sincerely, about Cats. My eyes flare with a mad chaotic energy.

🎸 #LetterboxdFriday

everything I say is an artfully veiled sarcasm, a joke of such sophistication that anyone who falls into my meticulous trap of belief immediately reveals themselves a boorish rube of the highest caliber. whereas everything you say is an honest admission, a disgusting truth borne of an ugly soul

if this polling result surprises you, i am issuing emergency guidance for you to touch grass immediately

Um, actually, it's a tiny concert (short in length and minimal in scope and scale) at a normal to large size desk. Multiple performers have commented on the size of the desk over the yea... HEY NO DON'T STUFF ME INTO THIS LOCKER LET ME OUT AND GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES.

a powerful reminder of the grotesqueness of man's sinful nature, thank u sonic

Ask me about my physical media problem.

Keep looking to the future, avoid nostalgia bait, dial down the production values, more episodes, less serialization (but don't eliminate it entirely), stop trying to do action-adventure, avoid Whedonesque cutesy speak.

Salad is underrated as a breakfast option.

Armageddon postponed. As you were.

after a quick review of my timeline i feel the need to point to the sign

this would be an amazing way for It to happen

The only person who is normal about Taylor Swift is...Taylor Swift.

I like to imagine this is the 4th McElroy brother and they rightfully decided to just never acknowledge him.

3 stars is good actually

this is the chaplain btw. wonder why he was fired.

First artist, I think, that I've blocked on Spotify.

I love y'all but you gotta learn the value of saying "that's dumb" and then moving on with your day

I have no interest in this man’s problems

IS THIS A CLOVERFIELD MOVIE? (It's not. Probably.)

This is one of those movies I'm low-key going to be annoying about for some time.

price of tubi resigning yourself to sending ad money to murdoch family

I know this is why I never made it playing competitive sports past age 14 and I don't have heart or whatever, but I would just leave at halftime in this scenario.

Is this a good time to mention that my one complaint about Wake Up Dead Man is that the bad Catholic priest is acting like a Southern Baptist preacher?

you ever think about how they made a wonderful little Fletch movie where Jon Hamm got to be a silly goose and then it got buried into streaming hell and mostly forgotten?

I'm open to lots of dings about the experience here, but saying Bluesky is more emotional than Twitter is hilarious. The owner of Twitter bought it because he was mad at Twitter. He literally flew home to yell at his engineers when Joe Biden got more like than him on a post

Gonna hold on to this croissant metaphor for the rest of my creative life

Every day I collect another piece of supporting evidence for the idea that the pandemic made a dangerously large plurality, if not an outright majority, of Americans go absolutely feral. Zero sense of or interest in how to interact with other humans in shared spaces. None.