jalen hurts? is he okay?

The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture

we are making such strides in artificially aging actors. the industry is thriving

just learned about football, what do you mean they made holding illegal

becoming righteously furious at my father for not knowing who jack white is, despite hearing the seven nation army riff chanted at every single football game

"Hello Detroit, here is Tim Robinson and Sam Richardson!!"

MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes

promising start

did you know i have a substack where I talk about games? i do and i wrote about Bungie's sweet beautiful boy Lodi and the way he was engineered to be a DESTINY 2 player's best friend

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."

We spent the Iraq War era futilely arguing this point and he just tweeted it out.

I'm starting New Vegas from the beginning for the first time in like a decade, this is fascinating

classic toon fact: when george jetson begged his wife to get him off this crazy thing, he was referring to samsara

not enough people are asking about what Zohran Mamdani's favorite episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast is

Twitter pays people based on engagement (views, retweets, comments, etc). It appears that many MAGA accounts are based abroad and they use AI technology to generate low-effort rage bait. My guess is that this will get worse as AI tech improves. For instance, fake videos of minorities doing crime.

NOTHLIB

yeah giving out the assassins creed mirage dlc for free was probably the right move

Silicon Valley guys casting government employees as lazy, parasitic, and malevolent seems like a giant case of projection imo

gift idea for the tech bro in your life

As @paleofuture.bsky.social notes in this thread, these images were probably created using Google's Nano Banana Pro image generator. NBP is really good at making photorealistic images that are getting really difficult to spot in the wild.

Butterball CEO: friends I come to you with both challenging and exciting news about my proposed changes for the Butterball company to meet the modern world

The US government under Trump is an epic money laundering scheme. They’re robbing the taxpayers blind for crap nobody asked for!

What RFK Jr. doesn’t want you to know is that in 2019, his anti-vax nonsense caused a measles outbreak in Samoa that infected 5700 and killed 83 people, most of them children.

what if we gave blanka a gun

The concept of food that tastes good was invented in the 1940s as part of the Marshall Plan, but the concept was only applied domestically in America around 2005.

i dont have a career path i have a series of gigs that have kept me from dying on the street

Gmail privacy has always been a misnomer. This is a crisis.

her: are you stupid? me:

I feel like a lot of us in the comedy world failed the world at large when we stayed silent despite knowing all about Cosby and Louis so let me say right now that Steve Martin has eaten one banjo a year for the last 25 years

trump sobbing as they force him into the sensory deprivation tank with stephen miller to turn him back evil

watching your husband’s phone light up like a Christmas tree and knowing it’s President Donald J Trump

Five hours apart

And now we cut to a live shot of Stephen Miller.

it actually makes so much sense trump immediately wants mamdani to be his best friend the man is surrounded by some of the most deeply unlikeable people on planet earth

TRUMP [after spending 5 minutes with Zohran]: surplus value, it’s a very wonderful thing, very wonderful, and they’re stealing it. Can you believe that? We’re going to be looking very strongly at the bourgeoisie, what they’re up to

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

Trump: anything else pal? Zohran: I dunno you want to sink the GOP nominee for governor? Trump: no problem!

he never looks at JD that way

Stephen Miller:

hmmm

in the last decade we’ve been cursed to have trump ruin the world and politics, i’ve maybe only seen him smile the way he smiled at zohran mamdani for like, 3 other people ever

Six different viziers are currently wrestling over the phone that’s logged into Truth Social

As somebody situated in that exact cultural space at that time, this is *mind blowingly accurate.* The landscape is SO different, it feels like remembering a parallel universe.

donald trump endorsed zohran mamdani before chuck schumer lmao

This machine kills fajitas