I have determined that everything right now is All Too Much and it needs to be Considerably Less, so if reality could just dial it down a fucking iota or two, I think we'd all like that

Most two hour movies that people describe as "okay" or "pretty good" or "fine" would have been considered bangers at 90 minutes. The problem is usually pacing. I said what I said.

A new god rises in the official trailer for MONARCH: LEGACY OF MONSTERS Season 2, premiering February 27. Kong and Godzilla team up to fight a brand new monster!

Christopher Nolan should have cast Helen of Troy the way the Greeks would have: by casting the most attractive young man in the company and giving him a really fuckable porcelain mask. Having a WOMAN play Helen of Troy??? Talk about inaccurate. The Greeks would fucking riot.

We need a sequel to the movie Groundhog Day but when everyone shows up it's just the movie Groundhog Day. No one will be disappointed.

The secret to finding 100% of your typos is just to wait until the piece is published, don't worry you'll find them all

I went to the store with my wife today and kept telling everyone “I hope you have a bidet” instead of “good day” because we’ve been watching so much reality TV lately and I needed a personal challenge. I passed by the way, I don’t think I’m being voted off the island.

I was buying gluten free cookies earlier & the cashier blurted out "Ugh, gluten free is the worst!" Then she asked if I had tried gluten free cookies before & I said "Yeah, I have to eat gluten free. I have Celiac disease." Folks, I've never seen someone so embarrassed. 10/10 shopping experience.

Realizing that onions are alive and then having to create a mental justification that they want to be eaten, like the pop tart mascot

I got a new library card today, the librarian reminded me that I can download Hoopla (to watch free movies & listen to audiobooks) and Cloud Library (so I can check out & read books on my tablet) and honestly, I never knew that. Libraries are magical places that we need to support vigorously.

The Kickstarter for my samurais vs zombies comic, THE DEATH POEM OF SENSEI OTORO is live! Click here now to join in! www.kickstarter.com/projects/770... #kickstartercomics #Kickstarter #zombiecomics #comics #samuraicomics #samurai

It’s hard to imagine someone more universally enjoyed than Catherine O’Hara where the opinions range from “I like her and her work” to “I love her and her work” and that’s a pretty good legacy

Catherine O’Hara has been a huge part of so many things I’ve loved. She’s a queen. She’s a legend. She will be missed.

Why should I watch something that a director didn't even bother to make?

my office's smart vending machine asked me if I wanted a "summary of my monthly spending." no I do not. that's fake

The fact that Darren Aronofsky made an entire series based on the Revolutionary War using AI and voice actors is surprising, disheartening, and disgusting. As an artist, he should know better and he should definitely be embarrassed.

Welcome John Carpenter's THE THING to the National Film Registry! bloody-disgusting.com/movie/393134...

Continuing my journey of watching films I either chose to skip or didn’t know existed, I just finished Gunpowder Milkshake and holy hell, I have thoughts. The first being, why didn’t more people talk about this movie at the time? Why aren’t they still? It was honestly incredible.

Exclusive Interview: GWENDOLYN KISTE creates a coven for female horror writers. https://ow.ly/Izr250Y4FoA

I finally watched Terminator: Dark Fate and honestly, it got more hate than it deserved. It was full of the action we come to expect and had by far Arnold’s best performance. Linda Hamilton being back as Sarah Conner was fantastic. I don’t know what people expected.

One of the best ways to combat How Everything Feels Awful Right Now is to do something on a regular basis that helps others directly. Whether you go out and volunteer at a soup kitchen or stay home and volunteer for a helpline, those actions create hope & make positive changes feel attainable.

At the end of the seance, the Ouija board literally said, "...don't forget to click like and subscribe."

I left TikTok a little over two years ago so the good news is, I don’t have to learn an entirely new platform today. It’s the small victories.

The pineapple on pizza discourse (in my mind) has come to an end. The pineapple gang won. The battle starting now is for a pineapple ring on a burger. It’s different. It’s delicious. It belongs.

The pineapple on pizza discourse (in my mind) has come to an end. The pineapple gang won. The battle starting now is for a pineapple ring on a burger. It’s different. It’s delicious. It belongs.

It's a weird thing and I know it, but I am proud to be an X-Men writer. It feels like they have messages that are worth hearing somehow.

I’m a horror guy, everyone knows that (if you know me anyway) but my comfort watches are Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse & Across The Spider-Verse. The art and the music and the stories of those films are incredible and I really need the next one already.

ME: [begrudgingly practicing self-care because I refuse to let the world harden me]

Pretty cool that The Devil can be defeated by a fiddler

I was looking out my window while making coffee, the Storm of The Century has the city quiet, then out of nowhere a bus drove down the street. The lone Bus Driver. I don’t know, it made me smile. I love Canada.

Canadian winter hits different and I guess for my first one it decided to show off. I can’t go outside without my blood freezing. Well played, Canada.

I hate when I’m 2 paragraphs into an article and I realize it’s completely ai generated. I want those few seconds back! I don’t want to slog through ai slop trying to find useful or interesting information!

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Bone Lake was a ride.

There are books that I own in hardback as well as a copy for my tablet & the audiobook. It just depends how I want to receive the story in the moment. All versions are acceptable, stop letting people say audiobooks aren’t reading.

As a film critic, if I review something based on a book or video game or something else, it’s hard not to compare it to the source material BUT I think (as hard as it seems) the film should be looked at based on what it IS, not what it could have been. That seems fair to me.

I don’t care what anyone says, revenge is even better if you microwave it for thirty seconds.

I’m not a fan of restaurants that have a “sauce policy”. If I want a sauce, you give me a sauce. That’s a solid sauce policy.

First trailer for 'Life is Strange Reunion' 🎮 Max and Chloe are co-leads in the game Releasing March 26

Back in 2002, Danny Boyle and Alex Garland changed the world of horror forever with 28 Days Later, revitalizing the zombie genre with a terrifying new fast-paced take on a rage-infected populous and generating hundreds of clones in the process. Almost 30 years later, Nia DaCosta's 28 Years Later:…

A tub of cottage cheese is never as deep as I think it is and I’m always left with sad and lonely crackers. If I ever finish a sleeve of crackers and a tub of cottage cheese at the same time, I will feel a great sense of accomplishment.

The other day when I was out with @crocketthoughton.com, I got a blind box collectible but it ended up being one I didn't want. The one I -did- want was on display though. Crockett decided to ask the cashier if we could trade. She agreed. So yes, my husband is skilled in the art of negotiations.

They say that money can’t buy happiness but it can buy coffee and cheese and books and movie tickets. It can buy an inflatable adult-sized bouncy-house and a pizza with whatever you want on it. I hate to be a contrarian but it seems like maybe money can buy happiness.

i wish i could still buy things at the prices i used to complain about

If I ever say that I “need to slip into something a little more comfortable” and I’m already wearing my Star Wars pajamas, I mean my Labubu onesie.

Before the play starts the actors should have to act out trailers for all the other shows that are being staged at the theatre in the coming months.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Constant Online Psyops

I need a Batman-style utility belt where every compartment is a different flavor jellybean. This would make life easier.

I went to the Olive Garden but no one would lend me their truck or help me move this old couch. I guess when you’re there, you really are family.

Of course you didn't read the room. You asked AI to write you a summary.