i'm interpreting this as "two teams playing each other each turn in a lineup card with an infielder named otto" as the search criteria, so start with the major league players listed as "otto [last name]" some used that as a nickname or different nicknames, but presumably their lineup slot said otto.

CHOTINER: you view music as an extension of your faith ANTON BRUCKNER: oh, very much so C: and your use of the orchestra to mimic a church organ B: devotional, absolutely C: and your regard for other composers? B: second only to my regard for the Lord C: let's talk about Beethoven's skull B:

My family couldn’t afford a hose. We had to drink water out of long tube of paper

If you're on TV to deny that you took bribes, you shouldn't launch into a tirade about how your government job doesn't pay you enough to live on.

Every Phillie is just trying to hit home runs now. Zero effort at getting any other kind of hit.

This is it right here. Zero contrition, endless doubling down on their right to be openly racist.

CHOTINER: And when was that? MY CAT: I mean at least 14 hours ago CHOTINER: Well hold on. You're telling me you haven't been fed at all today but if I look in your bowl here I see a- MY CAT: An untouched serving, I know, but if you'd let me finish- CHOTINER: Yeah, of course.

This Phillies-Marlins game has everything. 73 home runs, double-digit strikeouts, and a catcher who cannot catch baseballs.

It might be the first time for two starting infielders named Otto. I couldn't find any! Not many Otto's, most played over 100 years ago, and many were not infielders. I don't have the energy to keep looking, but there probably are a few dual-Otto games with SP/IF or C/IF or something like that

I wonder how many MLB games have ever involved two starting infielders named Otto.

Friday! www.instagram.com/p/DO_8hTuk3rV/

They are the pettiest, most thin-skinned toddlers in the entire world.

Stopped at Taco Bell to grab dinner and my total for a burrito and a quesadilla was just under *$15,* what the hell happened to the Bell, man?

okay, whew this is factually, firmly fascist abcnews.go.com/Politics/new...

CHOTINER: you view music as an extension of your faith ANTON BRUCKNER: oh, very much so C: and your use of the orchestra to mimic a church organ B: devotional, absolutely C: and your regard for other composers? B: second only to my regard for the Lord C: let's talk about Beethoven's skull B:

Between the cantaloupe and oatmeal cookie slander, I really feel like y’all didn’t get to spend the night at Grandmother’s house enough.

me watching someone in a blockbuster movie get absolutely railed: yeh seems fine me watching a kdrama where they finally hold hands:

The extent to which most of the political choices made by the US government in my lifetime have been a cynical, destructive attempt to prop up oil companies is really something.

Friday: a prosecutor is forced to resign bc he concludes there's not enough evidence to go after Trump's perceived enemies Saturday: Trump makes public post asking Attorney General why she hasn't gone after his enemies Wednesday: DOJ says enemy indictment coming right up sir do I have that right?

Gotta say, “release the Epstein files” is starting to sound a lot like “release the Mueller report.”

there's always a few of these guys, the difference is that trump made agreeing with them a requirement to be in the republican party, hope that helps

This is huge: “A drug that provides near-perfect protection against H.I.V. with shots just twice a year will be made available at $40 per patient annually in low- and middle-income countries, offering new hope… making lenacapavir a realistic choice in countries with constrained resources.”

I already was enjoying this very informative article on watercolor pantings of fruit before they brought in an expert quote from Alice Tangerini

The greatest gift Martha Stewart ever gave me was the knowledge that you can make apple butter in a crock pot while you sleep.

to me, the “column” is less a form than an opportunity (and a challenge). you’re telling me i have as much space as i’d like to make an argument about anything i’d like to an audience inclined to pay close attention? well let’s see if they’ll read 2000 words on democratic legitimacy. (gift link)

I've got the poster's sanity. I've got it bad. I no longer care about likes and reskeets, I only care about real world problems like obtaining hot, nutritious soup and not being attacked by coyotes on my morning walk.

Seems bad for our society when you can’t make racist terrorists the villains

Um.

This is a thing that evil mobsters in movies do.

Ruin a band with a Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and the Shakes

They told me to make myself at home, so I spread dog hair all over every upholstered surface and refused to get the clean laundry out of the dryer.

i do not often use the phrase "comically inept" but if you are the envoy to an arab-majority country you should probably be aware of a little word called "islam"

I'm false alarm by boys

when your interview did not go great

Anyway, please enjoy my very favorite rapture-based thing, courtesy of @jackiekashian.bsky.social (from a taping I was actually at!)

Hey, guys, I work on a dirt road with like four other people, one of whom never shows up til after lunch, so it's very difficult to tell if this rapture thing is happening atm. Anyone got any intel from the places where all the people are?

The rapture, but for your bluesky drafts.

Roth IRA: A retirement account that allows contributions of after-tax dollars, with the potential for tax-free growth and withdrawals in retirement. David Lee Roth IRA: Bozee count contribyoozy after-zabbadow here to party! growth withdrawal zow.

Could an underslept bitch do this? Wordle 1,557 2/6 🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Went to bed at 9pm last night for no reason other than I felt like it, and man, I'll tell you what, old people have got this shit figured out. What am I doing between 9 and 11 that's more enjoyable than sweet, perfect sleep?

"Back in 1998, the median New Hampshire home was 2.8 times more expensive than the median income could afford, according to an analysis by New Hampshire Housing, a state-supported housing organization. Today, that same median home is 5.5 times more expensive."

One thing that's fun to do in nice weather is go for a leisurely drive with the windows open while very visibly drinking a bottle of NA beer.

autism announcement: we’re removing the top sheet from every bedding package. just the fitted sheet from now on. fuck the top sheet. you’re welcome

I feel like a lot of people are about to learn things about their doctors.

Imagine being intimidated by a guy like this deadline.com/2025/09/jimm...

Some people who hadn't thought about Jimmy Kimmel in years before last Thursday are so mad about this lol

i don't like the thought of oboists being able to walk amongst us undetected

OK is everyone else getting their job back

I'm losin it at the crow definitely knowing when it won, too, throwing its head back with a smile and struttin like aaaayy das right!