Brush my teeth in the shower? The same place I pee??

chatgpt prompt "l33t pr0n"

"Barely Legal" oh my dear very much NO NO NO please make it ENTIRELY legal, I'd like this all to be entirely on the up and up

it's a cold and it's a broken Greg Bovino

I bet he cried. I bet it was hilarious.

throwing Bovino a retirement party where he is the piñata

No rest until he's inside a cell.

The National Guard is still patrolling DC, carrying handguns & long rifles, patrolling vibrant community spaces in packs to intimidate residents, especially Black residents, of the city. Keep that in mind as you see the videos of them handing out pizza & coffee in MN.

Hello I’m the ubermensch, my one weakness is whistles

Even when there’s no accountability, the record matters. Credit to the Wikipedia editors maintaining this page.

So for future reference in terms of senseless murders at the hands of the president's death squad, the Democratic threshold is "two"

Kid picked a very particular time to ask me what a Cybertruck is.

Stuck on the fact that he was trying to keep someone else from getting hurt and for that he was killed by people who only understand masculinity as offensive violence

What's the plan, Chuck? I run a fake news website. You're the Senate Minority Leader. What's the plan?

god rn

Trials for every ICE member.

Time marches on like a goddam jazzercise video.

ARTE

i will never forget any of this. i’ll tell you that much.

Honestly, it's somewhat inspiring, that even after all these years I still find new ways to embarrass myself.

If we have to be constantly inundated with gambling ads, at least they have the courtesy ro so unbearably unwatchable, it can die a little bit sooner, let this hideous aesthetic die with this shit. Don't wanna see it again until a horror movie uses it to effectively elicit my righteous anger.

When you meet another Sonic fan

MINNESOTA VERSION OF COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

(vat army in formation rushing eastward): VATS! VATS! VATS! (tube army in formation rushing westward): TUBES! TUBES! TUBES!

horny 4 snow

What language is most likely to use an insanely specific euphemism like "If their stench made you barf, would aim to make sure as much of your barf them as possible" to describe how I feel about these people.

If you're not stoned enough to resist the doomscrool, you're not stoned enough period

nuremberg trials are the compromise position

If you did so much as file a single piece of paperwork to allow this to happen you are as inhuman as every villain you delude yourself to be fighting.

Primary all of them.

7. dessert is gay

Bring back Civics classes.

Even their propaganda depict JD and Marco as miserable little shitheads.

If they invest ,,in money'' then why can't they invest in Kindess?

This is literally what every right-winger has spent my whole life telling me they want.

If you work for ice please understand that your kids will laugh at a character based on you dying in an action movie before the end of the decade. They’ll be in movies for really little kids. Like Phineas and Ferb shit. There will be an action figure of you with a detachable head

Future generations will worship that dumb piece of medal as a sacred artifact.

Newsom is a loser and a coward who wants fascists to like him.

While the pasty incels who work the federal agencies continue to churn out feeble, bloodless AI pastiches of Axis propaganda, here’s how a living breathing artist powerfully invokes design history. This is by illustrator Emily K in South Philly, a free poster-sized download on her website: →

and to my niece Crispina,

How long until the shitty sound quality of my 2002 gas station earbuds become An Aesthetic Choice

This is the funniest thing I saw this week. joechouinard.com/columbo/

they're shooting us in the face, ted

If anything, I hope Mahatma Gandhi knew before he died how much joy saying his name brought me when I’m high.

Nathan Fielder starting to think this is a little much.

I kept thinking about these guys #makeaterriblecomicday2025