What.

Cannot find the motivation to pull this presentation together for this conference I'm doing next week. Shaking my damn head damn.

Don’t even think about yelling “rub a dub dub, three men in a tub” at the feds

Eddie vedder eating muesli: Oats and dates they taste… Really great

taking notes from Hegseth and assembling all my friends from far and wide to tell them I'm disappointed in how fat some of them are

Can someone good with video & audio dub a bunch of dogs barking with Tim “the tool man” Taylor’s grunt over each dog’s bark?

Meanwhile at the Riyadh comedy festival

this nonna inspires fear in her sapient meatballs! click here to discover her secrets! hit subscribe to learn how she keeps a nation of pork and apple meatballs oppressed under her iron fist! executions! youth indoctrination! her authoritarian kitchen methods will change how you see dinner forever!

filling up my bookshelf with copies of war and peace so guests will be impressed with my intellect

I'm tired of the "oh, I don't like beer" mentality. Nobody likes beer at first, ok? You gotta shove that shit down your throat. You gotta poison your mind, body, and soul thoroughly. You center yourself, you alchemize the poison into something good. And then? You enjoy a cold one with the boys.

Things are getting too predictable these days. If you’re evil, you win.

every day I go to my job clock in rotate a potato in my head for 8 hours and thank God for this beautiful Country

it was $294,000 and 512 Nvidia H800 chips. AI companies are so cooked lmao

Look if people don't want to get fired they won't post rude things about the pulsating monolith

Maybe I’ll show up from time to time. I dunno

Going to take a break from here for mental health. Going to miss you guys. Send me a dm (I’ll check those sometimes)

If you gotta do the dishes I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a dish ain’t one

Just keep this around. Keep it circulating.

I forgot about 9/11. Sorry

Good morning. Here's a VH1 segment on Jeffrey Epstein from 2007.

More birthday notes have been revealed. In my opinion, this is beginning to implicate Donald Trump.

left wing organizing: hours long zoom call with 20 minutes of introductions, everyone afraid to step over another, subcommittees of subcommittees Right wing organizing: biggest piece of shit tells the other goons what to do, over in 5 mins. fortunately sometimes they wind up murdering each other

My neighbor is a musician. Their favorite song is Been Caught Stealing by Jane's Addiction but so far they only do the dog part.

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

Waiting to go to the dog park

Oh great. A psycho.

This is why everyone need to read history: we’ve already been to the moon, dummy

They should make this guy the next darth Vader

if i heard a dog talking in rfk jr's voice i'd think, Well obviously that's pretty amazing but it's not like, earth shattering

You: yeah she’s a real Georgia peach Me: oh you mean the tree that’s native to Asia [1,2]

Babe, you’re scatting to the William Tell Overture at karaoke night? Again?

TRUMP: i am going to nuke every major city in america DEM STRATEGIST: holy shit we gotta hammer him on this. look! only american gladiators contestants are allowed to wear those cufflinks

This thing backing into a parking space: double dickhole move

Oops 😅

Remember when dumb idiots thought this motherfucker was good lmao

Among other dumb things, this idiot is an “author” and said “hung” rather than “hanged” lol

Look who’s on da couch

Imagine how actually bad of a dude you would have to be to rescue the president in this day and age

What if my tombstone was a giant transparent gun and my dead body was naked inside it and inscribed in a rock in front it said “Rest in Piece”

Hey Mister big dog woof woof Bark a song for me I’m not eepy And there ain’t no walk I’m going on

It both bums me out and is extremely funny that the best explanation of what a subfamily and tribe are, taxonomy speaking, is by reddit user “yerfukkinbaws” www.reddit.com/r/ecology/co...

Scrolling the news:

A story in four parts

Using an image on your phone, show everyone what you choked to death on

🔥🇺🇸 - dashare.zone ADMIN

Haha what if “use” was spelled “yuse”