The wet bandits withstand so much damage from kevin’s attacks. They should be called the Powerful Bandits

Who else wishes they could hug a really big bird?

It’s a…nice day for a Nice wedding

Honk honk honkin on bobo’s door

Sold out of grinch meals

What if ET was just a real fucked up guy from Superman’s planet

We were dead and now we're the hottest country in the world, the first country—quite frankly the only country—where a box of breakfast cereal costs $11. We're saying Merry Christmas, and also the r-slur, and we're getting back to saying "gay" so it means "stupid" again. Grown-ups are doing it now,

What if ET was just a real fucked up guy from Superman’s planet

should I?

poop with a noose around it just fell out of my ass and is hanging above the water

What actor's facial expression in a movie/TV show will stay with you for the rest of your life?

What actor's facial expression in a movie/TV show will stay with you for the rest of your life?

What would you do if your boss handed you a document to look over and the pages were stapled right in the middle

Wish I could complain more funnily

elon musk has died of trying to say a full sentence

Im confused why, with every news story about RFK Jr., they are not mentioning that the motherfucker’s brain was eaten by a worm

Did you know…there is professional tag?? m.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Yw...

Do things ever become more affordable as time goes on? Like, does the price of food ever go down? Or do salaries ever go up? I don’t see a good end to this

this is a world for your dumbest coworker and the people scamming them, the rest of us just live in it

Me when I cite myself:

Everyone say happy birthday to my one year old pink eyed pooch

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

I’m gonna have to mute “nuzzi”

Truer lyrics have never been uttered “Think about it, if you were there standing looking at me What would you do, if I hit your face with dog doo-doo?”

One day I will whip this out and it will be a very funny time for all in the replies

The toilet is rated R

So sick of hearing people say Bob Dylan is the best songwriter of all time 🙄🙄🙄

This one has always stuck with me, from November 2012. Truly cursed with the gift of prophecy

im counting my blessings and days, both of which are numbered - the morose mathematician

What would be the most absurd gift I could bring in for a white elephant for under 15 bucks?

the president has repeatedly insisted that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary. some critics say it's not so simple

I don’t think that viruses and bacteria will educate either, unfortunately

Gn

when someone gets in bed you just KNOW they sleepy 😭💯👌💤

Emphatically mashing the thumbs-up button

Love how my dog shouts and hollers and spins in a circle before taking a poop

Background of a wikihow

Okay I have to do this next post. Sorry

youre the redditor that tells everyone that lennon beat his wife im the redditor that tells everyone that shen yun is a cult we are not the same

God I’m so glad I’m not a writer. I hate writing. I even hated writing this post

Very funny to hate on a guy this much for apparently no reason

Someone needs to make a gif where this guy is retreating into the bushes like Homer

Unfortunately the replies have proven this false