you wanna see a dead body

The wet bandits withstand so much damage from kevin’s attacks. They should be called the Powerful Bandits

Dharma & Greg: The Animated Series

Retweet if you want your Christmas presents NOW

I figured out how we can fix everything: we simply have to “vote with our dollars”

I wish we were all allowed to watch muppets christmas carol more than once per year. But we’re not…

doesnt it seem like the guys chanting “ai will steal your job” are probably the ones with jobs most easily replaced by ai

“Hey, I’m ryan reynolds and i’d like to talk to you about boost mob-“ Enough of you. Hammer that pulverizes you into a fine paste.

i know WHY this is but that just makes it even more of a kick in the pants lmao

L from Death Note

Devil’s foodcake

anxiously wandering downtown enderlin, looking at signs like "nasty bar," "inconsiderate pub," "rude taphouse" until i spot the friendly tavern and am visibly relieved as i wipe the fearful sweat from my brow

Hi! My name is Williams. This is embarrassing... I'm hungry, I'm weak. Do you have something to eat? Anything! Ohhhhh....my tummy!

I think we’ve hit peak saturation of overdifficult roguelikes and cozywholesome slop. Could there potentially be a market for medium games designed for normal guys who suck

she is going Lovely Mode

[wormy dipshit whose entire lifestyle and worldview is propped up by direct and indirect violence that they are privileged enough to be insulated from, and who only speaks up for an ethical respect for human life when the most wicked devils alive finally get theirs voice] I condemn all violence!

(Average conversation with my wife) Wife: I'm going to become a mad scientist and replace your hands with energy cannons. Me: Why??? Wife: So you'll be able to target flying enemies... Me: Oh that's true... I guess I don't have any ranged options currently. Wife: I am always thinking of you.

driving the action figure car around town. Running errands in my toy. Im 56 and my movie car sounds like a lawnmower on the highway

dark cooper tribute

Oh...um... My wife is calling me. Excuse me.

when no one objected to this, thats when the fat cats realized they could get away with anything

every medium-sized city has 17 bakeries called like “outlaw bakehouse” or something and everything they sell is rock hard, and there’s always a line going out the door

They are officially not letting trans people in this country. FYI

not to get political but all politicans should experience the effects of my special device

Experimental post: Dubious Statements from Official Sources In the spirit of April Fools' Day but without sacrificing the Supper Mario Broth veracity policy, I have compiled a variety of statements that are bizarre, but were published in official Nintendo-authorized sources.

really dont understand how hbo max doesnt have all of the movies and shows warner bros owns. You cant afford your own movies? youre that broke?

and my #1 all time favorite thing i've ever seen in a baseball chat

hello cis friends this is what people mean by trans genocide if a type of person does not officially exist, then any harm against them cannot be measured or reported this headline change isn't even being caused by an executive order it's simply the NYT editors deciding we don't deserve to exist

Hello dale

Various corporations love to withdraw 24.99 from my checking account constantly

how come woods are always Forbidden or Lost. let’s have the Welcoming Woods

Obviously it’s a fascist country they had to make him look like a murderer to sell it here, 🧵

i can offer no guidance for what we have to do to fix all of this, but i do enjoy reading the wikipedia article about how mussolini got strung up like a hog en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_o...

love when cat food tins refer to the contents as an “entree”. dishonest yet playful

We are literally supposed to have fun like puppy dogs with our tails wagging. Jot that down.

what can you say about the democratic party other than that it has a bright future ahead of it and an abundance of politically savvy supporters online

Drop the T #Chrismas

nobody wants to take the time to praise the humble red onion. But where would we be without her

DUANE BARRY! DUANE BARRY! DUANE BARRY! www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

they call it the muchroom kingdom cause theres so much room to run and jump and play with mario