good news, ian brady has promised to stop killing children except for paying subscribers, so that's that matter dealt with

Metric fuck tonight of snow just slid off the roof. Not joking, it's about waist deep on t' patio. At least I may be able to build a decent igloo this year.

Billy Connolly once joked that WWII was started to push Vera Lynn's new single, and I can't help thinking this US/Venezuela/Greenland thing is doing the same for emergency podcasts.

SNER

@andyparmo.co.uk Mrs is watching that thing. You know.

I think he's going to carry on doing stuff like this until his dementia is judged to be too severe for him to stand trial.

A reminder (God knows we all need it) that not EVERYTHING is awful just now.

Repeat after me. 'I was only following orders'

“and in other news, President Trump has ordered the bombing of Venezuela” “Caracas?” “not according to his doctors”

OK Who let Austin Powers drive a gritter?

Introduce yourself with what almost killed you. Chasing the kids round the house while pretending to be a gorilla.

Right you odd lot who live in my phone, Happy New Year to you all. I've had enough of 2025, so am off to bed. May all your 2026's be less shit than your 2025's have been.

Frank was my Grandfather. A gentle soul, a lover of the outdoors, family, sugary tea, Liebfraumilch, Allo Allo, and sweet sponge cake. An author in his own right, he rose to be editor of the local paper, and wrote a column for them until his death. I still have his hairline.

RT if you think giving people knighthoods is all a bit silly but still think it's hilarious that Farage still hasn't got one.

I reckon anyone who enjoys the sort of rural vehicular nonsense that @bigdaftdad.bsky.social and me get up to will enjoy this scrap metal legend's YT channel. The photo montages alone are worth a watch for comedy value youtube.com/@andyourpoin...

MOT'ed worse, It'll buff out.

Spiceworld...THREE

Thirty years since my HIV diagnosis today. Thirty years since I was rushed to hospital weighing seven and half stone (48 kilos) and told I had an AIDS defining illness and six months to live. I was 28. It's been a bloody long six months

Minor celebrity interaction? OK then. Walked past Rick Wakeman in a Manx supermarket. He looked dog rough, and was buying bog roll.

2 days ago my mouth ate 1/4lb of fudge the rest of me didn't want. It's just done it again.

I've just told the dishwasher that it's a piece of utter shitewank, in case you were wondering how today is going.

I fear I may reside in what shall henceforth be known as 'Places'

That's getting stuck onto something heavy...

Telly show idea. Great Escape To The Country. A couple look around three cottages before being shot by some Germans.

Went out for a walk earlier. Bits of it were sunny. This bit wasn't.

This is just insurance against the BM keeping it.

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

I'll pay for this later.

Tired

What's everyone's favourite Avatar quote? Mine is:- Shit What? Avatars No? Yeah Shit

Do Mountain Rescue a favour, and assume you're 20% less experienced, capable, and well equipped than you think. Because you probably are.

Now I've read that, I'm not so keen on Cribbage.

I, a man with the lions share of a beer advent calendar still to get through, have just bought a stainless fermenter for the brewery. Well. That was clumsy.

I made my own crackers this year. Bought enough stuff to make 40. I made 5. Used all the snaps though.

God help us, we let this pedophile ring up random children on Christmas Eve

Hoffwit massive pupper halping.

To all of you peculiar internet people in my phone, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I hope you all get the day you want. Cheers!

Last Christmas, partner insisted I put wrapping paper over the door to the living room as they did it when they were kids so wanted to do it for my son to run through in the morning. I wasn't keen but did it. Lying in bed I realised I was probably meant to leave the door behind it open.

It appears #Fuckthehelp is on.

This is the 15th year of #DuvetKnowItsChristmas, which is preposterous. Rules: if you find yourself dealing with unusual / claustrophobic / gaudy sleeping arrangements this Christmas Eve, share a picture with the world. Use the hashtag (with capitalisation) and cc me if you can be bothered.

When you're Christmas Eve WM and the last BA populates into TLPD at 2230....

New hosts of #Strictly

I've gone all Martin Goodman. I'n my defence, it IS roasting in here

Today is the 6th anniversary of me buying Mrs BDD one of those metres of Jaffa Cake things and EATING THE LOT in the car on the way home from the supermarket. Tomorrow is the 6th anniversary of me buying her the one she actually received.

@bleepynoises.bsky.social @sarascuffell.bsky.social

Whenever a music person dies, I ask my aunt (who was the cook at a big recording studio for years) how many thumbs up, from one to five. She says: Chris Rea 👍👍👍👍👍 Chris Rea's wife 👍👍👍👍👍 Chris Rea's baby 👍👍👍👍👍