“I have instructed the state police to begin arresting federal agents and shooting them if they do not comply” is an order that both very likely will not be obeyed and that you get to give exactly one time, I think some of you have expectations a lot out of line with that is possible.

thanks to our revolving door justice system and bleeding-heart judges this man can now walk around washington dc with a sandwich whenever he wants

are renewables better for the environment than fossil fuels? yes. is it cheaper? also yes. is it less dangerous to extract? yes, significantly. but you've gotta understand if we switched, the people who are currently wealthy would not be as wealthy

Good news: my body responds very quickly to exercise Bad news: when I miss exercise even for a couple days it immediately shows up on the metrics

They're saying it's the worst regime consolidation maybe in the history of authoritarianism.

i don’t like him, but, man, turning down $10M in favor of haterdom is an all-time, world-class, heavyweight champion hater move

"The day NYC elects a Muslim Mayor will be the day I die." --Dick Cheney probably

“Welcome, Monkey and Moon, to this place where destiny is made. Come to me through fire and war.”

this is an obvious overcorrection that misleads the polling data and will lead to disaster in the Heartland. the results of tonight show that the Democrats should moderate: adopting two or at most three of the five pillars of Islam

"I formed my opinion in 1980" is exactly why all these people have to go

Zohran was polling at six percent in January. Nothing is impossible

if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam

The mandate of heaven! It's back!

Chinese astronauts become the first to grill wings in space, paving the way for future uncstronauts

I yearn for a political party where not endorsing Mamdani while praising Dick Cheney gets you automatically booted out

Elected Democrats spending more time today praising Dick Cheney than Zohran Mamdani is a great case study in abject fucking moral failure.

french queer eye is called Homme Improvement

exencutive bramche

The fundamental problem with this situation is that federal agents are committing clear crimes, practically daring the Illinois government to oppose them. Once armed agents of the state are in physical conflict we've arrived in the cool zone. The GOP appears to believe it wants this encounter.

A charcuterie board is just adult lunchables and it's OK to say it

Socialism in One Person

Tron gives an inaccurate impression of how many guys live in your computer. It makes it seem like thousands of guys are in there. In reality only about 10 guys live in your computer and less than half of them ride motorcycles

#Tradle #1338 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 oec.world/en/games/tra... Israel has such a weird export portfolio

One thing I've really come to appreciate over the course of my career is how easy it is to write a big article or book about How Everything Should Change and how difficult it is to actually change any single thing.

There's no such thing as the opposite of a band or music artist. But they do have complex conjugates

“every time theres a republican president the economy collapses” feels like pretty easy messaging on the economy

This isn’t even the first time it would happen - you can literally just go back to when Eric Adams first ran for mayor, and when he got into office, to see how the media manufactured a crime wave that helped push his pro-police agenda at the expense of every other city service.

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag? KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag. CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this? KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable. KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

optometrists are always giving you mushrooms because if you open your third eye, you’ll spend 50% more on daily contacts

KOKO: Koko transsexual rights. Practical Koko human rights RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t call them transsexual rights. KOKO: Good transition good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve transsexual RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford coherent politics. That’s transmedicalism KOKO: misogyny professor

TOMORROW YOU WILL GRAB THE SUN WITH BOTH HANDS AND DEVOUR IT. FOR NOW DOES YOUR BODY NEED STRETCHING?

Mogu

THE WHOLE ENTIRE THING STARTS because Bilbo Baggins is like "fuck, I guess I gotta be a good host to these dwarves that showed up without any explanation."

the mechanism of action of ketamine therapy is actually that it tranquilizes your inner horse

If your tummy is upset you will certainly not regret Nine beers

just told my parents about my ai girlfriend and now i'm the only 35 year old in this orphanage

Always cool when you get a reminder that your betters are still WFH/flexible when you've been back in the office for three years.

centrists will tell you to your face that we all need to abandon identity issues, and focus on kitchen table issues instead and yet when a leftist candidate runs a generational campaign based on kitchen table issues, it's the centrists weaponizing identity politics to smear the leftist.

It's very funny when NPR is interviewing an expert in something and it all feels fairly normal and evenhanded and then at the end they're like "and that was Christopher Halliburton from the Center for Exploding Venezuela"

Relativistic crime dilation

i hate how right the elders are about this but i feel so much better since i stopped reciting the dark incantations. this sucks. i love reading the dark incantations with my boys

They're saying that you refined and purified fissionable materials in direct contravention of international regulations, homeboy

research suggests we might have domesticated foxes if not for two major deterrents: (1) disney’s robin hood rebranding them as erotic folk heroes, and (2) joseph mccarthy rebranding “red” as a national threat

dooming accomplishes nothing for nobody other than for your enemies

You replied "lmao" and yet your ass is still connected to your body. That’s fraud

i hate when the skull and crossbones tattoo I got while guarding a torture camp ends up imbued with some secret dark meaning 😖

one thing thats kinda crazy to get your head around is not that the musk and thiel masters of the universe are ungrateful for the vast public infrastructure, public funding of research, and robust systems of laws and rules that made their wealth possible. it's that theyre too dumb to understand it

once i figure out how to plate these canapés it's d'oeuvre for you hors

The success of Reacher shows that the United States is ready for a Youxia revival. Wandering heroes dispensing kung fu justice in a morally compromised society.