No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

the reviews are in- they’re saying run- don’t walk- away from omelas

Pro-trans humanist but anti-transgender is a really funny ideology. We will transcend the boundaries of flesh, be whatever we want to be EXCEPT IN THAT ONE WAY, NONE OF THAT, freeing ourselves from the shackles of our physical husks BUT DON’T TOUCH THE GENITALS.

I’m glad to see people protesting Discord forcing IDs for age verification, but what I need everyone to understand is that there’s immense bipartisan pressure to make the entire internet like this, and they are likely going to succeed unless something drastic happens

I've just discovered that there's a scottish island called Unst and now I will always think of it whenever I hear techno. UNST UNST UNST UNST UNST UNST etc

world's least normal man can't just eat chicken wings at a super bowl party while on an all meat diet

Hark! Hear ye! Clavicle was mid jestergooning when a group of foids spiked his cortisol levels!

I'm kinda done being nice about the masochistic circle-jerk some people have going on. The past must be acknowledged but it cannot be fixed. The present and the future, on the other hand, are ours to alter. So let's alter it. Let's motivate people to fight back

Fake audiophiles "listen" to vinyl records on turntables, like posers. A true audiophile knows the purest way to experience music is to marvel at the peaks and valleys in the record grooves with an electron microscope.

Panic! at the social event in a loud bar where I can't understand anyone and also I've definitely met at least half these people and gun to head I couldn't tell you a thing about them because I'm faceblind so I'm just sorta playing along and hoping if I drink more things will be OK

Conservative sexual politics holds that there are ingroups that "traditional family values" protect but do not bind, and outgroups that "traditional family values" bind but do not protect

if I were a millionaire I would go out for lunch every day… lunch: the “Millionaire’s Meal”

I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place

The Lion is listening and learning from the concerns that the sheep community have raised.

Over the past two weeks I've begun to realize that rich people only started funding chatbots once they could no longer email Jeffrey Epstein

If you have adhd the Gouverneur should hire someone to shoot you with a dart gun full of stimulants twice a day

the hospitality of your hall is weak af bro

Hot dog donut

Lately

A human is a type of soup encapsulated in a gel foam served on the bone

Oh dang

I'm disgraced British political Tarquin M. Horbemogford

After much reflection I have decided to flee the death star. Serving the Galactic Empire remains an incredible privilege, and I will continue to support the dark side and the causes I believe in. Contact my agent with cash offers. No time wasters. Yours, Peter.

Heading into Valentines Day like:

It is cold

i hate how much of our lives we spend playing grabass with doctors and pharmacies just to get our fucking drugs. the drugs we always get, the drugs we need and use all the time. it's like every time you need a refill everyone involved is baffled by the concept of doing their jobs

The whole "Trump can't rig the elections" thing strikes me somewhat the same way as "climate change isn't going to drive human beings extinct" thing. Like ... sure. OK. But there's a whole lot of bad shit that stops well short of that!

sorry for being cringe I'm trying to enjoy being alive

Once again very cool to log on to the leftist bleeding heart app and see that I'm considered subhuman scum that should be glad my existence is tolerated at all. Sorry I didn't find someone to marry. Genuinely. But it doesn't help to see a million variations of kys on here.

we all got so old fuck

The year is 2027 and the only protected classes are dudes in the Epstein Files, youth pastors, and ICE officers.

One extremely upsetting thing about reality is that the DOJ just like...had all this information, and their official stance seemed to be shrugging and going: "Huh! That's weird!"

KOKO THE GORILLA: koko send email. practical Koko type message Jeffrey Epstein: kooko... part y nex=t week coming>? KOKO: good email good koko give beautiful koko helicopter to jungle JE: kko, we cnt get u gorlluhh. endsong vits to is. Land KOKO: jealousy pedophile

BARI WEISS: I think it's so telling. Liberals only want to talk about the bad bunny. Whereas rational people like you and me, I think, people who can agree to disagree, we want to talk about the good bunny. BILLIONAIRE CHILD RAPIST: [nodding]

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

Samuel Johnson once wrote "that man is little to be envied whose patriotism would not gain force upon the plain of Marathon" and I think the same can be said of any American whose heart does not swell at least a little at the words of the New Colossus inscribed on the Statue of Liberty.

Me and the boys ready to hit your replies

There should be more people named Vincenzo

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll

<standing in ruins of village> if you think about it, this is kinda personal growth for me, last week it was a town

"average New Labour minister causes 3 scandals" factoid actualy just statistical error. average minister causes 0 scandals. Scandals Peter, who lives in cave & causes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Clean asses, clean energy, can't lose

I've never been to a good party because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have let me in if it was any good

"technologists, reactionaries, and seething upstarts are brought together by decadent parties on a wealthy idiot's pedophile island, laying the groundwork for a digital-first fascism" sounds like a cyberpunk plot but you know it's real life because they did it with the style of people in bumper cars