tough way to stop him

stopping a one on one messi shot with your dick is a generational story to tell

I am not a football girly but this is an *amazing* goal

I don't want to see any photos because "no you're not coming to the wedding" but at the same time I WANT TO SEE THE DRESS, TAYLOR (I think they already tied the knot and this is the party, but still)

I remember seeing this Very Serious Academic Article come out a couple of years ago: "The Greggs-Pret Index: a Machine Learning analysis of consumer habits as a metric for the socio-economic North-South divide in England" arxiv.org/pdf/2304.00326

Listen, best I can do recommend getting into Warhammer again or joining a hockey team. And really, those are both kickass suggestions, so

Excellent thread

I think the new James Bond film should be MI6 making James Bond redundant and we see him trying to get a new job at his old age having not adapted to the modern workforce and having to do a meeting on Microsoft Teams or check into a WeWork to hot desk without killing anyone

happy 25th birthday to the greatest software ever coded

That new Apple TV Neuromancer teaser... I'm trying SO HARD not to get my hopes up

Oh good I have reached the point of overwhelm and task paralysis that I have shut down completely and cannot do anything apart from cry

Data centres, foot-the-ball Algae at the national mall, Pope to bishops: "on your bike" Minions didn't serve the Reich WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE

Feeling *extremely* as though I am the only person taking this damn house purchase situation at all seriously. Husband has done exactly zero of the things I asked him to do and MIL is insisting we shouldn't "second-guess the situation" and I just want to scream and walk away from everything

22 years ago today I released Salad Fingers.

companies on july 1st

Trans people, disabled people, and people of colour to the MPs of the England & Wales Green Party

"we've just gone through the worst heat wave Britain has ever seen, hundreds dead because of it, terrible terrible. Anyway so we're scrapping projects that will help prevent it in future in favour of guns"

A painting from 2025’s solo exhibition. Drift - oil and acrylic on canvas #painting #art

Not a single mention thus far of the cuntiest man I think I've ever seen (which gives him top billing in any Eisenhorn movie they do)

Information governance in a nutshell 😭😭😭

This is my cat Aces and me in 50 years

An underrated part of this is that the Cunt Class of the UK starts vomiting blood at the very thought of "undesirables" having access to any form of nature, because much like the creative arts they should only be available to the Tarquins and Beatrices of this world

Silver fox Timothy Olyphant 🤩

Happy birthday, Mel Brooks.

I think you’ll find it’s called harpsichord

I worked at Exeter for just over a year as their Arch lab tech, including a brief stint as stand-in emergency lab manager when John left. While my time there did not end so well, my beef was with the upper lab manager from Geo who didn't understand what we did, not the Arch team. Please sign.

That was given to me personally? A Winnie-the-Pooh winter mug I was given as a Christmas gift at secondary school in maybe 2001 That I own? I have a mid-century G-Plan dresser I got for £80 from FB marketplace.

Ugh it is SO much cooler today I have never been so grateful I didn't spend £2000 on an aircon unit I will only need for maybe two weeks a year

Ugh it is even more unpleasant in the gym than it was on Weds, but I can't tell if it is just warmer or it is because it is leg day which is a far sweatier affair for me 💀

Happy #PrideMonth! Enjoy a Tesla getting smashed by a light rail train with a pride flag.

No Sam, I can’t recall the cold side of the pillow nor the need for socks… I’m naked in the dark with four fans going, no veil between me and the wheel of fire.

Fine by me, I'm married and so are the people I sleep with 🤣🤣 (this is fucking gross Gilead-tier bullshit though)

I think Americans don’t realize how old the London Underground is. It was over 40 years old when Mark Twain went on it. Waterloo veterans rode it

ok this one got me

Without downloading any new pics, what's it like dating you?

My house was built in 1960 when aircon wasn't even remotely needed in the UK, but sure, keep telling me I'm *checks notes* racist for not being able to afford either it or the fight with my local council over planning permission for a heat pump unit

Are you fucking kidding me

Hello to another day spent guzzling water while surrounded by cooling fans. It's like being Gregor Samsa if he woke up to find himself transformed into a datacentre.

Raise a glass and let's toast the past, present, and future of VA-11 Hall-A on its 10th anniversary! 🍸 - New music from Michael "Garoad" Kelly! - New Jill & Doro statues from @goodsmile.com! - Stella plushie on the way! - iOS version in the works! - 10th anniversary concert in Japan! @sukeban.moe

10 years!? How can it be 10 years! My now-husband and I played this together and nicknamed the cat screaming-chan 😭

The historian in me genuinely loves this.

SO WHAT - dashare.zone ADMIN

21% OF THE UK LIVES IN POVERTY. 16% OF UK PENSIONERS LIVE IN POVERTY. STOP TELLING US TO BUY FUCKING AIR CONDITIONERS, WE CANNIT AFFORD THEM

IT IS 23:39 WHY IS IT STILL HOT OUT HERE

Gym set is now an hour and a half because I don't want to go outside 💀

Yes, I'm in a bad mood, I have bad temperature regulation on a good day so that plus this heat is making me rage

Pretty sure the same Yanks who are all 'tee hee get aircon' would be up in fucking arms if we started waving veg around snd saying 'tee hee have you tried not living in a food desert' so let's just not, yeah?

According to stats from last year, the US pays $0.2 per kilowatt-hour while the UK pays $0.42, so no, most of us Brits cannot afford fucking air con thankyou very fucking much www.statista.com/statistics/2...