Visiting my friend Mitchell at the hospital

Sunday :)

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about who should be the new Abbott and Costello wrt meeting Frankensteins etc and I have landed on the definitive answer: Tim Robinson and Sam Richardson “The Detroiters Go to the Backrooms” is a license to print money

i know you’re looking for it. here she is, girls. here she is, world

Me-coded characters

Honestly pretty easy to understand: they have been forgotten by god as they have abjured his one true Christian church

not gonna lie......i see it

wtf

Who up RIP-in they bozo

Finally a single call goes Norway’s way! Just gutless English play all game

i don't respect england. (looking at the timeline and finding out there is world cup soccer on) i don't respect england.

Oh they’re not gonna call the elbow to the head of the Norwegian attacker as he lines up a header?

Spending the whole match falling over and waiting for the officials to bail them out. Gutless play

England plays cowardly football and they will not see the light of heaven

Unfortunately morale improved

The English will keep falling down until morale improves

Embarrassingly friendly whistle for England, who are just throwing themselves against the Norwegians, falling down and getting free kicks

Harry Kane looking to the stands for the President to intercede

Aero

The times they are changin

Idk I’d just have held onto that ball with those giant grippy gloves. Couldn’t be me

They found out there’s a damn Cheeto in there!!!!

Showing up to an important Zoom meeting with multiple executives wearing a hockey sweater

I have, it seems, found my way to Supercuts-of-Sidney-Crosby-set-to-Phoebe-Bridgers tiktok, and I'm not mad

Reviews for “Garfield Sits Around the House”, the seventh book in the Garfield series first published in 1983

Who up trenchin they crusade

I made cold peanut soba and served it with some leftover roast pork shoulder and veggies

I am broadly easy breezy with my dogs so here are the various constellations I gravitate to the most: -chicago dog -chili cheese dog (with white onions) -Cheese, mustard & crushed potato chips

The time has come, once again, to raise children primarily on dvd copies of The Rockford Files and M*A*S*H

I've seen the post about that right wing pastor saying that Jesus was actually tough and ripped not GAY and I think we can all agree that Protestantism was a mistake.

Soccer is truly the beautiful game except for whenever someone is doing the stutter step penalty. Call it le balque

Listening to some of Springsteen's hard-bitten songs about love. "The Ties that Bind," "Human Touch," "If I Should Fall Behind," "Tougher than the Rest," and whatnot

“Jackass . . . is a lifelong project shared by now middle-aged men, who were so eager to find their limitations in this world that they were willing to destroy themselves in pursuit of them, but, and this is crucial, only by testing those limits together.”

ICE desperately wants you not to care about this story But we must. The killing of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, a Mexican national striving for his American Dream, is a moral outrage, and a warning. ICE hopes you won't notice that mass deportation is back My new column www.inquirer.com/opinion/ice-...

Truly vile! You know Harper didn't think for a single second about why he was doing this, either. Because if he did I'd be expecting him to [redacted] himself with a [redacted] right now.

Oh. Hm. Huh. Jeez.

I am not joking when I say that not only should online sports gambling be banned, but Harper should straight up be drummed out of the league like Pete Rose for this.

My beautiful comrades, heaven's so big there ain't a need to look up

My friends, I am allowed a little treat, yes?

That's what they call me out on the rink when I get into the corners

Sentimentally bummed to see Justin Verlander hanging up the glove after this season but man, what a career. For a while it seemed conceivable that he would just... keep going.

Unfortunately, a stunned Paris is how they all got into this whole mess to begin with

Been getting a lot of compliments from my teammates on my play in the last week, and I don't want to SAY it's all my new gear, because I genuinely work hard to improve, but I think this is a clear sign that buying new gear leads to success, so do it

I still think soccer goalies should have to wear regular sized gloves

Okay lads, looks like I’m coming out of retirement for any nation that needs me

I hope everyone puts this same energy into following my beer league game later tonight

Oh boy, VAR

VIVA EGYPT

I have zero idea why Coke is running a World Cup ad about how Coke is wonderful, just like a VAR review