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The war may have increased oil prices in the US and thus negatively affected Americans, but it is causing death and destruction and the oil prices are affecting others worldwide too so from their perspective it's a success.

Neither of the countries he lived in are where white people are from

maybe I'm focusing on the wrong thing here but this is the wildest shit I've ever heard a white South African say and I study racism for a living

Don't worry I wasn't going to

Welcome to our new gameshow, Minecraft Enchantment or Porn Name. Round one: "Depth Strider"

Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡

Saluted by the guy that called them suckers and losers an interesting type of dignified

What if Rube Goldberg was an actual rube

What cha gonna do, brother, when you work yourself into a shoot I regret not naming myself after Randy Savage instead OOOOHHHH YEEEEAAAHHHHHH

Lol this guy thinks he's a reactionary? BACK IN MY DAY SCHOOL PLAYGROUNDS WERE MADE OF SPLINTERY WOOD AND SCORCHING METAL, NOT THIS WOKE PLASTIC BULLSHIT

Pain at the pump 🎶 Feel like a chump 🎶 Just checked the news 🎶 Outbreak of Mumps 🎶

The year I turned 40 was in the middle of struggling with gender stuff, so the age doesn't count any more, I had bigger fish to fry

Misunderstanding the assignment and getting my rib removed so I can suck marilyn Monroe's dick

Literally

I think infallible geniuses would be able to win an election against a side show carnival barker

clinton's plan to beat trump was to elevate him above the rest of the republican field and then coast to an easy victory. i don't think she was right about that

I was like "that's clearly fallout, but also I haven't seen it" It's the one classic fallout I didn't play Super iconic art style

Crazy how the expressions and body language are still unmistakably Seth Don't bother actually doing an impression or anything

Wanna feel old? "I'm sorry miss Jackson" was about Janet Jackson

"Diceman" Clay: so the other night, I'm on a date, it's goin well, we're back at my place, and she says to me "ay, I gotta let you know, I'm one a them there transgendereds, how do ya feel about anal sex?" I said baby I love it, but ya didn't give me any warnin, I had a big lunch *cigarette trick*

Andrew "Dice" Clay: little boy blue, come blow MY horn. Little blue balls ova here, fuhgeddaboudit, OH!

Y'all remember Chris Gaines?

bold words from someone who was also told so by a bunch of people and is notably not president right now as a direct result

Thinking of the straight couples that actually liked each other that I've known in my 4 decades: 1....uh....yeah, that one couple...and ...the one (It was when I was in college and wanted to fuck both of them)

Call me E.T. the way...

Sissy hypno? You're gonna hypno me to stop being a Sissy?

i took these funny pills and now im a girl???? (also the government hates me)

"Make the punishment fit the crime?" So if I crime harder, you'll punish me harder? Win-win

For the longest time, the only person I blocked on bluesky was Matt yglesias Now I'm constantly blocking genocide shitlibs Retvrn

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve And by Adam and Eve, I mean America's number one dildo dispensary

always just enough

"ass or tits?" how about her dull, soulless eyes and vacant stare

Well, he works for Der sturmer, Herr Ganz

spending two thousand dollars for a little attache case to carry my two hundred dollars around in

I keep thinking pearl jam was the worst 90s band, but then somebody reminds me Smashing Nasal Whine exists

Posted when I saw Clinton a few days ago: He was president 30 years ago and he's still younger than any president we've had in the last 9 years

Praying you're wrong about that last one

HOW DARE YOU YOU SON OF A just kidding

As much as I hate Donald Trump, I don't want dozens of innocent american schoolgirls bombed I assume Iranians feel the same regarding their shitty government

So how long does the "we can kill and kidnap heads of state whenever we feel like it" trend last? Seems kinda chaos agent

My second cat as a kid was a scarred up gladiator stray we adopted. The first time I saw him, he immediately flopped on his back like this for me to rub his belly Best cat I ever knew 16 pounds of muscle and scars with the sweetest disposition a cat ever had

One thing that never gets mentioned is that Israel is the only state in the Middle East with nuclear weapons and it has refused to sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT). The same Israel carrying out a genocide in Gaza that has unlimited support from the US. Yet Iran is the "rogue state".

The new world's about to be born, right? Right?

Of you allow the government to bet on what the government will do, you're the worst bookie ever

Does Nicaragua need any death squad money?