I swear something about this app always feels like the lights are on, so I've been a lil more buttoned up than my irl humor, and that makes me sad.

Methodology

Ursula the Sea Witch:

I wanna be an Arozarena when I grow up.

Keyboard at work stopped typing Y's and H's and I had to tell my facilities guy that my "kee-board" couldn't connect to "bluetoot" and I've never felt sillier.

Self care sunday: binge watching Ink master and ordering stupid shit online (from small companies)

This man LA as hell- named his dog Carlito Yamamoto? 😭

Baseball crush is back with his ex. My High school crush took me to lunch last week. Mercury for sure is in Gatorade.

Idk if I'm a bad friend or if it's just life rn, but I have NO inspiration for my friends' holiday gifts this year. 🫠

Bad bitches are still protesting Sbux and instead overspending at their local coffee shop and patisseries. 💪✌️

Ive had 3 medical professionals tell me I need to lessen stress, so i just ordered a new vibrator. 🤷‍♀️

EYEBROWS

Most Viewed Phatty

@holadude.bsky.social lmao I can't with your bsky Name right now hahaha

Hey just a reminder - in California if your wipers are on, your lights also have to be on. Be safe out there.

I think all my life problems would be solved by a bearded baddie picking me up from work with a car full of avgolemono soup, and this playing on the stereo. www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCeU...

lmaooooo this takes me back to college when I was dealing with a guy from Shreveport. Not a direct quote, but close. lmaoooo

Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”

open.substack.com/pub/felina51... Managed to write a whole piece about the Clase/Gambling scandal without using a "throwing games" pun.

Blog drops tomorrow. Keep those 👀 over this wayyy

Slightly related: I would pay at least a dollar extra for every Amazon order if I knew that it was going toward things like "liveable wages" and "not working warehouse workers to death." Two dollars extra. Hell, five dollars. Call it the woke tax and let people opt out of it, I don't care.

Watched the most recent Jurassic Park again last night, and it's nice they let Starling Marte have a cameo.

I just want everyone to have the experience of living in dignity with access to sufficient food, safe housing, needed medical care, high quality education, and time to engage with what sparks their curiosity and spirit this should not be controversial 🫠

I have SO many takes on the gambling / Clase of it all, but I can't let another bummer thing sit on my heart today. bleh.

www.reddit.com/r/baseball/c... Anybody good at running?

Found a local pasta shop on Too Good to Go, and wound up with a 3 lb bag of fresh noodle scraps 😍

I miss my A's boys so much.

Not really interested in chatting with a computer. I would like some trains and subways built though.

This feels like a fever dream.

but also... This is one of my 4 personal walkup songs. www.youtube.com/watch?v=RviO...

Admittedly not my genre, but .. someone check on Skrillex

Last night was a treat.

I'd like to exercise his [redacted] SORRY. BUT TRULY -- so happy he has found success and a baseball home. Been following his journey since his literal debut day, rooting for him always <3

Ghosts of gifts past. (High school bestie sent me that he found this today. I cant 🫠🤦‍♀️)

Baseball is done ao I turned on DWTS. And @flavorflav.bsky.social is the guest judge. 😭😭😭 I am tremendously locked in.

Everytime someone plays that Michael Bublé song, they should have to pay Shohei a cut

Moments that remind us of good in the world ALERT: Older lady at the hospital grabbed my hands in the elevator to tell me my nails were gorgeous. I didn't have it in me to tell her they are inspired by a Nas album cover. But I'll take the love. hahahha

Hey sweet thang, This is your reminder that every living thing in the world slows down during these next months. You’re not lazy cuz you’re doing less. It’s okay that the early darkness makes you tired (it’s supposed to). Humans the only ones who keep fighting against the natural patterns of life.

INSANE LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN IM IN YOUR LANE LIKE ITS ONLY THREE SECONDS TO SCORE TO WIN THE GAME.

YOSHI SAID "BUENAS TARDES" and i died.

Snell throwing dubbs up makes me feel something.

Boston so toxic, you can't even get cheaters to stay with their cheater managers.

Some thoughts on last night 🙏⚾💙 open.substack.com/pub/ruthkape...

This week's silly sports newsletter is about believers... in extraterrestrials, including some who've had encounters and believe their teammates are aliens. Shout out to @felina510.bsky.social for sending me the J.P. Crawford video that inspired it. sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/the-athlet...

One of my besties from Gardena just posted this and im weak (would wear on a shirt)

Thinking about Vesia rn too. 🩶🩶

Poky forever.

YOSHI WINS & DRAKE LOSES AGAIN SOMEHOW.